75% of Women Wouldn’t Marry an Unemployed Man

70 Comments
June 21, 2011 ‐ By

According to recent study conducted by YourTango and ForbesWoman 75 percent of women would not marry a man who was unemployed. And 65 percent of these women wouldn’t marry if she was unemployed.

With the unemployment as high as it is (9.1 percent), Andrea Miller, founder and CEO of YourTango says “joblessness is an increasingly pervasive issue— especially from women as they consider the fiscal and emotional stability of their romantic future.”

Meghan Casserly, a reporter from ForbesWoman says “A job can make or break the longevity of a relationship and the results of the survey demonstrate just what an important role careers play in romance.”

Do you believe that?

To read more about what women think about the bridge between career and work head over to YourTango.com.

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  • ROYAL

    what ever happen to true love..money is the issue with everything..

  • ROYAL

    typo(black women)

  • grant chill

    They won't marry them but they damn sure still let them in their bed. What's up with that?

  • BrownFavorite

    PREACH PREACH PREACH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are one of the few people on here with some sense. These shallow comments on here tell a negative picture of mostly black women I'm assuming as being only there for you when times are good but will either leave or be totally un-supportive during your time of unemployment. Who needs a fake Fair-weather girl friend like that? This is why sooooooooooo many of you ladies will remain single for a long time. My boy's girl left him because he was laid off through no fault of his own for over a year. He eventually got a new job making a bit less money than before, and he is now rocking with his NEW and VERY attractive girlfriend who met him when he was still in the process of looking for work. Recognizing potential is skill that so many of you "ladies" lack which is good for the brothers on the come up. Out of our way please :-)

  • Nasya

    I couldn't agree with this statement even more

    There will be no more taking care of able bodied grown ass men who should be taking care of themselves. If the economy is a factor, then we can talk

  • CutieReppinNY

    Honey, I'm an accountant so miss me with all that. Everything I have I got on my own, no welfare needed. If you're fine with letting some bum dude live off you, go right ahead. However my FATHER raised me to know that the man should be a provider for his family. My father was never without work and my mother worked by choice. She didn't have to pay bills because my father always said it was his responsibility to take care of us and that made him happy. I understand times have changed, but any man just sitting around leeching off a woman is a BUM, plain and simple. Sorry if I want a man with ambition who does more than "bend my back", how ignorant. With the unemployment rate this high I'm sure you'll have no problem finding your unemployed prince charming, what a loser.

  • datroofhoits

    It is interesting to me that the same women who expect a man to be a provider do not hew to any of the other "traditional" stereotypes, as in the wife being obedient, etc. Well, I have been unemployed in my life, and it has been the people who stuck by me in those downtimes that I appreciate. My wife (who's not black) was completely supportive during my most recent bout (well, actually I have two jobs, I just lost one) and paid what I couldn't until I got that second job back.

    Shallow and superficial. If the shoe fits, wear it.

  • Jimmy Swaggered

    Glad I could make you laugh! Sometimes folks get a little stuffy in here and could use a few jokes :-)

  • Jimmy Swaggered

    HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

    "A bum's dream woman!!" Now that was hilarious.

    ***9% unemployed means 91% of people who want to work have a job***

  • Worldchanger!

    Yup cuz I CAN take care of both of us. Now fresh outta jail, any jail at all that aint from the civil rights movement Hell Naw! But if you falling on hard times, fresh outta college or you can cook, clean, and bend my back. Why not? Most of us as women expect sumover the top bull ish for a man to have and all we need is big butts and smiles. Although I have both, I also hold my own financially, mentally, and physically. So if I meet a man that can stimulate something in me that I need, even though he's jobless, it's not a deal breaker.

    • BrownFavorite

      World Changer – You are a smart woman. Find a man who has good character, a good work ethic, and ambition. Those traits will eventually get him employed and educated somewhere. Most of these women on here talking sheet are not the dime pieces that they think they are nor deserve the man they desire. There are are plenty of good PEOPLE in general who are having a hard time finding work in the economy. Unemployment is 10 in some areas. There are a ton of people with MBA's who are out of work. Are they bums????

