The holidays are right around the corner, and we all know how fun and festive carving turkeys and trimming trees are for the fam, especially the little ones. Thanksgiving, Christmas and Kwanzaa are some of the most exciting times of the year; these holidays offer us the perfect excuse to see long-distanced relatives, give gifts that’ll make our loved-ones light up like lights, and gain a few pounds splurging on grandmas famous fried chicken, collard greens and red velvet cake. Not only are they important traditions, but they are those special little gems on everyone’s calendar designed specifically for family-time. Well, not everyone.
Truth be told, we are so accustomed to celebrating this time of year that we tend to forget that not all Americans are as quick to pull up to the table or rush to grab their gifts from under the tree as us holiday-hearts. Whether it’s because of religious views, upbringing, or they’re just a plain ol’ grouch, some people don’t observe these staple American traditions. So what happens if your new man hits you with the, “I don’t celebrate holidays” whammy jammy?
Some of you may be so bent on the season of jolly that you may just say to hell with it and dump him. But let’s slow it down a bit. You really like this guy. And although everyone has their own issues and personality imperfections, this seems to be his only major flaw. So do you continue to celebrate with your kids (and the rest of your family) as you’ve done every other year without him? (Even though it’s going to kill you not to be able to share those special moments with your man.) Or do you shut everything down in order to satisfy his ego and accommodate his beliefs?
If you chose option one, what if Mr. Doesn’t-Celebrate-Holidays-But-Everything-Else-Is-Perfect is the overly-zealous anti-holiday fanatic who takes his views so seriously that, not only does he not indulge, but he doesn’t go for his woman (nor her kids) partaking in the holiday season either? Can you balance making you, your man, and your kids (who love the holidays) happy all at once?
I personally know of a couple who has differing religious views which, of course, affect their holiday-celebration habits. Lish comes for a Christian background while her hubby, Hakeem, is Muslim. When they married, Lish decided to stop practicing the holidays that Hak’s religion forbids. And once they had children, she decided to fold and raise their kids to be anti-Thanksgiving and Christmas as well.So, it might be hard, but you can definitely make it work. (Although in Lish’s case, she had dated Hak for years and knew exactly what he was about before she married him and gave birth to his children.)
But in your case, this is a fresh fish, who is not the father of your kids, and you know damn well your babies who grew up their entire lives celebrating Santa and eating turkey necks is not giving all that up for their new (prospective) step-daddy.
So what to do?
While this is just a hypothetical situation for a few, some of you may really be going through this struggle right now. You can’t let your babies down this time of year, and you really don’t want to miss out on that good ol’ country-style dressing yourself. (Word to your tummy.) But you also don’t want to possibly ruin your happy relationship with a good guy. Depending on your situation, you don’t necessarily have to pick either or (there has to be some even ground that doesn’t include you loosing your love or giving up your holiday practices, but what is it?).
This is a tough call to make ladies, nevertheless, what would you do if your man doesn’t celebrate holidays?
