Beware of the Over-Age Bachelor!

July 2nd, 2011 - By Rashana A. Hooks

If you thought women were the only ones judged for not getting married or having kids by a certain age think again. Men are equally given the side eye if they are thirty-five and over with no kids, a wife/ex-wife or a baby mother at the least.  The irony of it all is that it’s not society dishing the criticizing this time around, its women.

One would think we would know first hand how if feels to have expectations placed upon you regardless of your personal agenda and be criticized for it. We’ve been the primary target of society’s so called rule book for the last few years. Yet some of us are judging men who have no children or wife with that same book.

Tags:

, , , ,
More from StyleBlazer
More from MommyNoire

Comment Disclaimer

Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN

← Older Comments
Newer Comments →
  • Ms Peach

    the whole thing is guys like this are not a good catch because they just waste your time because they are never going to settle down. I know men like this. They are going to be bachelors forever… thats y they are not a good catch. Fir all the dummies insulting black women and the author of this article.

  • Monica

    I think you guys are taking this article to literal when they speak having a child equaling commitment. As many of you know shaking up is the new "thing," many people can have a committed relationship without being married (ie. Oprah, Goldie Hawn, etc) and some even have children in that relationship. And some of the comments I'm reading are kinda ridiculous, I don't remember the article saying a man with a good job, house, car, education, good moral and no kids is a red flag. I mean are we reading the same article? Or are some of you guys skewing what the article is about. Not to mention this article didn't say anything about Black women or baby mamas? Where the hell is this bashing of black women coming from? What I gathered from the article is that some women felt that some men who didn't have relationship experience may be red flags. But who knows maybe I didn't interpret it right…

    • Urban Romance

      no, you are actually one of the few people commenting who can actually READ and/or COMPREHEND what is in front of you. people are so eager to spit out their non-sensical rantings that they don't bother to actually read what the hell these articles are saying. so sad. if i didn't read the comment section on blogs, i might not have any idea just how unbelievably ignorant people are in this world :(

  • Brodie

    I understand your frustration but I don't consider women who aren't black my competition. I think black women are over the mention of other races to illicit an emotion. THAT is pathetic.

  • NT11

    So what your saying is that white woman and latina woman, etc. may or may not have the same ideals? Could it possibly be a "state of mind" rather than assuming that one race is better than another based upon how people think. There are different types of people and personalities in EVERY culture. Ignorance is when you define or stereotype a specific person (i.e. a black woman) and assume that ALL black women think and act a like. Just like you ASSUME that all white woman and latina woman think a like or will treat you in a better way.

  • blamus

    I’m dating a man in his 50′s; he has a grown daughter, but has never been married. I admit that I had questions as to our future together, but he’s done several right things that indicates a possible future for us:

    1. He made it very clear before we became involved that he’s not afraid of marriage-he was in an on/off relationship for 10 years that he ended for, what seems, a very reasonable reason.

    2. Even though I’ve been clear about not being ready for that level of commitment at this time, he has been open about showing and telling me that he thinks that I’m his future wife.

    3. After significant relationships ended, he spent time alone, assessing what went wrong and determining how he could learn from the situation to become a better mate.

    4. There’s no drama, jealousy, or foolishness.

    He knows that I will want to be married several years in the future. If he starts to hem and haw, I will move on. Until that point, I well enjoy his company.

  • …

    I love how you chastise him for bragging….and then try to out brag him!

    "I had an engineer from Lockheed Martin ask me out yesterday, but an engineer would be a downgrade for me as my current boyfriend is a music producer and my ex is a Houston Rocket." ….hopefully we can just dismiss this as you being 23 and not really knowing any better

    • shay

      DUMB comes in the form of any age ! im just saying

  • commonsense

    i swear to god this website only lower African American women self esteem and put us to blame for the social, stereotypical ridicule we face everyday.

    • aqquippless

      Black women`s CHOICES are the blame for the ridicule they face.Not a website.You can`t have relations with a bum or a thug all your life then look at an older man who is single with no kids and look at him as if HE`S the fool.Maybe life is easier to negotiate when you have less baggage.

