Nothing brings out the ugly in people like family functions—specifically, weddings and funerals.
A Reddit user, who we’ll call “Sam,” turned to the message board for advice regarding his sister-in-law’s forthcoming nuptials. The sister-in-law, who we’ll call “Alice,” is preparing to tie the knot in Milan, Italy. Naturally, she asked her sister, Sam’s wife, to be a bridesmaid. Unfortunately, the trip falls on the weekend of Sam’s 30th birthday and even worse, he’s not invited. Oh yeah, his wife is considering accepting Alice’s bridesmaid invitation. Sam explains:
My wife told me a couple of days ago her sister would be getting married on the weekend of my 30th birthday, on the other side of the world. I will have to stay home, alone, with our toddler for a week taking care of him. Alone. I’m pretty deeply upset she is even considering being a part of this.
Apparently, it’s no surprise to Sam that Alice blacklisted him from attending her wedding because they have never gotten along.
Her sister has always had it out for me since the beginning of our relationship (8yrs). She is a doctor and looks down on any and all people who don’t have MD’s and JD’s. She tried to break apart our relationship in all stages but because my wife and I have a great relationship and her and her sister do not, these attempts have always been brushed off as being sourced in her superficiality.
According to Sam, he’s welcome to join his wife in Italy, but he’ll have to do something to occupy himself during the ceremony because he’s not welcome. And while funding his wife’s trip to Milan would put somewhat of a strain on their finances, it’s not completely impossible. However, it will mean sacrificing his birthday vacation that they planned together.
I’m not invited. I was told I “could” come to Italy but have nothing to do with the wedding aka, take care of the kiddo and generally be alone. No thanks. My wife doesn’t want to fly for 18ish hours alone with our son so I will be home alone with a 2 year old on my 30th birthday. No family or friends in our area (rural) we are a very strong family unit and last year for her 30th birthday we all went to Hawaii. Her going to Milan would be the budget we had planned for my birthday vacation (far more modest- a weekend driving getaway to a NP).
She thinks I’m overreacting and should respect “her family” despite them showing me absolutely none. Am I that wrong to be upset about this?
Is Sam’s wife wrong? What would you do?
