7 Things to Consider Before You Get Pregnant Again
When I was a teenager I was sure I wanted four kids. I just have one sibling, so my desire for a big family had nothing to do with my situation at home. I think I just felt like having a full house would make me happy.
Later in life, I met the man that would one day be my husband. We often talked about having children, and our conversations were interesting because at that point my number changed from four to two. My future husband, however, wanted four. We finally settled on this: Two kids? Definitely! Three kids? Possibly. Four kids? Hell no!
Now, after 6 years of marriage, we have a 4-year-old son and a daughter who is almost 2. They are wonderful kids and frankly, my house feels pretty full with just the two of them. But sometimes I wonder, should I have another kid? My husband is certainly on board with the idea, but he also respects any decision I make.
Having and raising children is a blessing but it certainly comes with challenges. Children require a lot of time, they have countless needs, and there is definitely a financial commitment that comes with every child you bring into the world. As I give serious consideration to the idea of having another child, there are a few major things that come to mind.
Here are seven things you should consider before you get pregnant again. I know they have all been heavy on my mind.
Leave a comment and share what you considered before you made the choice to expand your family.
Are you financially stable? This doesn’t mean that you can’t have kids unless your finances are in great shape. It does, however, mean that you should really think long and hard about adding another person to the picture if you can barely take care of essentials like housing and groceries. Even if your financial situation could use some work, if you are able to comfortably meet the basic needs of your current family and you have a financial plan in place, you should be able to make things work.
Do you have a strong support network? Having support from the people you love most is priceless. Think about your current network of family and friends. Will they offer support in times where you need it most? Doing it alone is no joke, so form a network or hold strong to the one you already have. It really does take a village.
What is the state of your relationship with your current children? As moms, we all make mistakes and will continue to do so. However, making mistakes doesn’t mean that our relationship with our children should be strained or in a constant state of distress. If you feel like things with your children are not working out well, try to address those issues in order to improve the situation. Once you get to a better place with your current children, you will be in a better place to manage things differently with your third child.
Are you in good health? I’m in the process of improving my health right now. I’ve lost 20 pounds in the last year, and I have 20 more to go (although, I’ll take 15). I am also working on managing my stress better and finding more time to pray. This is all in an effort to improve my mental, physical, and emotional health. Keeping up with just one kid when you are in poor health is tough. If you want to expand your family, become a little selfish and focus on your health.
Is your mate on board with the plan? Whether you plan to adopt or become pregnant, if you are in a relationship, the person you are with should be on board with the plan. Having a child is a pretty big deal, so forcing anyone into it is risky business. Have a conversation (or many) and make sure you are both on the same page.
Is your home in order? My kids sure know how to make a mess. Sometimes it gets out of hand, but I always find a way to bring the home back to order. I’m no Martha Stewart, but I know where to find stuff and we have plenty of bins and baskets to keep things organized. If you feel like your house is completely out of order it could be the sign of a deeper issue. Dig a little deeper to find out what’s really going on and get your home in order before you add a new mess-maker to the picture.
Is your spiritual life in order? I think the quality of your life is directly correlated to how connected you are to a higher power. If you feel lost, confused or frustrated, make that connection. Choosing to have children should be a decision you make in a state of calm and peace, not chaos and confusion.
Martine Foreman is a freelance writer, lifestyle blogger, and life coach. To follow her journey as a busy mom, wife and honest chick from Brooklyn, NY (now living in the burbs), check out her personal blog, CandidBelle.