Girl Talk: How Real Is The Underboob Sweat Struggle For You?

February 1, 2016  |  

Corbis

Corbis

Every time I read about underboob sweat, it’s around summertime.

I guess some people believe that the only time a woman with larger breasts deals with underboob sweat is when it’s hot outside. And yes, summer is a brutal time for all body parts that sweat profusely and inconveniently (here’s also looking at you inner thighs, pits and cooch!). But if you really know the underboob sweat struggle, then you know that it’s an issue all year long. That includes this time of year when you’re throwing on layers to deal with the blistering cold, only to find yourself in uncomfortably warm temperatures once you finally get indoors.

I was actually inspired to write this after doing a phone interview at home, in a super thick flannel sleep shirt, with my hot laptop on my lap. After talking for more than 20 minutes, I started feeling lightheaded. Not only was my apartment heat on full blast, but my computer was making things worse. I realized that I was sweating extensively. Not only in my armpits, but as I looked down, under my breasts. Literally, the middle of my chest was soaking wet, and sweat beads were dripping down my onto my stomach. As I’ve said before, I recently lost some weight, so my breasts aren’t as big as they used to be. Therefore, I assumed this was a struggle I had overcome.

But there my tit sweat was, laughing at me, yet again.

Have you ever been riding on public transportation, regretting that you wore the puffiest coat you have with the thickest wool sweater, only to feel that feeling? You know, the trickling of water down your abdomen? Went to a workout class and found that nope, it’s not your back, head or armpits that are raining, but your breasts? And yes, have you ever walked the streets thinking you were killing the game in your low-cut dress and wedge sandals on a hot day in July, only to have to grab the straps of your bra and start shaking them to air things out?

I say all that to state the obvious. Underboob sweat is a real son of a b—h.

But do you really need a whole host of products for it? Like the Body Saver antiperspirant cream? Or the Belly Bandit bra liner?  How about Fresh Breasts body cream? Or maybe Body Glide Anti-Chafe Balm? If you didn’t know before that there is now an extensive market to help you banish fun bag sweat, now you know. And while some think they’re great miracle-working products, others question if they’re yet another way to make women feel like crap about the natural things there bodies do. Are we too tailored to try and make our bodies perfect that we’re ashamed of their common functions?

Uh, yeah, I would say no. It’s not worth thinking that deeply about, that man is out here telling us we’re to be pristine, hairless, sweatless creatures. Look, underboob sweat is quite the struggle, and it’s uncomfortable, so having products available to quell that waterfall is a pretty good idea in my opinion.  But I wouldn’t buy any of the products. Good ol’ deodorant and baby powder under my breasts does the trick just fine in comparison to some creams, balms and liners that are almost $30. But whatever works for you, go for it. Because no matter how cute you look, there’s nothing like underboob sweat to make you feel nice and disgusting.

Do you deal with some crazy underboob sweat? How do you take care of it? Would you buy any of the products on the market made specifically to handle/banish/clean up such perspiration?

 

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