How To Fire A Bridesmaid With Minimal Drama
You thought that she was the one. As soon as you got engaged, you knew that she would be a part of your loyal girl squad of bridesmaids. You put together a cute little bridesmaid proposal, and she happily accepted. But now, you’re having second thoughts.Though you tried to be understanding, her Debbie Downer attitude is funking up the groove and you fear that she might be out to ruin one of the most important days of your life. Your other bridesmaids have already had enough of her and you’ve decided that you’re not about to allow one bad apple to spoil the bunch. So you’ve made up your mind to give her the boot, but you’re hoping to do so with as little drama as possible. Here’s how:
Although you’re probably dreading the conversation, it’s best to have it sooner than later. Don’t wait until dresses have been purchased and flights have been booked to tell her that she’s out—unless you’re prepared to reimburse her for the money she has already invested.
Do it in person
While it’s probably much easier to send an email or text message, if she lives close to you, the classy thing to do would be to let her know in person. And if she doesn’t live nearby, pick up the phone. Things tend to come across more harshly when sent electronically—and you know people love to get buck when they’re able to hide behind their cell phones and computers.
Do it alone
You don’t want her to feel as if you and your crew are ganging up on her, so it’s best to keep this conversation between the two of you. Although having your maid of honor present for moral support sounds like a good idea, it’s not. And definitely don’t have one of your other bridesmaids deliver the news for you.
Situations like this should be handled with care. It’s bad enough that she’s being booted from your bridal party, at least be nice about it. And as Rebecca Stokes explained in her 2014 article for The Stir, “Nine times out of 10, these things can be solved with good manners.”
The best way to kick off this conversation is to just get straight to the point. “Unfortunately, I’m going to have to ask you to step down as a bridesmaid. I’m very sorry.” You’re free to provide an explanation if you feel compelled to do so, or if she asks for one, but don’t beat around the bush.
Extend the olive branch
If she hasn’t been behaving like a complete lunatic and you still consider her to be a good friend, let her know that you would still love for her to be a guest on your big day. Tell her that you’re sorry the whole bridal party thing didn’t work out, but that it has nothing to do with how you feel about her.
Have you ever had to fire a bridesmaid? Have you ever been let go from someone’s bridal party? Tell us about it below.