15 Things Couples Should Do When Arguing

August 4, 2015  |  
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There will be times in your relationship when things are great and times when you likely want to kill each other. That’s OK as long as you know how to take the good with the bad. Here are a few pointers on what couples should do when arguing.

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Go to your separate corners

“No one puts baby in a corner.”

Guess what, today I did.

At some point you need to call a timeout from your arguing so you can difuse. Spend a little time apart as you don’t want to keep going jab for jab.

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Find something relaxing to do

There’s nothing quite like being in your feelings that can mess up your entire day. A good way to bring things back to a peaceful level is to find something relaxing to do. Use this alone time do something that pleases you.

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Jot down your frustrations

It can be very hard trying to get your point across in the heat of a battle. A good way to focus on your message is to write it down.

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Remember respect

If you find it easy to berate the person you claim to love, you might want to look again at your commitment to the relationship. Yes, they will get on your nerves and possibly deserve a smack upside the head, but never become too disrespectful. After all, you do still love them.

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Stay off social media

“My man ain’t s#$%!” Well there’s a good way to end a relationship. Even though drama splattered on social media is pretty juicy from a distance, it’s not the platform for you to air your dirty laundry.

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Put a limit on your “timeout”

Sooner or later you’ll need to face your partner. It’s OK if you need a few hours or half the day to yourself. Just make sure you two come back together eventually.

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Don’t rush to speak

Have you ever heard the expression, be quick to listen and slow to speak? Yeah, there’s a reason why it’s popular. You’ll have your chance to say what you want, but for now, don’t be so quick to rip him a new one. Do your best to listen.

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Stay away from “you”

If you’ve ever been to a marital conference or counseling, one thing they tell you is to watch the blame game. It’s very easy to point fingers and go on a “you did this” rant. That’s counterproductive. Instead, try to flip it as something you both can work on to make your relationship better. When folks feel less attacked, they’re more willing to listen.

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Lead with a positive

My, how a comment can turn a situation from bad to good. Before you break down your long list of disappointments, do try to throw in something positive from time to time.

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Stay off your gadgets

“Did you hear what I said?” Consider it a disrespectful play if you can’t give your love the undivided attention they deserve to repair things.

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Look for a resolution

Even if it’s agree to disagree, you need to come to some sort of closure about the matter at hand. How can you end things?

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Forgive and let live

How can you really forgive someone if you’re constantly throwing what they did back in their face? Once the matter is squashed, don’t bring it up again.

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Don’t go to bed angry

Obviously, there are times when your disagreement is going to drag out. Try your best not to go to bed angry — or at the very least, sleep on the same mattress.

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Keep your business your own

It’s one thing to speak to your bestie about your behavior, but a completely different story to share the intimate details to friends and even family. At the end of the day, your relationship is your own. The more you share with others, the more they feel entitled to interject.

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Give that make-up sex a try

No, seriously. As much frustration as you felt being in your feelings, intimacy with your partner is a great way to release it.

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