8 Shameful Reasons To Break Up With Somebody
There are plenty of fish in the sea—plenty of bitter fish, sexually confused fish, moocher fish, unambitious fish…you get the idea. So, yes, there are plenty but there aren’t plenty of great ones, so you shouldn’t toss one back just because one scale is a little discolored. Okay, enough with the metaphors. Here are eight shameful reasons to break up with somebody.
He used to sleep around
You can’t go out without running into somebody he once slept with, or, at least, somebody who knows somebody he used to sleep with. There are still lingering old hookups that text him late at night, asking him, “What’s up?” He had a, let’s just say “busy” past. The jealousy and anger this provokes can be enough to send women walking away from a man.
The past is the past
We all go through so many different phases and are so many different people before we even turn thirty. How would you like it if a guy broke up with you because you committed some petty crimes in high school? Or used to sleep around? So long as your partner is someone you respect today, you have to let go of who he was in the past. It’s amazing how happy you can be when you let that go.
He won’t spend money on travel/activities
Your partner wants to save money for a business idea, or to buy a home, so he won’t do things like travel to Costa Rica for two weeks or go on spontaneous booze cruises to Mexico. But you’re someone who likes to do things! See things! Experience things! You feel like this guy’s frugal ways are stunting you, so you might leave him.
Spend money with your friends
A) This guy might be on to something. You should admire a guy who plans for the future and is willing to forego passing pleasures in pursuit of something bigger. And B) you can just go on cruises with your friends for now, and come home to a great guy. You don’t need to choose one or the other.
He’s not into fitness
Fitness is a big thing to you—you’re always looking up the newest workout classes, you keep 100% vegan raw food in your house, and you exercise every day. You only drink twice a month or on special occasions. Meanwhile, you’ve found a man who likes to have a beer every night, and would rather sleep in than go on a hike on Sundays. You have a hard time being attracted to someone who doesn’t care about fitness, so you think you might just go for a run and never come back.
Fitness is fleeting
Hey, look, it’s great that you care about your health. But just so you know, after the age of 50, you can’t carry on like this, with your twice-a-day elliptical sessions and your 1,200 calorie diet. But if you choose a partner today based on your mutual love of green juice, you’ll reach the scary realization in a couple of decades that you have nothing left to talk about, and nothing left to do together. Find someone whose brain you love, and encourage him to eat a salad from time to time.
He doesn’t like to go out
You are very social. If you could, you’d attach an IV full of socializing to your arm. You always know what’s happening, who is doing what, and what the current password is to that speakeasy. Your partner, however, is happy to see his two best friends twice a month, and mostly stay home with you. You feel like you can’t connect if you didn’t both witness the social drama at X, Y and Z party that weekend.
He’s just ahead of his time
Newsflash: all of those people you love to party with are going to partner up and stop going out as much as they used to. But more importantly, you can go out without your partner! So long as he takes an interest in your life and listens to your stories of adventure and bar hopping, you can feel close. Maybe you should appreciate a man who isn’t out until 6 am with a dead phone.
He has too many female friends
He is just one of those guys with lots of female friends. Every name that pops up on his phone is that of a female’s. He introduces you to all of them and is very open and honest. But having him go to dinners alone with female friends, or chat on the phone with other women, is too much for you. Instead of putting your insecurities aside, you think it would just be easier to leave the relationship.
Oh get over it
First of all, if he has tons of close female friends it only means that he understands women very well, and he gets along with women very well. Translation: he’ll make a great partner and best friend to you. But more importantly, you’re going to have to get over your insecurities and jealousies around other women sooner or later. Isn’t now, when you’re with a man you really like, as good a time as any?
He has different politics from you
Whatever your politics are and whatever his are, they are opposites. He has very different ideas from you on how the government should spend money and how visas should be issued etc. So you’re thinking you’ll just vote him out.
It’s values that matter
So long as you both believe in the same fundamental ways humans deserve to be treated, it doesn’t matter how you think the government should achieve those results. If you both think everybody deserves opportunity, love, family and freedom, you can find a way to get along. Just stop talking about politics.
Your parents don’t love him
Your parents are full of questions and concerns. They seem to doubt he can provide for you. They question his character. They’re worried about the background he comes from. You think you may not want to fight the uphill battle of marrying somebody your parents don’t fully accept.
Parents never accept anybody
Alright, not never, but barely. Most parents think that nobody is good enough for their children. You know what else? Most parents don’t actually know their kids that well. Do your friends like your partner? They’re the ones who really know you. If you know this guy is good for you, just tell your parents they can either accept him or see you a little bit less. You’ll be astonished how quickly they embrace the guy.
He needs alone time
Every few weekends, he wants a weekend to himself. If you live together, he wants an hour to himself every night when he comes home from work, with no talking. You think that must mean he doesn’t love you. You think that if you were the one for him, he wouldn’t need that time. You think you’re wasting both of your time by staying in this.
Alone time is healthy
Even couples who are madly in love with each other and call one another “soul mate” need time apart. And it’s not really time apart that they need, but rather time alone. There is a little emotional growth that can only happen when we spend time with our own minds, in isolation. And only truly brave people take that time. Respect that your guy takes that time, and take some for yourself!