      Take me for instance, I consider myself underemployed, but I'm 33 years old, in school to enter into a VERY GOOD career field……. and I'm broke (not 100% but it sure feels like it). Now how many ladies would date me in my current state? Probably not many from reading this post. And that's cool because I wouldn't want to date any of you opportunist anyway. Now when I graduate I'll be making around $80-$100K. I 'll be honest I wouldn't want to date a woman who wasn't down to rock with me during these grind years. It's like a person coming to the table talking about "feed me" after the meal is cooked. Naaaaww, I'd rather the woman who actually helped me peal a few potatoes and cut up the chicken. For richer and for poorer thank you. I love women like you World Changer!. Real Women recognize Real Men. Stay beautiful my dear :-)

  • http://www.facebook.com/lotusengineer Kelley Smith

    It would be very unwise for anyone to think of marriage without a way to support themselves. Would you buy a car? Would you buy a house? NO! That would be stupid.

    A successful marriage requires emotional, mental and financial security on the part of both partners.

    The old saying goes, failure to prepare is failure.

  • Leandra

    I have dated an unemployed guy, infact he was my first boyfriend. He was insecure, ambitionless, jealous and most frightening, he was abusive. I was only 18 when I met him and he was 23. He beat me, told me I was ugly and that the only way I would ever make it through life is through my studies, otherwise there was nothing to love about me.

    I left this man after 4 years of tourment and I vowed from that day on that I would never be with another of his kind again but I did and the same pattern followed. I am not prepared to ever hook up with an unemployed guy and if we are in a relationship, i.e. not married yet and he loses his job and battles to find another one and it affects our relationship then I will leave that relationship but if it happens and I am inside a God annointed marriege I would seek all the help I can find, even if it means he has to downgrade.

    • datroofhoits

      My wife's first husband made six figures. When he died, he left a healthy estate. But he was abusive. (Matter of fact, he was a miserable SOB who drank himself to death and died alone.) Point being, THAT was the reason the relationship failed, not lack of employment.

      By the way, it doesn't matter what you are called, it does matter what you answer to. Believe in yourself, and ugly things said by others will not matter. Believe you are entitled to the best, hold out for it, do not settle. But do not allow yourself to be caught up in the material.

  • Miss_Taken

    I am shocked by two things: 1 that the percentage isn’t higher and 2 how polarized the comment section is.
    I think we should take into account that this study is supposed to be generalized for all women (which is kinda sloppy on their behalf) so, I’m guessing the amount of. AA women that would NOT marry an unemployed man is lower than other groups-i mean really the options are so few that many black women settle, if they ever marry at all.
    Anyway, someone made a great point in distinguishing “unemployed” a temporary problem vs “unemployable” a more permanent problem. Some people really aren’t employable-lack of education, training or maybe even a disability or illness that limits their opportunities. Either way, I may date an educated man on his way into a financially stable profession (like someone fresh out of medical, law or graduate school) but it very irresponsible to get married if a couple is not financially stable. Sorry but loves is not enough-men lie, women lie, numbers don’t and if you think your love and adoration for your partner will put a roof over your head, a floor under your feet, food on the table and your kids through college, then you’re just foolish. Remember that financial problems are the number one precipitant to divorce.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Eletha-Owens/100001810584665 Eletha Owens

      Preach on girl!!!!!!!

    • THEWIFE

      tell it girl!!!!!!!

    • Jimmy Swaggered

      HEY!! I said the same thing you said. But I got lots of thumbs down :-(

      GENDER BIAS!!! LOL!!!!!!!!!!!! :-)

    • datroofhoits

      "Sorry but loves is not enough-men lie, women lie, numbers don't and if you think your love and adoration for your partner will put a roof over your head, a floor under your feet, food on the table and your kids through college, then you're just foolish. Remember that financial problems are the number one precipitant to divorce."

      You are trapped in the material. Love makes the material immaterial. Financial problems ARE the number one reason for divorces, but only when money becomes the be-all, end-all. It cracks me up that a people who have not had for so long are SO preoccupied with what they've never had much of, which is money.

      Find true love, someone who will stick with you through the hard times, then you'll know what I am talking about. It's easy to stay with someone through the easy times, COMMITMENT means you are down with them "for better or for worse." And yeah, if you can't keep that vow, don't make it.

  • Virgo74

    Financial stability is important in any relationship.

  • Nki

    I think with this economy and if I was with a man who lost him job and he was still looking for work but was unable to find anything and we were already in plans to wed I would still marry him. I would just wait until we both were financialy stable before we wed. But I still would.

  • just another guy

    What about dating while he is unemployed? I am in college(graduating in less than a year, in a hard but well paid major), no job, live with the parents and I am 21. Should I let it hinder my ability to date? I have been reluctant to date around a lot because it is not something I cant afford to at the moment and girls won't just be okay with not being taking places etc……When I do get a job, my own place I will most likely be playing the field.

