I Like Big Naps And I Cannot Lie!

September 16, 2014  |  

I don’t know how my parents ever did it, to be honest.

I don’t remember my mom or my dad ever taking a nap back in the days. I will be the first to admit that my parents are cut from a completely different cloth than I am. They were raised and reared in an era where grown men’s handshakes were like vice grips and women’s work was never done. They came from the dirt – however fertile it was – to build a great life for themselves and their children. However…I never saw them take a nap.

I, on the other hand, find myself taking naps in ever-increasing increments. Over the weekend, however, it hit me hard. I had to take a nap. I jetted out of town so my daughter could catch up with her god brothers (my godsons) and I could watch the Floyd Mayweather fight with the fellas. Came back and almost immediately went to a birthday party for one of her friends in North Jersey. By the time I got home, the sun had not even fallen, and I decided to watch some “Sons of Anarchy,” a show that demands my full attention normally.

I don’t know what happened, but I was dozing before I could even watch the show. So, I turned off the show, thinking it was the show’s fault and I fell asleep on the second show too. My daughter seized the moment too. She made her own lunch and then, in my groggy state, asked if she could pack a birthday cupcake with it. I agreed verbally, but my brain wasn’t so sure about the sugary delight.

After a while, I popped up and worked well into the wee hours of the morning, a normal routine.

Back to the naps…

I admit it: I TAKE NAPS!

This nap was special because my body imposed its will on me. Normally, I take naps like cities take scheduled power outages from your local electric company. My daughter is getting older and the time we have together is far more complicated. There is running around for everything from sports to food to play dates with her friends to miscellaneous fun. And then there’s the daily routine of hour-long showers and homework that is slowly exceeding my intelligence threshold.

As a napologist, my naps take on various forms, to keep it all the way real. Here are a few.


1) The Fatigue Nap.

The first form of nap is actually the rarest. As I explained before, I was just tired from a lot of traveling, late nights and kid-related activity.

2) The Stress Nap.

The stress nap is the least discussed nap, but one that people employ on the low. I am fortunate enough to have the sort of life that allows me to take a nap whenever I feel like I am getting overwhelmed. Quick nap. I wake up fully charged on the mental side.

3) The Meditation Nap.

I don’t meditate not normal practitioners do. They sit with their legs crossed and their palms up or something, all respect due. I’ve tried that and all I did was go to sleep. So, what did I do? I believe I invented the meditation nap. This nap is a semi-conscious state where I think to myself for the explicit reason to gain mental clarity. I sort through life problems, analyze myself or other matters. I am sure somebody else has already invented this, but I created it for me.

4) The Getaway Nap.

The Getaway Nap is similar to The Stress Nap, except you don’t have to be stressed per se. You just may want a mini-vacation or to have a nice little dream.

Naps aren’t for everybody and they definitely aren’t just for kids of older folks. Similarly. they can indicate bigger woes in your life, such as depression. Also, try to keep your nap 30 minutes and under, even though I go as long as an hour. Be careful who you tell about your naps. Some people will try to demean you or call you lazy. Tell those people to step off and you do what you need to do to feel great!

PS: I’m almost certain my parents slipped a nap in here and there, but they were just more strategic with it. I let my daughter know, straight up, “You wear me out!” And with that, I am off to take a nap. Writing this was exhausting!

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