Supporting Your Man Financially? Here’s What To Expect
No matter how feminist a man may be, it does something to his self-esteem to depend on his girlfriend for financial support. If your man has fallen on hard times or needs to take a break from his job, you may find yourself supporting your man. Here’s what to expect.
A lot of explaining
Your guy will want to assure you that he’s doing all that he can to get back on his feet and start making income. Any time you find him playing video games or getting a drink with a friend, he’ll explain that he was just waiting for a job application to upload or the drink was a networking thing.
Tell your guy that he doesn’t need to explain himself—that you know he’s responsible and can handle his life. And remind him that you know he needs down time from applying to jobs.
“I’ll pay you back”
Every single time he needs money for something he will insist that he is going to pay you back. He will stress out, explaining when and how he’ll pay you back.
Tell him you’re not stressed
He doesn’t want you stressing about when you’ll see that money again, so assure him that you’re not. Make something up if you have to like, “I just got a bonus so I’m really in no hurry to be repaid.”
House chores galore
He is going to go out of his way to do every single house chore. He is even going to do unnecessary things like clean the silver.
He wants to feel like he’s contributing. He can’t offer money right now, but he can offer his time. So let him.
Embarrassment around your parents
Your guy is going to hate it when your parents bring up money. He’s going to go in over-explaining mode, worried that they think he can’t provide for his daughter.
Change the subject
Don’t let him go there. The more worried he seems, the more worried your parents will be. Just change the subject and show everyone you’re not worried at all about it.
He is going to make excuses as to why he doesn’t want to go to this or that event you two were invited to. It’s all because he doesn’t want you to have to pay.
Give him tough love
The only way you’ll get him to agree to go is if you switch it and say, “Well I wouldn’t have fun without you but I also really want to go. Are you going to deprive me of this?” Let him feel he’s doing you a favor by going along and not the other way around.
He’ll give you his gifts
If a coworker gives him a nice bottle of scotch or a gift card to Starbucks, he’s going to try to give it to you, insisting he owes it to you.
Just share it with him
He needs to feel like he still gives you things so don’t turn down the gift; he’s trying to be a man right now. Just share it with him—share the scotch with him or the Starbucks.
Sex might be weird
When men aren’t financially stable their sex drive drops. Your guy may not feel attractive if he’s been leaning on you for money.
Don’t take it personally
It’s not personal at all. But if you’re really horny and can’t stand to wait, put him in a position to feel like a man—ask him to stand up to some rude guy at work for you or something like that. That’ll get him going.
Shame and comfort
In general, men feel like less of, well, men when they have to depend on their partner for financial support. Let your guy know that you still find him attractive and responsible is going to be an ongoing battle. Don’t get frustrated with him; he’s frustrated enough with himself.