Real Talk: Are You The WORST Couple To Hang Out With?

August 28, 2015  |  
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Ever wonder if you’re the absolute worst couple to hang out with? Chances are if you suspect as much you are. But in case you need a few concrete examples to prove why you and your boo make everyone hate being around you, here they are.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Do you fight in public?

This is a no-no. I don’t care how subtle you think you are about it. You’re not subtle about it. If you arrive at a group hangout with relationship troubles, everybody feels it. You think you’re acting normal, but you’re just dragging the group down.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Do you send someone home?

If you can’t come out as a happy pair, don’t come out at all. Sending one person home mid-hangout because he’s upset ruins the dynamic. Your other couple friends didn’t agree to have a third wheel kind of evening.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Do you drag people into your fight?

Do you ask the other couple, “What do you think? Is he right about this or am I?” Yes. That’s what they wish you were all talking about right now. Definitely not something fun or happy.

 

 

 

 

 

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Do you order plates for two?

If it’s just you and your boo and a third wheel friend, don’t order the appetizer for two! What’s your friend supposed to do?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Do you give relationship advice?

Do you sit shoulder to shoulder with your man, pitying your single friend and giving her advice on relationships? Do you mention how good yours is? Yeah. Your friend hates you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Do you criticize the place?

If you and your guy disagreed on the restaurant and he won, do you spend the whole evening making subtle jabs at the place? You’re ruining the experience for everybody else!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Do you only talk about yourselves?

As a couple, I mean. Do you only talk about the things you’ve accomplished together, like bought a new couch or ran a couples marathon together? People want to know what you’ve been doing as individuals. You’re still individuals, right?

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Do you get too drunk?

Hanging with a super drunk couple is the worst. They either argue, or one person gets too flirty with you and it’s weird, or they try to have sex in the bathroom.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Do you share TMI?

Your friends don’t think it’s super modern and open of you to talk about that thing he does with his tongue. They’re trying to eat fondue right now.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Do you get picky when the bill comes?

Do you start itemizing it, picking apart what that couple got and what you guys got? Just throw down two cards and call it a day.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Do you have tons of inside jokes?

Good. Keep them inside. Your house.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Do you push your agenda?

Do you ask the other couple when they’ll be living together and if they’ve talked about marriage and how many kids they want? Maybe they don’t want any of that. Just because you do doesn’t mean everybody else does.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Do you joke about four ways?

Ew. Don’t be that couple.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Do you exceed a quick peck?

If the moment so moves you, give your partner a quick kiss. But if people can see from your prolonged smooch that you’re just waiting to get home and bang now, the night’s ruined.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Do you consult each other constantly?

Do you turn to your partner before answering any question your friends directly ask you, as if he has to give you permission to answer?

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