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Dear Taleema,

To be direct and to the point. I have been happily married for five years to an awesome, loving man. He informs me recently that for his birthday he wants a threesome! We already have a very energetic and passionate love life, we are not swingers nor do we have an open relationship… but we know how have a good time and try new things. To be honest I was a little surprised at the request. I told him to give me some time and I would get back to him. We have a great relationship and while I’m somewhat open, I’m still a little old school too (i.e. no sharing!) I’msitting on the fence and wondering… what’s a girl to do?

2’s Company is 3 a Crowd?

Taleema Talks: My Husband Wants A Threesome For His Birthday, Is Three a Crowd?

 

Dear Mrs. 2’s Company is 3 a Crowd?,

I’ve heard it said that variety is the spice of life. I say be careful what spice you pull off the shelf. If you’re not a fan of spicy food stay away from Jerk seasonings and crushed red peppers. Life is about choices and when making choices it is always wise to have all the necessary information, so you can make a wise decision. The first thing I would do is have a serious and in depth conversation with my husband. A few questions I would ask are:

• Why does he want to have this type of experience? (knowing intent and reason will help to give you a clearer perspective)

• Has he ever had a threesome before?

• Is this something he wants to do once?

• Does he have any one in mind? How would y’all go about choosing a person?

What are the boundaries? (Certain acts that are shared only between you two, things you are comfortable and uncomfortable doing)

• What are the expectations post threesome experience?

Take your time analyzing and weighing the Pros and Cons. I am confident that if you two have an HONEST and NONJUDGMENTAL conversation you can come up with a decision you can both live with. If you talked to any of your close girlfriends you probably heard anything from – HELL TO THE NOOOOOOOOO!!!!! to WHY NOT, YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE!!! This is a big step not only physically, but emotionally and mentally as well. A few things I would let marinate on before making that final decision would be:

Can I handle seeing my husband intimate with another person?

• Do I feel comfortable touching or being touched by someone other than my spouse?

• What would I do if my husband and the other person had more chemistry than us?

You know the mechanics of your marriage, your temperament and relationship better than anybody else. Make sure this decision is one you can live with. May the force be with you!!!!

Taleema is a proud mother of 3 beautiful girls, an Early Childhood Expert with over 18 yrs experience, and a woman who is passionate about promoting positive change and Cultivating Character in a world that is quickly forgetting those principles exist. 

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