8 Dates You Can’t Stand After A Certain Age
When you were in college and your early twenties, you didn’t mind if all you got out of a date was a good laugh at how bad the date was. You had plenty of years and plenty of dates ahead of you. In fact, part of the reason you were even going on dates was for the hilarious stories and awkward encounters.
You also didn’t require as much sleep back then; you didn’t have as many digestive problems (it’s okay: it happens to us all), and you definitely didn’t have very high standards for men. But, you’re a little more distinguished now. You can’t waste your time dating just for the sake of the story. You hope something actually comes out of this, so you can’t waste your time on terrible date ideas. Here are eight types of dates you don’t want to go on after a certain age.
Camping can put you and your date in a position where there are no distractions—it’s just you and nature. It can help you see how the other responds to being away from comforts of modern life and the luxuries of an apartment.
More like catastrophe
Oh, nobody remembered to bring lighter fluid so hot dogs won’t be happening. Nobody knows how to put up a tent. Nobody remembered mosquito repellent. By the end of the date, you’re scared, hungry, cold, itchy and cranky. For goodness sake if it’s nature that you’re after, meet at the hotel bar of a lodge.
When you were younger, you and your friends were inseparable. It was almost impossible to go on a solo date because any day someone would ask you out, you probably already had plans with your group of friends. So, you just brought your date along.
You don’t talk to your date
If you and your friends meet up with your date and his friends, you won’t get to talk to your date. Your friends will take up your attention, his friends will take up his, and you’ll be left in an awkward group hug situation at the end. Should you dare to sneak off with your date, your friends will be watching you. You’re two adults; you can handle a one-on-one date.
High school reunion dates
Won’t it be funny and quirky—like the plot of a comedy—to bring a first date to your high school reunion? You two can bond over how much you both can’t stand your old high school rival. Plus, it’s an open bar.
High school all over again
You may have forgotten some of your stories from high school, but your old classmates and teachers haven’t. They’ll tell your date about the time you were caught doing it under the bleachers. They’ll tell your date about the time you farted loudly during a school assembly.
Two-for-one drink hour
In your early twenties, going somewhere where the drinks were cheap and a-plenty made perfect sense. You loved how alcohol made conversation flow and made making out fun with pretty much anybody.
Aka a blackout date
You can’t handle four margaritas in one hour anymore. A) You get so drunk that you cant carry a conversation and B) You have to run to the bathroom every 10 minutes because your bladder isn’t what it used to be. You wake up the next day having no idea if you liked your date or not. What a waste.
When you were younger, going on a gym date actually felt mature. You thought, “What a grownup, healthy, ambitious thing we are doing.” Plus, you got to wear your cute sports bra around your date.
Aka worst nightmare dates
Things jiggle a lot more on the treadmill now. Oh yeah—you can’t even stay on the treadmill for more than 12 minutes without getting seriously winded, drenched in sweat and red in the face. You’re trying to make small talk while you’re doing burpees and HATING LIFE. Gym time is for alone time.
Sports bar dates
What a fun way to show your competitive side, and to show that you can “hang” with the guys. Besides, you’ll get to meet your date’s friends, and they can tell him how cute you are.
More like anger management at a bar
Don’t watch a man watch sports until you’ve gotten to know him. Some men develop temporary Tourette’s during a sports game. Some men scream obscenities you didn’t even know existed. Some men kind of start bar fights during sports games. Some men even cry. It’s a mess—don’t witness it until you’re sure your date is not a mess.
Aaah the classic movie date. Your hands accidentally caress in the popcorn bucket. You turn your face into his shoulder during the scary scenes. You share a brief moment of eye contact during a laugh.
Movie dates are wasted dates
Movie dates are fine when you’ve been with somebody for a while. You can go into the movie, enjoy it, go home and go to sleep. That’s exactly what you do because nobody has time for an entire movie and a regular date. You get one, or the other. And if you just see the movie, you don’t get to talk to your date. It was a total waste.
Your friend’s gig
Your friend is singing at the local café, and you think, “Perfect! I’ll bring my date. That way I’ll support my friend and my date will get to meet my social circle.”
Your friend is, er…well she’ll get there
Unless you know your friend is a pro, don’t bring your date to watch her sing, play the guitar, read poetry, do standup comedy or put on an interpretive dance performance. It’s pretty awkward to take a date to a friend’s amateur gig; your date isn’t comfortable enough with you to tell you what he really thought, but he also doesn’t want to lie to you.