  • STARO

    Gotta add: there is dating differential for unemployed women v. and unemployed man. When I was unemployed I dated, but at an advantage because I'm a woman and not expected to contribute financially to the courtship. Brothers don't usually have that advantage.

    • InnocentTruth

      Sike! If you didn't contribute I would leave you in the house. Broke broads get no love.

      • STARO

        Wouldn't be caught with a misognist who spends days and nights trolling sites targeted for black women. Yes, you are quite pathetic. It's sad really . . . off your meds, but still on your computer. Keep pecking away . . . and slowly. Clearly it's all you have – – A somber, but innocent truth.,

    • Lacville-79

      You are absolutely right.

  • SMHBlkman

    @ John – EXACTLY! I had very similar situation happen to me. I just got out of law school and was looking for a job, and she was looking for jobs as well, though she had a BS. She went pretty cold, pretty quickly because of my job situation, but as soon as I got my corporate gig came in she tried to get back in and act like she was all about it. Yeah… too late.

    If we had established something prior to that then it might have gone somewhere, but why would I want someone who only wants to be there when I'm shining?

    • grey eyed girl

      You did the right thing and yes; I am a black woman. You must be able to bask in the sun and weather the storms together.

    • SMHBlkman

      Thanks!

  • homie

    Black women don't really have a selection of men to marry anyway. Personally I would wait till my money was secure before marrying.

  • STARO

    Don't think i would pursue a romantic relationship with that kind economic uncertainty (besides . . . what decent man would try to pursue a woman without $$$ means???) I would, however, be cool with a platonic relationship. Why not build the potential relationship on a friendship first, you might have a better chance at longevity while offering authentic encouragement to a do-right brother a little down on his luck!

  • John

    I was introduced to a young woman six months ago by a mutual friend. I had being out work for about a year. She also had being out of work. I have an MBA and have had steady employment until the recent job loss. She is a newly minted Attorney and I think had just worked briefly before she was laid off. After our first meeting, she became evasive. Her friend, who had introduced us told me it was because I was out of work. But what about her. She is out of work too. I was looking beyond her ability to find work because I felt it is only a temporary set-back. She on the other hand was stuck in the fact that I wasn't working at the time. Today I have a job and I'm doing fine. What does that say about her character? If I had gone into a relationship with her, is it likely she would bail at the first sign of say a job loss? I think so.

  • Jimmy Swaggered

    I know right!!! If you're not married to the dude/chick, you don't owe them a damn thang!

    Like my late grandaddy Ol' Man Swaggered used to say, "it's just as much work loving a broke woman as it is loving a paid woman". And that goes for men too!

    Oh grandad, I miss your smell of Aqua Velva, Newports, and Jack Daniels….

  • GailS

    I wouldn't marry a man who would get married without a job. What kind of man wants to get married and he doesn't have a way of taking care of himself? I wouldn't get married if I couldn't take care of myself. We need to be able to take care of ourselves before we can take care of each other.

    • Torethamaliyah

      Makes all the sense in the world. Self love then shared love.

  • http://madamenoire caramela aka butterscotch

    i would draw the line at a man who DIDN’T want to work.a man who’s working towards something,and shows ambition,we’re good to go,like the man i’m with now.

  • Jimmy Swaggered

    Marrying someone without stable finances is just stupid. Unemployment is at 9%. Ok… but that also means that amongst people who want to work, 91% have a job!!! Go marry someone in the 91% genius!! LOL!! And marrying someone who's not only unemployed, but also unemployable (felons, morons, etc.) is beyond stupid!!

    My gooodness… it's amazing this topic is even debatable! No wonder so many black families are broke…

    Unrelated Sidenote: I had a dream last night that I died and me and Nate Dogg both banged Aaliyah in heaven, it was great! I woke up and told my Mrs. Swaggered. We laughed about it and then she told me she had a dream about banging Sticky Fingaz from Onyx. Now that's just wrong…

    • Jimmy Swaggered

      WOW!!! I'm amazed at the number of 'thumbs down'!! I can't believe THIS many people DISAGREE that marrying an unemployed person is flat out stupid!! It IS stupid. Do the math!! HAHAHA!

    • Jimmy Swaggered

      Details, my good man, simply details!!!

    • Jimmy Swaggered

      Details, my good man, simply details!!

  • Candle

    yeah i wouldn't marry one either…
    …FINALLY!! got to quit my job after 5 years..i just wanna share this with everybody… http://goo.gl/mIsVf it ain't as hard as you think

  • L-Boogie

    I agree with Prissy and Wise One. There are moments in which a man may need to lean on his woman that does not make him less than a man. If anything it shows that he is able to change with the times and be flexible which is an endearing quality; however, chronic unemployment is not the ish. If a man cannot keep a job that is an indication that he cannot keep his house in order.

