Tammi McCreary: “Who The (Bleep) Did I Marry?”

48 comments
July 5, 2011 ‐ By

 

Tammi McCreary was a woman making moves in the real estate industry in Atlanta, Georgia. She was just starting to get over her second divorce when she met Eric Perteet at a club. Tammi wasn’t looking for any type of romance but she struck up a conversation with Eric because he said he was in the market for a house. Things moved quickly and the two eventually married. But to Tammi’s shock and dismay Eric was not who he said he was…at all. Madame Noire spoke with Tammi to get her story and share what you can learn from it.

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  • philip

    Tammi … just wanna say that you are SOO right about not being able to ever truly know someone else.  I recently found that out myself .. the hard way.  So, here’s to your independence and happiness! Be well and God bless!

  • Jentowers83

    I’ve heard about this story when it first happened. I use to date eric back in 2003. i never knew he was married or had children, but we dated for a year or so. I knew him to be a computer geek, and worked for ups as a supervisor. He asked me to marry him but i wouldn’t because of his temper. One day i called it off and made the decision that we was not going to work. He went crazy sending me letters saying he would kill himself and he cant live without me. so i was scared that he would do so, so we got back together . A week later he called me and was like i have no one now. i’m like what u mean, he was like if u don’t marry me i will have no one! my life is over and he was crying. He went on to tell me that his parents had been killed in a tragic accident hit by a 18wheeler. I was shocked but something didnt sit well with me. I had a parent killed in a accident so i knew something wasnt right, I did my research no clarence perteet or wife had been killed he told me the funeral date and everything and was very convincing so i called the funeral home on 180 something and Torrence in lansing il, No one or Couple was there. From that point I knew he was crazy. We met up again in 2006 thinking hes grown and has changed but he was still the lying eric. So for Tammy I feel for you because of the lies and deception but the signs was there if we talking bout the same eric, and i know we are. You was just blinded by his charm and yes he has charm. You too old to be that blinded seeing as though u had 2 previous marriages. I know eric and if he passed one lie on you and u fell for it, then thats why he had such an urgency to marry you. I’m glad you have moved on but how about you sit down for a min to learn yourself and love yourself before u get tricked again. Be blessed!!!!

  • homie

    Everyone makes mistakes!!! All these know it alls need to calm down. I don't believe she was desperate- she had
    been married twice. I bet a lot of women making these ugly comments have NEVER been married. We all have
    weak times in our lives were all humans- just LEARN!!!!!!!!!! I don't let friends or men into my life quickly—that
    has to be earned.

  • Rev Joseph Brooks

    I would luv to meet this strong black woman

    • Filthydelphia

      just divide your assets in half and send her a check on the premise that she meet you. Might as well settle now.

  • Nopushover

    Excuse me but how dense is this woman? Did she not ever wonder why he didn't bring home a paycheck?? She must be one of those clueless women who let their men handle all the finances . Give me a break.

  • http://tamekiaperteet@yahoo.com Tamekia Perteet

    WOW OMG ERIC PERTEET IS MY FIRST COUSIN MY MOM NEPHEW THIS IS CRAZY I HAVE HIM AS MY FACEBOOK FRIEND

    • Africadwesley

      Where is he. He is fine. I will give him some act right

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001038470450 Sandra Silvels-johnson

    I have compassionate for you. I think every women at one time ror the other has rushed into a relationship. We might not had married them but we have been vulnerable. Our black men has been put down, placed in prison at an early age or killed, we have some who have left our black culture and leave us. We all are vulnerable to rushing into a relationship. Thank you for your honest.

    Sandra

  • http://youravon.com/mianicholson Your AVON Lady

    IN THE DOG HOUSE OR JUST WANT TO SEND A GIFT JUST CAUSE WITHOUT BREAKING YOUR PURSE OR POCKETS JUST GO TO http://youravon.com/mianicholson

  • CiCi & CoCo -The Besties.

