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Let’s get one thing clear from the jump: men not named George Clooney are not averse to marriage as an institution. The characters in black love flicks (often starring Taye Diggs or Omar Epps) might have folks convinced that men would rather be garroted in the scrotum before they settle down, but that’s not the case….we’re just really, really cautious about who gets the Magic Stick for life.

I tried to think of at least five things that freak men out about getting hitched, but for me, it all fits under the umbrella of three:

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