The Wait Is Over: Meagan Good & DeVon Franklin’s Book On Abstinence Coming In February

December 28, 2015  |  

www.thewaitbook.org #TheWait

A post shared by DeVon Franklin (@devonfranklin) on

We told you last year that Meagan Good and her husband, DeVon Franklin, were working on a book based on the practices that worked for them while they were dating. Specifically, the choice to refrain from having sex until they said “I do.” It was something both parties say helped them find true love and improve their lives. As Good told Jimmy Kimmel last year, “I had been in a couple of relationships and I was like, ‘You know, this isn’t really working for me.’ I wanted to do something different, and spiritually, it’s what I believe I always should’ve done. So I was like, you know, let’s try it this way. It was very different, and it’s been amazing.”

The pair have been happily married since 2012. With all the attention their relationship has garnered, and their hope to share the impact God has had on their lives with others, they’re looking to share tips on relying on faith to find the one in their new book, The Wait. It is finally being released on February 2.

I’m sure you’re wondering what else the book has to offer aside from his-and-hers tips on how to abstain from sex and having the patience to obtain the happy ending you’re seeking. Well, according to the synopsis, the book also asks you these questions to help you practice healthier dating habits:

  • Why haven’t I found true love yet?
  • What have I been compromising in order to find love?
  • How are some of my bad dating habits working against the life I really want?
  • What part did I play in the failure of my last relationship?
  • What negative patterns do I see myself repeating over and over?
  • Am I attracted to people who aren’t right for me?
  • What am I ready to sacrifice to become my best self?
  • What kind of person do I want in my life?
  • What do I deserve?

And the book will allegedly help you “experience firsthand the power of what happens when you put sex on the shelf, work on becoming the best version of yourself, and allow God to bring his vision for your life to fruition.”

 

Of course, we can’t say if this book will provide you with the answers and relationship you’re looking for. Either way, it should be a good read for the new year. Plus, who doesn’t love this pair?

The Wait is available for pre-order today and comes with exclusive photos from their wedding day. Again, the book is available on shelves February 2.

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  • Ksuave57

    The write of this article (Victoria) presented some very shady undertones. LOL

  • Taneesha Culture Clash Thomas

    i believe waiting is a testimony of faith…if you truly believe that God has brought you two together then each of you should have what the other needs in every way including sexually…waiting to be intimate is an act of faith on those beliefs.

    • Damnpops

      I agree, but I also always say that if wishes were fishes, the world would be an ocean. Meaning, what you wrote above is an absolutely ideal scenario. It’s one that couples covet and hope to find. Many believe they do find it. Those situations still may fail. There’s more than one way to skin a cat as they say. At the end of the day whether you wait or not, through some trial you just connect with the right one for sure. None of that is guaranteed through any method except learning through living.

  • Ms.610

    Can’t wait to read this! So glad they wrote this together!

  • Jesus Christ

    While with good intentions, there’s nothing special about this book – we’ve heard about it all before – other than the unique personal perspectives of this celebrity couple which, if anything, is probably nothing new. The case for abstinence until marriage is futile, unrealistic, and ineffective. Sex before marriage doesn’t guarantee (long-term) true love, but that applies to abstinence until marriage as well. From statistics to academic and even federal studies on this issue has consistently shown that it does more harm than good. Even if there are a few people who later on swears this book change their life, it doesn’t automatically mean it works and it’s worth it. Think of it this way, if a pharmaceutical company test out their drug on 1000 patients and only 100 people show positive results, that an abysmal 10% success rate. This book is nothing more than a cash-grab on the gullible, than truly being helpful because it won’t be helpful – at all.

    Being highly religious and conservative, Bristol Palin publically champions the case for abstinence and she failed not once, but twice. She just recently had another baby out of wedlock. She doesn’t seem to know what “practice what you preach” means. Even with all that has happened, she still thumps the Bible like her mother.

    Live your life. Have sex with mutual consent. Do it safely and be smart about it.

    • Ajavee

      I agree.

      • Jesus Christ

        Thank you.