    Cant judge this woman. Just take ur time mama no rush.

  • Mystic1

    Sorry, but this story and interview was done very poorly. This story could have been left out, due to it's premature delivery. Sounds like two 14 year girls, trying to imitate an interview, on a adult day time talk show. Smh.

  • Kizzie

    Well as dumb as this story is, I'm in love with someone who wasn't who they portrayed to be either. I didn't marry him and because he's such a horrible liar, it didn't take long for his true self to come out, but the sad thing is, I still love him. I know without a doubt that I'm a fool for him. I have never had a problem kicking a dude to the curb. I'm a freaking beautiful woman with a well-paid job, he's also well off (and I have been to his job. LOL) but I'm caught up! Today I finally cut it off (after a year). It's just dumb! He's a liar and a cheater and he doesn't appreciates me, BUT down inside I still wish it could work. I wish things would change, I still want to be with him and if he asked me, yes, I would marry him and would probably stay married to him with his trifflin self. LOVE IS BLIND AND STUPID, so I will not judge.

    • Amber

      And ull have noone else too blame for your heart ache. Your just as silly as the woman above. Just because you love him doesnt exempt the fact that he has other negative qualities that are deal breakers or does it? Wow and then after he breaks your heart you'll be calling him a dog and how there are no good men out there when your going in knowing exactly how he is. So if he does cheat and lie to you then you deserve it because your acting dumb over a dude because you love him. It takes more than love to be with someone.

      • serena

        @ Amber – That's such an insensitive thing to say. Kizzie shared, and you missed the core of what she was saying. She got caught up, still is and realizes it for what it is, but can't help herself. How many of us have been in that situation without the guts to come out and say it….and use reasons such as 'staying together for the kids', or 'we have an open lifestyle'?

        Point is – unless you've been there and have the courage to be open about it….don't judge.

        • Amber

          What Im saying is the truth. If you involve yourself with a person who isnt right just because you love them is stupid. And if you go in with eyes wide open knowing that a person is bad news then you are asking for a heartache. The point that im making is that it takes more than the feeling of love to love a person. Theres respect, honesty, truthfulness etc… Dude she is talking about dont even have these qualities and shes talking about marrying him if he asked her? And she knows hes trifiling? If thats not stupid then I dont know what is. Theres nothing courageous about being a dummy.

      • Leah

        How long have you been married Amber? Or been in your long term relationship? And what tips can you give to women to snag a great dude like you have?

  • muffy

    Interesting story, the article wasn’t written well but I got the point. It not my position to judge; however, if it walks like a duck it is. I’m puzzled that she married someone and you haven’t met any of his co workers or even know where his office is located. What if there is an emergency and you have to call the job…interesting story again. I guess some people can be book smart but lacking street smarts etc. I’m pleased that she was able to share this story.

  • Ni Ni

    The definate red flag for me would of been him rushing to get married. And get upset if I wasn’t ready??? She definately was passed blind with him. How could you not see those things?? Who stops practicing because of a death in the family but, is looking for a $500,000 house?? Why would you even believe a man that would say that at the club btw… I don’t care what anybody says. MOST younger men only date women that are quite a bit older are users. That should have been automatic to her. I don’t care what she says she was looking for or not looking for. Obviously she felt flattered by this younger guy coming on to her. All she saw and heard was young, doctor, and $500,000 house. You can’t possibly be THAT naive

  • MzMel

    I won't judge her because I don't know how good of a liar he was or any of that. I will say though that marrying a man after only 5 months is never a wise decision.

    The thing that struck me about this story was how he had NO verifiable past. The lies conveniently killed off everyone in his family, no friends, nothing. That would have been a red flag for me. That, and the wanting to move so quickly. I had a guy who, only weeks after meeting and wooing me wanted to move in. Instead of being flattered thinking I was something special, I immediately saw through that and figured out that he just wanted or needed a place to stay. Once I made it clear that wasn't going to happen, he moved on in search of his next victim. Women, PLEASE be more careful. This woman is lucky that all he was was a thief, and not a murderer.

