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Thanksgiving is a time to be grateful, to eat a large helping of a variety of foods, to come together with family and friends, and to get mentally prepared for all the money you will likely waste on Black Friday.

But Thanksgiving can also be a time for drama.

Like the drama my neighbor has found herself dealing with. While catching up with her in the hallway over the weekend, she filled me in on her complicated situation when I asked her about holiday plans. According to her, her father wants her and her adult siblings to spend the holidays at his home this Thursday. And while other family members would be coming to eat and bond, my neighbor, who’ll we’ll call Sheena, said that her problem is with the hostess. Her father’s girlfriend will be cooking most of the food and will obviously be present for all the festivities, and Sheena is not okay with that. Why?

Because her father’s girlfriend was the same woman he was seeing while still married to her mother. She’s part of the reason Sheena’s dad left her mom.

Sheena is uncomfortable around the woman because of the pain that she knows the situation caused her mother, and also because of the way her father’s affair tore up her immediate family. And while it has been a few years and Sheena’s father has been in a pretty loving relationship with the woman ever since, Sheena isn’t here for it, even if her brothers have been able to move on.

“She knew what was up with my mom and dad, and she didn’t care,” Sheena said. “She used to call my mom talking so greasy. Talking about she was just trying to help my mom out by satisfying my dad and that if she did right by him maybe he wouldn’t step out. Naw, I’ll never forget that. I can forgive him for it, but I will never forget that sh-t.”

Over the last year and a half, Sheena has tried to work on her relationship with her father, but according to her, mending things with him never meant getting close to his girlfriend. That’s a no-no. Sheena’s loyalty to her mother wouldn’t allow it. That has upset her father’s girlfriend, who feels as though Sheena, not her brothers, won’t won’t even attempt to be “civil.”

Sheena said she told him that she can’t come because she doesn’t want to share the same air, let alone space with the woman. Plus, her mother has also encouraged her and her brothers not to go over to their father’s home while the girlfriend is there. So that influence is making them feel like they would betray her if they were to make an appearance. They’re stuck in the middle.

“She thinks that woman has a negative energy, but really, I know my mom just doesn’t want us over there because she hates her. I would feel like I wasn’t loyal if I went.”

Sheena doesn’t want to disappoint her dad, but after watching her mother go through so much, that’s where her support lies. She said that’s something that her father has openly been salty about.

“But I don’t really know what he expects. These are the consequences of messing around and being selfish. I mean, c’mon. I love him to death, but things will never be how he wants. I could care less if he marries her, or whatever. She will never be family.”

While talking with Sheena, I found myself thinking that I couldn’t even imagine being in such a situation. I’m very close to both my parents, but as the child of a stay-at-home mom, I just always had that extra attachment to my mother over my father. If he hurt her and left to be with someone else, I would probably feel and react the same way. And if the tables were turned and my mother inflicted such pain upon my dad, I would probably react the same way towards her and her man. But as I’ve stated before, I am the leader of the Petty Gang.

Sheena’s father’s girlfriend is technically someone who strong-armed her way into a family and now hopes that everyone can respect her and be close. But you can’t always get what you want–especially when you try to obtain it through messy means.

Well, here’s to hoping that your family situation is a little less scandalous, and more focused on food and fun this Thanksgiving. Happy holidays!

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