  • Me

    I promise people take things waaaaaaay too overboard! The article speaks of older men and doesn’t say every man. I know three men who are older mid to late 30′s with no commitment filled past and I am concerned for them. They never stay with a woman more than 8 or 9 months. A person who has never been in a committed relationship at that age is something to question. It’s a conversation that needs to be had because some men don’t want to commit ever so shouldn’t a woman know that before she decides to date him? I think the kids aspect is irrelevant because it has nothing to do with the man if she decides to keep a child. These things are definitely caution signs that should be taken serious.

  • GoldmanH

    I'm going to keep this short and simple. Every man over 35 that I'VE met who is single, with no ex wife or previous long term girlfriend is weird. Period. And it's not just because they have no proven track record of commitment. I mean, LITERALLY, each of them had some type of serious character flaw. One was seemingly gay. One was CLEARLY abusive. One was White and I found out he was sued by his Black secretary for sexual harassment so I believe he was trying to fulfill some sort of weird fantasy. Another one is all over twitter asking girls out like it's Eharmony.com! Seriously, all I want is a normal man over 35 to prove me wrong.

    • Richard

      What is the one thing that all of the men you have described have in common? Better yet, who is the one person all of the men you have described have in common? Maybe it is….YOU? You lump them in a category but maybe you just attract or are attracted to that particular type of guy for some reason. According to your statement it goes across races so there has to be a common thread…..right?

  • 7lady

    @Candy Yes girl exactly! He so damn angry. You can feel it through the computer. I wouldn’t be surprised if a black woman was cut up and stuffed in black garbage bag RIGHT NOW smh calm down

  • hmmmm

    I agree with this article, women beware! Also, why are most of these "men" in fraternities? These "men" don't love women, they love their BOYS first. They love stringing women along and telling their stories to their BOYS for respect, attention and admiration. Keep it real BOYS.

  • Candy

    The article is about idiots just like you..your an old angry worn out male, and the author is warning young women about your kind.

  • Pink Champaign

    I just wanted to say that we really need to stop generalizing each other based on a handful of thoughts& opinions. It's not fair. The comments that you've read do not represent ALL BLACK WOMEN just like I'm sure your statement doesn't represent the views of all BLACK MEN.

  • Brodie

    Again. Another example of why fathers are so important. You might end up falling for something like ^. Now you might say "but he looks good on paper" but your dad will tell you to look for whats missing, not just whats there. Keeps you from being manipulated out your drawers.

  • keith

    I think Madam Noir is "Another Mad Black Woman." She can't find a man so she sits around and create topics like this one so that Black man and Black Women can be at odd with each other, not marry and be as miserable as he is. SMDH…

  • Tamar

    Come on Madame Noire. Most black men out there do have kids, an ex wife or a babys mother or 5 so if thats an issue for black women then they need to start dating outside their race.I do it and im problem free baby! Haters will hate in 5, 4, 3, 2………………………………………………………

  • BlkMn#1

    Being Responsible, using condoms, not marrying the first woman that says she loves you and establishing a career for yourself is wrong ? I happen to be a black man over the age of 35, who has no kids, has a great career, and wasn’t previously married . Though I’m engaged now, I would not change the path I chose for anyone. It gave me a chance to grow as a person . To understand what’s really important in life, and the will seek a love that is genuine , with a person who has the same goals and asperations that I have . So that when we came together it would be as one . No drama of any baby mama’s to sabotage the relationship because of jealousy . What I’m trying to say is, all men over the age of 35 with no kids and no wife are not bad . Alot of them have observed their friends in messed up relationships and have decided to make good decisions that will not inhibit their future , and by not have kids , and not being married, they have options to do it right when the time is right .

    • SMH

      Cosign!

  • Pingback: Beware Of The Over Age Bachelor

  • team nymphis

    trisha

    You go gurl…

  • Kayla

    Notice how there are pictures of all black men. Madame Noir is trying to turn us against ourselves. The next followup article will be about why it's good to swirl. or 20 things white men are better at in a relationship than black men.

← Older Comments
Newer Comments →