        • Damnpops

          Thank you Jesus

          • Jesus Christ

            You’re welcome.

    • rochelle

      What do you mean “worth it”? What are you losing or gaining by not having sex. I would say it is always worth it to wait. If things go sour you can always say at least you didnt share you body with that person. Men and women should be more selective of who they let in. There is more to lose by having sex than abstaining.

      • Jesus Christ

        Thank you for responding.

        Well, “worth it” is out of context. Within context, I meant it (abstinence until marriage) is NOT worth it. And regarding abstinence program, it’s not worth it (it’s actually a waste of taxpayer’s money) and it doesn’t work.

        Well, what you gain or lose varies in the population and a matter of opinion. Some can argue that you gain emotional and sexual satisfaction by having sex, even if it’s temporary. But if you have frequently, then the satisfaction is frequent. Some even gain love. One example of a loss applies to religious people, those who strongly believes in the words of God and their loyalty and pressure from their religious parents. You can lose virginity, faith, and trust.

      • Jesus Christ

        “If things go sour you can always say at least you didnt share you body with that person.”

        Welcome to the real world. People take risks. This is a logical fallacy because your statement implies that sex before marriage has risk of things going sour and not in marriage, but from the high divorces rates and cheating scandals in US, things can definitely go sour in marriage as well. Look, I’m not saying you shouldn’t be cautious – there’s an argument to be made for that, but not in a fallacious way.

        “Men and women should be more selective of who they let in.”

        I agree. You want to to be careful about who you befriends, have sex (before or after marriage), etc. This is the cautious way I prefer. Be smart about who you choose.

        “There is more to lose by having sex than abstaining.”

        I disagree 100%. If you choose to abstain, that’s all fine and dandy; you have a typical conservative POV on this issue. But, your statement does not reflect the reality of societal youth or adult whatsoever. What you think is one’s loss is another one’s gain. You gotta open your mind and see other people’s perspectives.

        • rochelle

          No need to open my mind. Im not a virgin. Been there, done that. I dont look down and shake my head when I hear people waiting until marriage for sex. I admire them. Especially the man because I know it must be hard with so much pressure. When i say lose i rather mean the woman has more to lose. Being used, catching an STD, getting emotionally attached, being lied to, raising a child alone etc. All things you will care less about if you didnt bother sleeping with the guy. Just another FU and keep it moving. If a young lady chooses to lay down (and Im really speaking in casual terms) she risks harming her body and heart. Same for men. Avoid it at all cost. Stay alone if you have to. Learn to love yourself. I advise young women to concentrate on their studies and avoid ending up a bitter baby mama (another horrible problem in our community). Date with the purpose of marriage. If waiting till marriage is a solution so be it. I might be of the minority but sex really is not that big of a deal and it actually SUCKS for the woman if she doesnt love the man. No point it in. Actually to me its like at the bottom of the list of the greatest things in life. Money, family, and companionship come way before it. Sex is like an ends to a means for me. I dont expect everyone to feel the way I do but it is best to run from the sex obessed and those with no respect for people or their own bodies.

          • Jesus Christ

            Thanks for responding.

            1) There’s a good argument to make to save oneself for someone special rather than being salacious because it’s frowned upon in society or because you just like the idea of being with one person. But, I don’t agree to the extent that it has to be in the context of marriage.

            2) “the woman has more to lose. Being used, catching an STD, getting emotionally attached, being lied to, raising a child alone etc.” The majority of this claim is baseless and this a slippery slope fallacy. These risks aren’t woman-exclusive. Other than raising a child alone, which I agree, it’ll mostly likely falls on the woman’s side, it’s known that men, too, can be used by women, catch STDs, get emotionally attached, and being lied. Not to mention that this slipper slop can happen for sex during marriage as well. I want to see some reputable citation on “the woman has more to lose”. Those who are smart and safe about sex, can easily avoid this mess. Sex can just be about sex without all the baggage.

          • Jesus Christ

            3) “Learn to love yourself” – within context with your entire post and relating to the issue at hand, this is a red herring fallacy. You can love yourself (or not) and still have (smart and safe) sex before, during, and after marriage.