  • dghob

    I'm sure the tv version of this story is 200% more interesting than this article. It was somewhat confusing and not very well written. I'll be sure to check it out when it comes on.

    • MzMel

      I agree. There was SO much missing and it went from them meeting to him being arrested with no transitional story.

  • From Boston

    This lady is very lucky because the story could've turned out much worse for her. ATL is known for alot of different lifestyles. I thought the story was going to end with her finding out the man gave her HIV or something. She really dodged a bullet and hopefully she'll take more time getting to know her mates before marriage. As someone mentioned before, a man his age doesn't just stop praticing medicine due to a tragedy. He will take his time to mourn and go back to work like most people who've lost loved ones. Red flags all over this story but she had her blinder on the whole time.

    • From Filthydelphia

      Very Lucky?

      She said she "Was really just getting over a divorce. And it took me years to get over the divorce but I was just coming to accept that the divorce did take place"

      Does anyone else think that what she really was waiting for, was the the SECOND divorce settlement of that huge house to be final?

      I dunno, my read is she is a shallow gold digger and what comes around goes around, she had "it" coming to her…karma can be a b#&$, uh huh, ah yep… bad things happen to bad people? whatever.. I would like to know more about her first 2 marriages. I am betting that the guys from the previous marriages are laughing their butts off!

  • STARO

    DISCERNMENT!!! Yes! I'm getting the impression this woman has used consistently poor judgement. She's down for 3 failed marriages–how do you possibly explain these repeated calamities the to the next 'good catch.' She fell for common blind spots that obscure a woman's judgement: status, money and appearance.

  • Jennie

    Maybe it's the way the article was written, but it does make Tammi seem very gullible and shallow. The qualities that she mentions that she like about him are very superficial. First looks, then money (the price range of the home), then position (former doctor), and the sympathy family (lost family).
    I will not speak on the length of the courtship because we all can probably name people with long marriages that had very brief courtships. What is more important is that she ignored that voice inside of her. That is God speaking into your heart. After 2 previous marriages, you would think Tammi would have been more discerning.

    • Everett552

      Or not bothering to get married again @ all let alone considering it for that matter. I would have been done after divorce #2. Sometimes you just gotta say "eff it" and let it be.

  • Guest

    Noticed that the guy still goes to church. How long till he finds another delusional black christian woman who wants a "God Fearing" man?

    • Likewater4choc

      Amen to that! lol!

    • MzMel

      Wish I could "thumbs up" this one more than once!!

    • Nikki

      LMAO!!!! Damn you know he'll find one too. I tried not to judge her I did. But the more I read her story the harder it became. Too many red flags, she ignored her gut feelings, and they rushed. Always listen to that little voice it's there for a reason. I hope her mindset has changed and she's better suited to be in a relationship.

  • http://www.randomlyspeakingpoeticallythinking.com/ Miss Sara

    I have seen many episodes on this show… and I also work in a Women's Prison so I hear a lot of stories like this on a nightly basis. I also had a story like this myself. I married a man who wasn't who I thought he was… and in the end? I couldn't blame anyone BUT myself. There WERE things I ignored… and there were reasons why I ignored them. We all play a role in our situations and once we learn what our role was THEN we can learn how to make different choices.

    • Likewater4choc

      Exactly, Miss Sara. There are always signs. And all women should do as you and accept blame for ignoring those things. The first thing for me was his family story (which occurred at the very beginning!). It's literally too tragic to be true! He was looking for a bleeding heart and found it. Beware of the man who has no friends or family when you meet him. I have met that guy who has all sorts of bad things going on with him and honestly, it sends me running for the hills. Because if he is living such as crappy existence, there is no way he is suitable for a healthy relationship. But despite all of this, the same guy wants to be in a relationship immediately. Yeah, right.

