Worst Guests Ever: Signs That You And Your Partner Are Doing Way Too Much During A Hotel Stay

November 6, 2015  |  
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Do you and your man travel a lot? Are you little vacation bunnies? Good for you! But maybe not so good for the hotel staff. Some hotel staff would rather have a group of toddlers to clean up after than a couple in love. Here are signs you might be doing way too much.

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Two beds vs. one

The hotel accidentally gives you a room with two beds instead of king size. They have no other rooms available. You get really bent out of shape instead of trying to push the beds together…

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Condoms everywhere

You could have wrapped used condoms in tissue and thrown them away. You could’ve even just thrown them away, as is. But instead, you tossed them on the floor during post-coital cuddling.

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Loud sex

Other guests keep calling the front desk to complain about all the noise you’re making. The staff has to ask awkwardly that you keep it down.

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You never let housekeeping in

You’re almost always having sex or naked, so you have the “Do Not Disturb” sign permanently affixed to the door. This only terrifies the housekeeping staff, since they’ll have to clean up a mess that has accumulated during your entire stay.

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Nonstop room service 

You don’t want to leave bed, so every meal is room service. The staff can barely reorganize the magazines when you leave without getting ketchup on their hands.

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You don’t dress to get the door

You’re always naked or in your underwear together, and you don’t alter that when room service or housekeeping arrives.

 

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Lube everywhere

You didn’t watch where you put the lube, leaving the poor housekeeping staff to grab sticky door handles and pillow cases.

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Midnight snacks

You get hungry in the middle of the night from all that sex you’re having, and you keep calling the front desk to ask if the kitchen is still open. For the tenth time, no it is not.

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Messy bed

You certainly don’t need to make your bed, but you don’t need to leave the blankets in a pile on the floor either, with dirty underwear hidden inside for the unsuspecting housekeeper to find.

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Ask the front desk for condoms

Have some dignity will ya? The concierge probably would send someone to buy you a pack if you insisted, but they’ll also hate you forever.

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Mini-bar thieves

Desperate for champagne after the stores have closed, you raid the mini-bar, and then swear to the front desk that there weren’t any snacks when you checked in.

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Key coordination

Somehow, anytime you and your man get separated, one of you has both room keys, meaning a staff member always has to let you in the room or make another key.

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Check out late

The hotel can’t very well pick you up out of bed when you’re hungover from sex and wine. So instead, they’re at your mercy, while the new guests who’d like to check in are screaming at them.

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Leaving a huge mess

All you’ve done your entire stay is eat in bed, have sex and drink. So you leave the staff with what looks like the mess hall at a grown-up sleepaway camp; wrappers and bottle caps and crumbs everywhere.

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Fighting

And for those whose trip doesn’t go so well, you’re the couple who is screaming, cursing and causing other guests to call the front desk and complain.

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