    • Prissy

      VERY good points to make! I especially love the last one..

  • SMHBlkman

    A distinction needs to be made between unemployed and unemployable. Unemployed is a short term problem, unemployable is a long-term condition.

    Too often women want to wait for a man that has fully realized his goals, rather than trying to seek a man that has potential, and drive, and other intagibles that lead to an employable man and eventually a successful man. That's a short-sighted strategy.

    • wise one

      i hear ya!

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Eletha-Owens/100001810584665 Eletha Owens

      Preach on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • BrownFavorite

      this is the first intelligent comment that I've read on here thus far. Finally a person with some sense.

  • Darkesthourglass

    Surprised the percentage isn’t higher. I guess it also depends on what he’s doing when he’s not working. Is he desparately looking for a job or just laying around doing nothing. If you’re out working your ass off and he’s doing nothing then it can become frustrating. He needs a job AND a car long before that whole marriage talk.

    • Leandra

      I sooooo feel you! It should be ATLEAST 100 % :)

  • Felicia

    No. I wouldn’t get married if I was unemployed. Plus I feel like if I marry an unemployed man, I can’t complain if he never gets a job. I know a couple of women who married men with no jobs and complain because he still doesn’t have a job. WTHeazy?

  • Rosanna

    I'm in that 75% and wouldn't have it any other way. I could be friends with an unemployed man. But, a husband is supposed to be a provider. If he doesn't have a job in the beginning, how do I know that won't be a pattern? It's different if he loses his job years after we're married. Then, of course, i would stay. But, I WOULD NOT marry an unemployed man. I have a job, you can get one, too!

  • Rosanna

    Why is an unemployed MAN who has made no official commitment to you living with you? That's YOUR fault.

  • InnocentTruthIsBack

    Seek2027, you know damn well that 75% of those women fully expect a man to marry them even if they are unemployed. I wouldn't marry a woman if she was underemployed. I maintain the same standards as women do. I refuse to date women if they are:

    1) Broke
    2) uneducated
    3) Overweight
    4) Bad Credit
    5) Unemployed

    If they can make it past my list maybe we can talk.

    • http://www.facebook.com/lotusengineer Kelley Smith

      You Sir, are very intelligent.

    • InnocentTruthIsBack

      You may have made it past the first few but I failed to mentioned that she must look good also. This is where you fail!
      And what mistakes did I make?

    • shelly

      YOU MUST MAN..it's ok to come out the closet

    • TYLSOL

      So you would take Hugh Hefner ?

  • wise one

    if it's chronic unemployment then that's a no. if he is unemployed because of the economy then yes .but here's another thing, what is he doing while he is unemployed? you'll find most responsible, proactive men will find any other job (even if it's a minimum wage job) , part-time even just to try and meet bills and not sit around doing nothing.if he can't find anything like that then that's ok.

    • STARO

      So true, the devil finds time for idle hands . . . like calling and texting his gainfully employed woman every 15 minutes.

    • Nasya

      I agree a job is better than no job at all. Some people have become so biggity in what type of work they will or will not do. I have held various jobs and not all were glamorous.

  • InnocentTruthIsBack

    You already have shown that you don't believe in for rich or poorer. Don't expect a ring.

    • ITIS

      I am a gentlemen.

  • Jazz

    these articles aren't printable. why not??

    • grey eyed girl

      She is right, if not printed; so what. create your own! with marketable skills it is possible. if you are unskilled and unemployed and not willing to learn for the better, then you are unsuitable for me to even speak to much less date, love and marry.

  • http://www.beyondblackwhite.com Christelyn

    If he's in medical school, law school or mba school, then heck-to-the-yeah. Otherwise, I don't need another kid to raise.

    • SMHBlkman

      The job market has had a huge impact on job opportunities for those coming our of professional schools. So he may get a business or law degree and still not have a job. Then what?

      • http://www.beyondblackwhite.com Christelyn

        He has marketable skills, and if he can't find a job, he can work for himself. Any of the jobs listed will allow for that.

        • SMHBlkman

          @ keane Completely co-sign. Med school is pretty much a lock, but business school and law school is not a guarantee to success the way it was 10, 20 or 30 years ago. I got out of law school the same time as you, and it took me a minute to get my bearings as well.

  • seek2027

    True i agree and the carzy other thing is 75% of woman will not marry an unemplyoed man but i bet that if those same 75% of woman didnt have a job they would expect for a man to marry them

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