  • Coco

    I'm learning not to judge….because like she says, I might not have fallen for him but may have fallen for something else. Plus it sounds like she'd been married for a long time before getting back into the dating scene, so she was kinda vulnerable, and ignorant as to what she should look for.
    There's never a reason to rush though…and this is a great example of why

  • JustAshley

    Red flag #1 He said he was a doctor who stopped practicing because of the death of family members. Um…. Don't you know that after med school- doctors are broke as h*ll? They aren't skipping work out of grief! They are going to work and taking 13 shifts a day to pay them loans AND they are often taking little things here and there from the hospital JUST TO SURVIVE!
    Red Flag #2. He was young, stopped working out of grief but he was looking for a 500 thousand dollar house? LMAOOOOO! How does that make sense to anyone???
    *
    Dating 101.
    You google every dude you date.
    You meet him at the restaurant the first few times, until your comfortable enough to let him know where you live so he can pick you up.
    People love to talk about themselves- therefore ask lots of questions. If he's a liar, the story will fall apart OR he will decline to tell too much about his imaginary life.
    BEWARE of the dude who rushes you into a relationship/marriage/sex!

  • Courtney

    I would also have been suspicious because young guys generally don't want an older woman who has a son about their age without some ulterior motives. Young guys are not generally in the same place as an older woman concerning maturity and being stable in life. Think with your head, not just with your heart.

  • ALM

    I will refrain from judging this lady. I will say that thank God someone caught this guy before something worse happened.

    I do wonder if she was on the rebound and therefore missed the red flags because she was lonely. You mentioned in the article that she was still reeling from her second divorce.

    I would also be interested to know if similar issues (i.e. false idenities) were issues in her other two marriages.

    • Guest

      Actually, I grew up with Tami. Her other ex-husband's are stand-up, all-around good guys. So, to answer your question, no.

  • renna

    i feel for her because anyone, even all them 'holier than thous' who think it cant happen to them, can be fooled. but i do believe the old adage, if it seems too good to be true, it is

  • denise

    she sounded like she was just desperate. she kept saying she was not looking for a man, ok so why would you marry him so fast you didn't even know him. when he said he was a physician didn't she ever visit him at work to see if that was true? yes she should be wearing a dunce hat.

  • Dismayed

    I'm sorry but the comments were true. This woman should be wearing a dunce hat! How do you bring someone into your home and you can't even confirm that they are employed, who they are, their family backgroud??? Question, so when he said he could no longer practice due to the tragedy, what was her response??? I'll take care of you don't worry?? Sorry sweetie but this is a story you should have kept to yourself. I've never heard of anything so pitiful.

    • Allyce

      she's brave to come forward. It happens to women – especially in large cities where the women may have relocated and don't know anyone. I had a relative that had a similar situation only the guy was married…pretended to marry my pregnant relative.

    • Isis

      I agree. she sounds very thirsty, and like she said she never had any attention before from a man, so him wanting to be around her all the time was like "Oh okay" NO!!

  • MissRae

    Always pay attention to the red flags and do a serious background check on that person , especially in these times, smh

  • Benita

    Oh wow…this is why I ALWAYS investigate to see if a man really is who he says he is. That’s a damn shame. My mom always talks to me like it’s a bad thing to google somebody or do my own little background check but I feel like you never know and this story proves that. I feel like, as long you’re not hacking into personal accounts and the information you find is public record then there is no harm in verifying that someone is who they say they are.

  • Kayla

    See this is the age old advice to never marry someone too quickly. All the red flags were there before, they got married too soon,they met at a club, and he kept pressuring her to get married. If she would have waited all of this would have came to light eventually.

    • Allyce

      Older folks say you need to summer and winter with someone you intend to marry. People change like the seasons and prospective mates need to know that.

      • Kayla

        i know people need to get to know the good and the BAD before they make a lifelong commitment to each other. I guarantee if she knew this before she got married she wouldn't have married him.