8 Signs That You’ve Outgrown Your Friends

June 8, 2011 ‐ By

As nice as it is to have friends, and lots of them, the older you get, the more likely the number of girlfriends you have will decrease substantially. As one of my good friends pointed out, the older you get, the less willing you are to hold onto so-called friendships that breed drama or offer you nothing. But a lot of the time, you still go out of your way to salvage messy relationships for a variety of reasons: you’ve known the individual for a long time, they’ve got issues, they have good intentions, and so on and so forth, when in reality, you need to move forward for sanity’s sake. Some people naturally grow apart, and other friendships just straight up fall apart, either way, you need to know when to let go. Here are some signs to let you know when it might be time to let that friendship you’re single-handedly carrying like baggage run its course. And if any of this sounds like things you do, you might want to check yourself.

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  • SpazZTRoN64

    i have only one friend i can trust.Before 8th grade began i thought my friends became more mature(like the ones from other classes)and that there wouldnt be mayhem in the class like it was for the last 7 YEARS,and i was and still am the biggest victim.I was so wrong,they didnt change at all,acting very childish,showing no remorse and expecting me to calm down and constantly telling me that i am the problem.With not-so-childish friends i can take the mature approach and handle problems easily,but not with guys like this.I can really only blame myself for picking the wrong company,and now im stuck with them.Students cant switch classes.

  • angela

    Well I want to shake some of those same friends off found out that I don’t really like too much friends

  • Pingback: 8 Signs That You Should Say Buh Bye To So Called “Friends” | MommyBlog0627()

  • Annie

    You forgot to mention the friend that only wants to be friends while they're single, the minute they meet a guy, it's C-ya, you don'y hear from them for weeks or months at a time, until things start getting rocky in their "Relationship" one of my so called close friends has done this at least three times. Finally told her, it's unacceptable and that I'm nobody's go to friend, not to call me until she grows up and realizes the meaning of friendship. I have never forsaken my friends to appease a man and never will,It shows a major flaw in character to not value your friendships. In the past few years I've been cleaning house the past few years, and have narrowed it down to my good friends only. No need for energy vampire's to apply… Love and respect yourself and demand the same from others, life is too short for anything else!

  • Mrs. Pancake

    Reading this has made me realize I, now, have almost no friends I can relate to. Most of them just tell me what they're doing and what's happening. Whenever I speak to a friend, it's almost awkward enough to say, "Wow dude, let's talk about something else instead." I feel depressed and empty on the inside as if I don't matter anymore since I was once new and now just getting too old to hang out..

  • royal

    This article is so true, I have a best friend that i grew up with since middle school, she has a kid now…. now she nuts she gets mad cause i do nto want to babysit. I work 5 days a week i have my own life but she cant see that. she complains about how miserable she is and that she cant find a job ectttt.. she always calls me when she wants something.. and then she ghost..wtf

  • just another guy

    Outgrowing your friends is just part of life, I don't talk to most people I went to high school with and I graduated in 2007. All my current friends I met in college and I am pretty sure the same will happen. You will keep in contact with a few but eventually you won't have much in common to talk about. Also when I do decide to settle down, have kids and get married, I will have way too much to do to have a lot of friends. Just how life works.

  • Peridot83

    This article was right on time. Thank you so much. I will be evaluating some "friendships".

  • Laura strait caligiuri

    It’s bases, not basis. So hard to take an article seriously (even a fluff piece like this) when it makes no sense

  • Realizing that you're growing apart is one thing, but you can also talk about it to see if anything changes and the friendship can be salvaged. If nothing changes, then I think it's healthy for you and your friend to go your separate ways. Who knows! Maybe you just needed time apart so that you can grow together in the long run. That's happened to me before.

  • im so going through this right now….

    • Jacara Fatin

      Me too. Its such a harsh reality to have to come to terms with. SMH.

  • nursedred

    Why is it that women will put up with so much from a man but if a girlfriend of yours isn’t perfect then its time to let her go? ive had a friend since i was 11 years old drop me because her new man told her to. Unless that girl.betrayed you or hurt you keep your friends even if yall haven’t spoken in a while don’t have an unfriend talk. You might be shooting yourself in the foot. That friend who dropped me came back 2 years later asking for advise on how to get her life back on track after that guy left her. Yes I helped her because that’s what friends do

    • noone

      I feel the exact same. I have been friends with this one girl since I was 15, we did everything together, she even lived with me for a time. We both had our first children at around the same time, so they have been friends since birth. Then I introduced her to this guy I work with. They got married. Me and him had a falling out so he tells her not to be friends with me. After 15 years together as best friends. She drops me just like that. And won't let her daughter call mine…Needless to say since she hurt my child I won't be taking her back when things go south between them.

      • ROYAL


    • Michele

      I don't recall the article saying to drop a friend because your man told you to. In your case you would be the good friend and this "friend" yours would be categorized as selish amongst other things. She doesn't deserve you.

    • ROYAL


  • myownbff

    Excellent article. I must say, I am blessed to still have a handful of friends from elementary school, a handful from junior high, and 1 from high school that whenever we get together it's as though time has not stopped. We love and encourage one another and enjoy seeing each other happy. We are very upfront with one another, and if we do have a disagreement, it is safe to say that we will go to that said person and not use it as a way to start gossip. I love them to pieces and consider them family. With that said, I'm sad to say that it's my siblings with the exception of some, that were described in the above article:(

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  • BigMitch

    This article is pure bu11$hit. All it does is allow people to look at others and criticize them for petty reasons. At some point you must as an adult, start to look in mirror for the source of and answer to your problems. Like my man Corey Holcolmb said "the problem is YOU"!

    • Yup

      yeah this writer seems like a real PIA high maintenance friend. I think most people know that as we grow friendships at the immature levels change. I don't see it as outgrowing but that we're still friends who took different paths. When I see those old friends I can pick up where we left off.

  • All true

  • Xena Lowery

    I agree there is a friendship I have been trying to shake for a while and the person fits in more than one of the situations. But he's a leech so he's trying to keep me around for his emotional tangents.

  • MissJai

    I understand EXACTLY how u feel. I have no close high school friends!

  • MissRae

    It is better to have a few close friends than a lot of "friends" . Choose them wisely

    • guest

      true. all i need is 3 or 4 to be in my life and i'm a happy camper…. too much friends means too much problems