“The masculine side of love is ‘I love you.’ Love’s feminine quality is ‘I am waiting for you. I am longing for you.’ ” -Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee of Oprah Winfrey’s “Super Soul Sunday”
It was a private “Goddess in Love” group in my apartment. We passed around a rock as a talking stick, meaning whoever had the rock had the floor. A woman confessed that she was “sick and tired of being sick and tired.” Another co-signed. Each told a different version of the superwoman syndrome story: burning the candle at both ends, never feeling like you’re enough, caught up in trying to get “there” and then feeling lonely and like an impostor when achieving success.
As a recovering workaholic and Passionate Living Coach, I completely understand. I grew up believing that the only way to be loved was through achievement. Many of my friends also thought that the only way to be accepted is by having the right picture of perfection.
It was over 12 years ago when I started doing work that affirms goddess energy with my empowerment workshop play, “Goddess City.” Of course, my feminist education frowned on the gender essentialism that had been used to keep women small. Unfortunately, we were also not to acknowledge any way that women are different from men.
Our mothers taught us that in order to get ahead we had to out-man anyone else and rightfully so. Whether they used the word feminism or not, we often saw these strong women playing mother and father – even when there was a father figure in the household. We were taught to hate womanhood, our “cursed” bodies and to be suspicious of other women.
SACRED FEMININE ENERGY 101: Frequently Asked Questions
1. What does sacred feminine wisdom have to do with my love life?
A woman who has activated her feminine energy is irresistible and magnetized to her desires.
The laws of attraction in relationships work with polarity, just like a magnet. All of us have masculine and feminine energy within us. Just like there’s the divine feminine, there’s the divine masculine. The feminine desires to be loved and the masculine desires to love.
You are either a more masculine energy or a feminine energy woman. This works for same-gender loving couples as well. If you are standing more in your masculine energy, then you need your compliment or exact opposite energy partner to have a balanced relationship and steamy intimate life.
2. So why don’t we already know this?
Our mothers couldn’t teach us the lost power of feminine energy and truly embracing ourselves if they didn’t know it. The patriarchal world values masculine energy traits such as achievement, warrior spirit and linear thinking. This may leave us successful in the workplace but broken down and burned out in the rest of our lives; yearning for a balance or a sacred feminine that we barely remember exists.
3. I thought feminism made us all equal. So what’s all of this masculine/feminine crap?
Pithy ads that reduce our feminine essence to a body part like “Hail to the V” or comical representations like the horny “inner goddess” of “50 Shades of Gray” leave us giggling or angry but still unsatisfied. It’s enough to make the average woman say there is no such thing as “vagina power” or the sacred feminine. After all, it can sound like a crock of B.S. when we haven’t been taught to value our bodies or ourselves.
We’ll be exploring these more in the coming weeks as we continue our Love School lessons in love, dating, relationships, the single life, marriage, break ups and sexuality.
4. What is feminine energy?
Whether you’re a man or woman, your sexual essence can be either masculine or feminine or rarely, neutral. Feminine energy is intuitive, receptive, process-oriented, creatively unstructured, and attracting, like a negatively charged magnet. Masculine energy is assertive, directed, focused, goal-oriented.
The feminine yin wants to be filled up. The masculine yang wants to be emptied. Men crave freedom because masculine energy needs the edge or the thrill of experiencing the feeling of death – whether through games, sports, competition whatever. We crave connection.
We all have both the divine feminine and the awakened masculine within us. This is not about stereotypes. This is about magnetism and duality. On a basic physiological level, our bodies are designed to receive. Male bodies are designed to give and be outward thrusting. A woman centered in her divine feminine power is radiant, vibrant and attracting. This is irresistible to masculine energy.
5. So once and for all is my yoni somehow magical?
Well yes and no. No, we are not just a body part, but yes, your sacred feminine power is real. There is also sacred masculine energy. This has nothing to do with traditionally marketed ideas of femininity or masculinity. Masculine doing energy is not superior to feminine feeling energy.
6. So what exactly is punany power and how can I access it?
We receive all kinds of conflicting advice: “He’s Just Not That Into You,” “Think Like a Man” “Act Like a Lady” but “Men Love Bitches.” We wouldn’t be so confused if we knew that the answer begins right within our own bodies.
Divine feminine power is the mojo that creates life. However, (for those who choose to procreate) we don’t give birth alone. The female egg has to be fertilized by the male – even in a test tube. We forget this fact of nature when we’re screaming, “I don’t need anybody else!”
7. How do you access your feminine power?
That’s next week’s lesson. From opening your sensual sacral chakra to the mysteries of self pleasure, you won’t want to miss it!
THIS WEEK’S HOMEWORK
Complete these questions in a notebook. You may want to form a Love School Playgroup with your friends to do these assignments.
Take 5 deep, cleansing breaths to get centered and begin.
1. What did the mother figures in your life teach you about being a woman?
2. Which of these beliefs have been helpful and which would you like to release?
3. Where are you a masculine energy woman?
4. Where are you a feminine energy woman?
5. How can you embrace your feminine power more?
MY VIDEO RESOURCE LIST
What is Emotional Freedom Technique?
Love & Spirituality with Carmen Harra
Lessons in Dating Out of the Box
Activate Your Inner Sex Goddess
PREVIOUS LOVE LESSONS