            4) “she risks harming her body and heart. Same for men.” I’m glad you recognize it here that sex/relationship goes both ways – men gets it, too. However, this statement adds no weight to make the case for abstinence until marriage at all. Both the man and woman can risk harming their bodies and heart before, during, or after marriage. Just a click away, you can find countless testimony of people getting physically harmed and their hearts broken in their marriage. These risks are not exclusive to pre-marital sex.

            5) “I advise young women to concentrate on their studies and avoid ending up a bitter baby mama (another horrible problem in our community).” I agree to the extent that women should get their education and career in order before they have a family so she’s stable financially. But, here again, you unfairly choose to conflate sex with having babies.

          • Jesus Christ

            6) “Date with the purpose of marriage.” Unrealistic and biased advice 1000%. Not everybody wants to get married or even believes in it. There are some people who just really enjoys dating and having sex and again, some people are willing to take the risks.

            7) “I might be of the minority… I dont expect everyone to feel the way I do” I agree, you are in the minority. 38% of Americans share your beliefs (Pew Poll). How you want to perceive abstinence, sex, marriage, and the priority of them all is all good with me. I respect your freedom to live how you want to live with the values and opinions you have. But, in respect to the topic at hand, it really doesn’t apply to the entire society. To a lot of people, sex is a positive thing, before, during, or after marriage. You say that you don’t need to open your mind, yet your entire post paints pre-marital sex in a very broad and myopic brush. Not one positive thing. Perhaps your POV on pre-marital sex has tarnished because of one or a few bad hiccups with men?

    • themeowster

      I cannot handle how logical you are, Jesus.

      • Jesus Christ

        I have all the logic in the world at My finger tips…. when I do a Google search. LMAO

    • Oliva Honey

      I agree 100%. Thank you Jesus.

      • Jesus Christ

        Amen.

  • themeowster

    Every couple I’ve known who abstained til marriage got engaged a minute after dating and got married less than six months later – my guess is that the man just wanted to get laid and get it over with. Let us know if they’re still married 20 years from now and we might take relationship advice from them.

    • Ajavee

      My thoughts exactly Meowster. I am not knocking Megan or Devon’s marriage or hustle for writing a book on abstience however that concept may not work for all couples. As you mentioned let see if they are married 20 years from now. Everyone is getting their relationship hustle on in Hollywood.

    • rochelle

      I dont think that really matters. What matters now is that they are happy and in love. Both might even get a few children from their union. That is the purpose of marriage, no? So really whether they are together in 20 years is a moot point. Too
      much emphasis on sex. Often times 6 months is all you need to know if a person is right for you. People make relationships too hard sometimes.

      • themeowster

        I would love to know if the people who got married in less than 6 months in this day in age are still happily married in ten years lol Also, my original comment mentioning the couples I know who married quickly after abstaining got married BECAUSE the guy was dying to have sex! So the emphasis on sex in their union was far more pronounced than a couple who has already slept together, if you think about it.

        • NICOLE LEWIS

          You can’t really compare a man having sex with a woman to a man who isn’t. They are going to behave differently and of course sex isnt going to be an issue with the man who is getting it. If you think about it this way, the sex issue would become a hot topic with the couple that had slept together if the woman wanted to stop sexual relations. So then he’s in the same boat as the abstinent couple and from there you can really tell his true intentions. And for men who end up marrying women who desire to be celibate it’s really not for the sex, it’s because of the persons characteristics and desirable and/or marriageable qualities. Is sex an incentive? Yes, but to frame the conversation as if it is the main reason for marriage is misconstrued. A man does not have to stay in a relationship for six months to get sex. They stay without sex because they are genuinely interested in the woman. Think about: with all the women who aren’t celibate, why would a man stay in a celibate relationship when he can easily get sex from another woman?

          • fourthwavefeminism

            for appearance, or because they feel like it’s “time” to get married and that woman just so happened to be the one to come around at the right time. It’s absolutely no surprise that any “celibate” couple I’ve known to wait til marriage only waited a few months.

      • NICOLE LEWIS

        Yeah I agree. 6-10 months is reasonable.

