Typically, I’m one for making sure men know where they can and cannot put their hands (and other body parts) when it comes to women, but when some members of our gender take issue with the opposite sex putting their arms around us I find myself, in a word, confused.
Helen Mirren just took her gender equality crusade to a whole new level in an interview with The Telegraph where she had this to say about one public display of affection in particular:
“It annoys me when I see men with an arm slung round their girlfriend’s shoulders. It’s like ownership. Of course, when you’re young, you want the guy to take your hand and look after you.
“But when I see girls being leaned on, I want to say, ‘Tell him to get his damned arm off your shoulder’.”
Helen, I’ma let you finish… but you’re reaching.
Perhaps if this were the 20th century and women weren’t allowed to walk down the street without a male escort (yes, I realize this does still happen in some parts of the world), Mirren’s argument might have more validity. However it’s clear from her language that we’re speaking about one of the least offensive displays of coupledom present in today’s society, one that’s of the “I’m with him/her” ilk one might find on corny throw pillows and towels at TJ Maxx rather than a semblance of the pre- women’s suffrage era, and the fact that someone can take such issue with that to the point that they’re speaking about it in an interview is beyond me.
I’d argue that there’s a bit of necessary ownership in the display on both parts — a symbol that tells potential suitors of both genders “this one’s taken” (so don’t get any ideas). While Mirren clearly views that as a negative, I’d like to think there’s also a sense of security that comes along with this move (we’re doing whatever it is we’re on our way to doing together), comfort (I like this warm body against mine) and intimacy (hey, we’re touching). Mirren also seems to neglect the fact that at any given moment a woman can easily tell her partner to remove his hands and in this day and age, I think you’d be hard-pressed to find a woman not bold enough to do so. If a guy has his arms around a woman’s shoulders, chances are she wants it there.
As cosmopolitan and contemporary as Mirren is in appearance, the actress is clearly showing her age with this blanket statement. In some instances there certainly may be cause to remind a man who puts his arm around you that he doesn’t own you. But to assume every man who puts his arm around the lady he’s with is doing so to stake his claim on her is just as sexist.
