My mother asked me the other day when did I plan to get married. With a somewhat cynical snicker, I informed her that it’s not that easy to simply ‘plan’ when I would be getting married. Somewhat jokingly she added, ‘well, are you even going to get married?’ She laughed. I didn’t. Because suddenly reality set in. What if I never got married? Would my life really be that unfulfilling if I never pronounced those two words that suddenly made someone my lifelong partner?
If it were that easy and we could all plan when and how we would get married, most of us would be walking down the aisle sometime in our near futures (for some tomorrow would be a preference); but if we chose to listen to the statistics that suggest black women and marriage are as scarce as black sitcoms on television, then many of our futures would be just the opposite. Still, for all of the millions of women who are discouraged by the stats, would being single forever really be such a curse? Who says never getting married has to be equivalent to a death sentence?
The world is built around love. Even the most selfish, superficial people do things to gain acceptance or receive love. With that being said, who doesn’t want a significant other to love and feel that love in return? It’s only natural that humans, especially women, yearn for love and affection; but what happens if that love doesn’t come in the package of a man (preferably an Idris Elba) ready to sweep you off your feet? Would you be just as satisfied receiving love from other sources?
Love in the form of family, friends, and even self-love are just as important as receiving love from a man. The only unfortunate thing is you may not be able to curl up with it at night; but that doesn’t necessarily mean you can’t enjoy your life in spite of.
Some women don’t mind being single, at the moment; but it’s a dreary notion to consider being single forever. While the statistics are enough to bring you down from your ‘Prince Charming’ dreams, they still shouldn’t deter you from having hope in finding love. Still, there is a strong possibility that some women won’t ever get married, some by choice, and others by force; but life still has to be lived; and just to reiterate at the risk of sound like a broken record, the single life doesn’t have to be that bad.
Being single doesn’t mean you won’t date or meet new people. It doesn’t mean you won’t receive love at all; it doesn’t even mean that you sit at home lonely watching old love films pretending the lady in love was you. It simply means that you aren’t in a committed relationship with a man; and maybe this isn’t a preference but it doesn’t have to determine how fulfilling we consider our lives.
The key to enjoying the single life is to focus on the things that you do have and ensure that you enjoy them, instead of dwelling on the man that you don’t have. Respectfully, I know it’s easier said than done but for the sake of your sanity and happiness, at least give it a try.
For all of us who want to walk down the aisle, hopefully enjoying the single life is only temporary; but just in case we become one of those unmarried statistics that the media loves to highlight, would being an eternal bachelorette really be that bad?