How Soon is Too Soon to Get Engaged?

July 11, 2011  |  

In your opinion, how soon is too soon to get engaged to be married to someone?

“Basketball Wives” star Evelyn Lozada and NFL player Chad Ochocinco were engaged after dating for four months. Singer Monica and Los Angeles Laker Shannon Brown met in June 2010 after he was her co-star in the video for “Love All Over Me.” In October of that same year, Monica confirmed her engagement to the baller. Now, these two celebrity relationships have two different endings: Lozada and Ochocinco say they plan to be engaged for a while (we’re hoping La La & Carmelo Anthony style for some years), while Brown and Monica were wed a first time in November in a private ceremony, and once again this past Saturday in a huge ceremony for friends and family. But based on comments by people on gossip blogs and in articles around the web, both scenarios bring to the forefront the question of how long people should wait to get engaged.

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  • Thoughtful

    Humm….very good question. I agree that it depends on the couple. Marriage simply does not mean the same thing to everyone anymore. The option of getting a divorce is normalized to the point that people don’t really consider marriage as “forever”…more like “right now”. To each is own. Getting married regardless of time should be taken seriously. If the coulpe is not respecting this privilege..divorce may follow. In my opinion its about temperament, communication, compromise, and commitment. If u have these thing time doesn’t really…matter..right?

  • And Because I Know

    No one should be getting engaged that darn quick its just outrageous. Give yourself time to grow and get to know a person. The divorce rate is what 60% now, cool it now! You may marry the wrong person .

  • Beauty&Wisdom

    I just read the article and would like to say first and foremost, i join in on the statement made by beauty-queen regarding Aids status when seriously being in a committed relationship. Black women must adhere to that. Second, time is of the essence, it takes more than just a few yrs to know someone, yet alone a few months. More women need Steve Harvey advice and listen to his morning show. Money can’t buy love, n that’s just a no money back guarantee high risk relationship, with or without papers

  • There is no date for that, just whether you are ready or not. If you are, go ahead =)

  • Cici & Coco -The Besties

    When they say the time is right it doesnt mean literally. Whether short or long if u both have that emotional connection where u could just look at each other & start smilin- then the timing is right. Whether ur both career goal oriented, u both can make it work. Love is also patient. & you must compromise. Pride aside. Thoughts aside… If this person is the one ur heart speaks first then ur head follows. Im only 21 btw. I’ve learned a lot from my first love. Loved him since i was 17. lots of negativity separated us.

  • SisterSarah

    "…Let’s not forget the importance of religious beliefs and the role God will play in your marriage…"

    Or *not* play, YMMV.

    From a legal standpoint, marriage has nothing to do with love. It is a contract that binds you together financially. So you'd better be checking each other's credit reports long before you apply for that marriage license.

  • tt_987

    I don't think that length time is the determining factor. It is more important to have emotional intimacy prior to getting engaged and ultimately married. Some can develop that in a relatively short period time. For others, it may take years. Sadly for others, they never get there.

  • When the time is right the time is right. There's no time limit but rushing it before it's time could prove detrimental. Once a couple is operating more off of actions than potential, I think the chances of success are greater.

  • AllThatJazz

    I met my fiance in February, got engaged in April and is getting married August 2012. I am happy and in love and so is he. When you find the one, there is nothing to think about. You know it's right when it's right.

    Side note: This article was terribly written. Great topic though.

  • Deeana

    I think it depends. I've been with my BF for almost 3 1/2 years, and if we met after I had my career together we probably would be engaged or married. However, I'm currently a graduate student, and would like to be financially stable with my career together before we spend money on a wedding, and new life. he also agrees (we've had a few discussions about this topic).
    So yeah, it depends on where you are in your life and how well you know the person.

  • Kayla

    i say wait at least a year

  • shells

    I married my husband after 3 dates & in 3 weeks time.. We had the same goals & didn’t have anything to lose since we both were just starting out, in school, etc.. We’ve been married now for 18 years with 2 sons. 🙂

    • Angel

      Good golly! That's awesome… Makes me wanna run to Vegas and elope. LOL. Love is SUCH an awesome experience!

    • Ericka

      wow thats amazing congrats shells


    I think that it just depends on the situation. A friend of mine been together with his girlfriend for 5 years. They finally got engaged for about a year, married, and is now divorced after A YEAR AND A HALF OF MARRIAGE! So it depends on the couple and how they operate. As long as the intentions are good and they both truly love each other, who the hell cares?!

  • Lady V

    Love doesn't have a time limit. Some folks get engaged/married in 1 month or 7 years & are just as happy as the next couple. You know when it's right, no matter how long you've known each other.

    • Beauty-Queen

      It's interesting that in this day & age people are not mentioning time needed to do an AIDS test i.e. 2 tests 6 months apart…No time together can tell you someone's blood /health issues. smh

  • Thandie

    For me PERSONALLY, i would like to know my boyfriend deeply before i get engaged
    I dont go for quick marriages, i rather we know each other for 3 years then get engaged then 3 months

  • Disappointed

    While the topic of this article was timely and thought-provoking, it was horribly written! Where are your staff editors? I expect better from this publication.