    • NICOLE LEWIS

      You mentioned “we might take relationship advice e from them, ” and I assume you are speaking of the public but if their advice seems reasonable, it doesn’t hurt to try it out.

  • Napunzel

    Good for them :).

  • Leilani

    They abstained for like 4 months and then married shortly after! That’s like Kim Kardashian writing a self-help book..lol

    • dt

      That’s what I was thinking. They didn’t abstain that long. If I met a guy today and married him tomorrow and had sex then is that really abstaining. No shade but seriously?

      • Rochelle

        Four months and the next day are two different things hun.

        • dt

          Lol I know. I just don’t think abstaining for four months is that hard. It kinda comes off as I’m tired of waiting for sex so let’s just get married. I guess it really is better to marry than to burn lol.

          • rochelle

            I see your point. I also see no problem with marrying after a short time. Sometimes you just know when you find the one. Besides her husband abstained for 11 years before they married. Im sure he had lots of offers and temptations over the years. It is clear he is of great character (at least self control wise) and if he loves her and vice versa why go through the prolonged dating and engagement? When you know you just know.

            • dt

              gotcha

              • Damnpops

                4 months is so easy lol

          • Oliva Honey

            girl, no tea no shade no pink lemonade buh shiiiiiiiiiiit 4 months isn’t enough time to know someone well enough to marry them. I feel ya. a lot of ppl go celibate, then want to get married to have sex, get married, and realize that person wasn’t the one bc you were sooooo blinded by lust lol. and if you do get married, whose to say youre sexually compatible with your mate? lol

            • NICOLE LEWIS

              I think she knew him or was friends long before they were married.

  • Ce1999

    I’m sure they are well-meaning, but personally for me it’s just been having Christ at the center and everything flowing from there. To just focus just on waiting, is kind of minimizing the importance of how celibacy/abstinence flows out of a relationship with the Lord, so that it’s not so much about waiting, and having the perfect relationship, but what it looks like to honor God with one’s life in every area. That said, I haven’t read the book and realize this is a hot topic (i.e. – Russell/Ciara). So who knows; it’s unfair of me to pass too much just judgment. Just critiquing based off the synopsis.

    • LogicalLeopard

      Very good observation, in general. Don’t know if the book touches it, but I definately agree that the focus is on a relationship with the Lord, not just abstaining from sex. If a person is spending more time trying to avoid sex than they are solidifying their relationship with the Lord, they’re doing it wrong.

    • terry

      GREAT INFORMATIVE POST, I AGREE 100%

  • looking for a unicorn

    She found a needle in a haystack- a good black man that has his act together and is into black woman and was willing to wait for sex until marriage. Good luck to the rest of us because we are going to need a miracle if you don’t want to settle.

    • Blair

      Then why wait for a Black American man? There are other types of Black men or men in general out there too….African men are very educated, family oriented, and respect Black women, or interracial dating.

      • Ariel

        Many African men are controlling, too…well, atleast some of the ones I’ve come across.

    • Ksuave57

      Women need to step it up too and stop being the side chick, thot, or hustler (getting preggars). I know none of us has all the answers and dating is sooooooo damn difficult but I always say a man will only do what a woman lets him.

  • Lentina

    Truly a wonderful thing to wait and have the well power and courage to do this while in a relationship before marriage. I honestly think it a challenge if your mind and body is weak. But with prayer and strength from God it is possible and achievable. I would love to try this to spiritually cleanse.

    • Rochelle

      Bless this couple. I always look at Megan Good and think what a lucky woman she was to find not only a good looking man but a successful man with money and confidence. Not only that a man that respects himself enough to not have baby mamas and that most of all was mentally strong enough to abstain for 11 years. Yes ya’ll he abstained for 11 YEARS! That is highly attractive to me. Some girls have all the luck. I once dated a man that had had sex only once in his lifetime and he was 29. It made more attracted to him and made me repect him much more. He just didnt have other things that I desired, but that is another story. Ladies take a lesson. This is the type of son you want to raise. One that respects his body, reputation, family, and God.