MadameNoire Featured Video

In the new issue of New York Family magazine, Wendy Williams, who is pretty much an open book about her past, was asked about raising a teenager, her parenting philosophies, and balancing being Wendy Williams the talk show host and Wendy Hunter the wife. She was also asked about the struggles she endured while trying to become a mother.

Williams has spoken in the past about having two miscarriages and how that experience impacted her. But she told the magazine that if she had to give advice to other women about how to deal with such loss, it would be to continue to talk about it. Share your story so that more women know they’re not alone. According to Wiliams, doing so has helped her find peace, and had helped many other women too:

I was five months pregnant when I had my first [miscarriage]. It turns out that what I had was a weak cervix…I had two five-month miscarriages, and [the babies] both had names and the nurseries were set up for both; those were babies. I was on the radio, at that time, in Philadelphia, and I was a popular disc jockey and I had already gone out and done appearances—people saw me with the belly and had heard me talking about it! Then I had the miscarriage and it was like: “Okay, let’s talk about it! Come on, girls!” Turns out, girls all over were like: “This happened to me! And that happened to me…” So I say talk about it, and talk about it often when it’s appropriate, because the only way that we get stronger and more knowledgeable as women is if we stop being such bald-faced liars and stop acting like everything’s perfect. I only breastfed my son for like two weeks and I felt like such a failure…I was collapsed in my closet, just sobbing, and my mother heard me—because she’s nosey—and said: “Wendy, what’s going on?” And I said: “Mommy, I just can’t breastfeed anymore—I’m crying and sobbing and Kevin’s only two weeks old and I just can’t! I gained 103 lbs, and I hate to be selfish, but I need to lose some weight! I’m on the radio, I have a showbiz career going on here! Can I have some wine? I’ve been on my back for nine months and I’ve been trying to have a baby for the past 2.5 years!” I explained this to my mother and she screeches down to my father: “Tom! Bring the car around and bring the coupons for the Good Starts!” Turns out my mom had coupons [for formula] saved up for me… I feel like I’m no less of a woman because I didn’t breastfeed, but women don’t share that stuff—so you can feel like you’re less of a woman. My advice to women and to mothers is: Share stuff if your kid goes through something—whether it’s substance abuse or you bought him condoms or you caught her with condoms! If moms talked more, when appropriate and with the right listening ear, we’d be a lot better.

Her statements remind me of Oprah’s decision to not only talk more about the child she prematurely gave birth to at 14, but to also give him a name. Such revelations can not only provide healing for the women sharing their stories but do the same for the women who have been through similar ordeals.

What do you think of Wendy’s advice?

 

Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN