Corbis
Childbirth can be pretty scary, especially for first time moms, which is why the support of a partner is extremely important. However, one young mom-to-be who we’ll call “Taylor” will find herself without her husband’s support when she gives birth in a few weeks. The 26-year-old sought advice from Reddit’s popular relationship board this week because her husband is refusing to be present in the delivery room when she gives birth to their daughter. Taylor explains:
I am 34 weeks pregnant with my husband of a year’s baby (been together 4 years in total), and he is refusing to be in the delivery room when I give birth to our daughter. This also happens to be our first child, so even though my pregnancy is completely normal and healthy, I am extra nervous because all of this is new for me. I really would like his support. I know that he can’t assist with the birth, but just having him there would mean everything to me.
According to Taylor, her husband is fully aware of the fact that she wants him in the room, but he’s hell bent on not being there.
My husband is aware of how much I want him to be there with me, but he still refuses. He says that he’s concerned that he will pass out because of the sight of blood or other stuff, even though he has never had this problem in the past. He also seems to think that it would be pointless for him to be there because he can’t help or do anything. I’ve tried to make him understand that the support is all I really want from him. Having him there by my side would make me so much more comfortable and confident, which would mean everything to me. Finally, he says that I could just have my mom or his mother in the room with me, but I have told him that no one can replace him.
Besides having the support of my partner and friend, I want him to be there to share the moment with me. I want to be able to experience everything with him at the same time. I realize that maybe this is a selfish reason, but it is how I feel.
Of course, preparing to give birth to her first child isn’t overwhelming enough, but this whole situation with her husband has Taylor feeling pretty defeated.
We’ve talked about this for the past month, but I don’t feel like anything I say at this point is going to convince him to be with me. I thought he would come around, but with our daughter’s birth happening so soon, I’m losing hope that he will. I don’t know what else to say to him, and I really don’t want to force him into it if he feels that strongly. I want him to want to be there with me.
I had thought about asking a friend or someone else talk to him about this, but that might just make things worse. I don’t know of any way I can get him to see this from my perspective. Is there any chance he might change his mind or anything I can do to help change it, or should I just give up?
How would you advise Taylor to handle this situation?
