The Nice Guy: Is He really losing?

June 23, 2011  |  

Do nice guys finish last or are some of us just dumb (myself included)? We all know the Lauren London’s of the world need a thug in their life and nice guys are more similar to the articulate 2pac than the thug life, gun toting, soldier Pac (gotta love his versatility). I’m not even sure I know what a nice guy is anymore, lately to be a good man you just have to have all your teeth, some education, a decent job and don’t act like Chris Brown (remember when Chrissy Pooh was a nice guy). I’m convinced that some nice guys get the best and last laugh and some dumb guys get that woman we all hear about; she cheats on him, treats him any kind of way, you know the women we all love to hate. But with this being such a popular saying I have to ask is the nice guy/gal finishing last or do they have horrible judgment when it comes to picking a mate?


We’re going to have to highlight a few different categories of the nice guy in order to not over generalize the male species. First we have the pseudo nice guy. Yup, he’s good looking, hard working, educated and loves his momma but he wasn’t always so nice. He ran through his fair share in college and broke enough hearts even if not intentionally. He finally decides to settle down and what do you know, he finally meets his match, Mrs. Unintentional, and she wipes the floor with my brother. All the women who watched it happen curse that woman’s name “how you gonna do a good man like that, there’s barely any left and you’re going to mess that ish up”. But this nice guy didn’t finish last; he simply got what was coming to him. Karma is a —–!

Next we have the stupid nice guy. This brother lacks common sense and glasses because he never sees the trifling bs that comes his way. We call these fellas the “I’m just happy to be here” brothers. They are so insecure and enamored with beautiful women who give them the time of day that they are just happy to be along for the ride. They often find themselves getting cheated on, disrespected verbally and emotionally yet they still want to stick around. Basically, the woman chumps him and one day just decides hey boo “you’re great and all but sayonara” and who wouldn’t leave someone they can’t respect. Now he’s so sick of love songs and all that jazz and the chorus of women come around again about how dope “corny dude” is and how wack the woman was. Nope, the good guy doesn’t finish last; this good guy was just dumb.

Lastly, we have a real nice guy, a good man. A down brother, down for his community, down for empowering his sisters, good job, all his teeth –the works. But the brother was misled. He thought he made the right choice in choosing this woman but she was just putting on a facade. She wasn’t who she was pretending to be and in her pretending he fell in love with her possibility. When she breaks his heart we all feel sad and say “damn another brother scorned by a no good woman”. But fear not, that brother didn’t finish last; he would have finished last had he stayed with someone who was masquerading as someone else. No that brother finished first because he has the opportunity to go out and find his true-life partner, real love.

The same goes for women. Some get done dirty because they have it coming to them. Others make the same poor judgments time and time again. And some of y’all are better off because getting out of a fake relationship gives you the opportunity to be patient and find what you truly are looking for. If we’re nice we might finish last, when we’re good we eventually find what’s meant for us, it just requires some patience.

Follow nativenotes on Twitter or check out some his writings over at Notes of This Native Son

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