Experienced Moms: Please Keep Your Labor Horror Stories To Yourself
It’s only natural for us women to want to share our business to others especially if we are pregnant. I can’t tell you how many times I have walked into my gym, perused the aisles of a grocery store or tried to get my praise on at church before I heard a pregnancy story. As this is my first child I welcome advice from other mothers. I will be a newbie to the club and have no idea what’s in store for me. However, that does not mean that I want to hear all of the bloody (literally) details about your labor and how horrible it was. Talk about mood killer. I am days away from my due date and don’t need to have any more worries on my mind than I already do. In the words of Sweet Brown, “ain’t nobody got time for that.”
I’ll let you in on a little secret; I have not held a baby let alone changed a diaper since my sister was born and she is now in college. There are not enough words in the English dictionary to convey how thankful I am that my husband has a huge family full of children to give him the experience in areas that I lack. Throughout this pregnancy we have tried to make the necessary provisions to help ensure we stay healthy and informed. Whether it was reading up on all those Baby Center and What to Expect When You’re Expecting emails or taking a multiple week childbirth class, we definitely covered our bases. With that said, I know there is nothing one can really do to perfectly prepare for labor as things always have a way of going left when you need them to go right. I can only pray that my experience will be safe for my child and me.
The one thing that seems to bother me about other mothers (not all of course) is how quick they are to try and Debbie Down your situation. “Girl, I was in labor for three days and saw the white light. You better prepare for hell ’cause that’s what’s gonna come.” Really? That’s really what you want to tell a first-time mother who is about to give birth? Even if you had a rough experience. why must you project that onto me as if I will go through the same exact thing? At the end of the day we are all different–there is no set experience that will happen to all of us other than the child coming south of the border or via a cesarean.
To all the expecting mamas out there I say learn to block out too negative of information for the sake of your well-being. We need to be warriors when the time comes and not excessive worriers thinking about those war stories we have been told. Obviously, I know labor and delivery is no walk in the park – there will be pain and possibly screaming. However, focusing too much on stressful things can actually prolong delivery making the experience that much longer. Do you want that ’cause I sure as heck don’t. As much as someone may think they’re trying to help by keeping it real, enact a don’t ask, don’t tell policy should you start to get overwhelmed.