What’s Your “Likeability” Rating?

January 7, 2013  |  

Everyone wants to be liked in one facet or another. As a child you learn that it’s better to be embraced by others than to be ostracized and left out and this desire doesn’t necessarily change as we get older. Instead, our reasons for want to be liked become much different. If you’re a business owner, politician, or in another position of power that depends on public opinion, your “likeability” matters.

Can you imagine being Obama and waking up to read headlines stating that the number of people that like you has dropped significantly overnight? I would be mortified constantly trying to figure out what I had done to piss everyone off in my sleep. But whether you’re a public figure or a stay at home mom running for president of the PTA, you should know there is a psychology behind being liked.

When you are introduced to someone, their body language and the way they interact with you upon that initial intro forms your opinion of them straight away. That being said, it’s important to be aware of what you’re giving off to the people you meet in your life.

Below are some things that very well-liked people do in order to make a good impression:

They avoid power poses: Self-confidence can be taken the wrong way and so it’s best to err on the side of neutrality when it comes to the firm hand shake and perfect posture.

They use touch casually: By touching someone you can tell them everything they need or want to know about how you feel about them. Touch is a very powerful thing even when it’s practiced in a non-sexual manner.

They’ve mastered SJJ a.k.a. social jiu-jitsu: People who are adept at this are able to effortlessly and nonverbally encourage people to talk openly about themselves. It’s a way to show someone that you’re interested in what they have to say and who they are. We all want to be considered important and valuable.

Keep it real: A genuine nature generally wins out over false intentions. Even animals can sense when someone or something means them harm and so people smell b.s. a mile away. Remember, life isn’t always a competition. If someone happens to be better at something than you, congratulate them and praise their successes. It’s ok to be impressed and vulnerability in small doses can be an asset.

They don’t ask for anything: Don’t you get tired of being asked to help put someone on or to connect this person to that person? You don’t want to get the reputation of always wanting something from people. Trying helping someone else for once and remember there’s a place and time for networking.

They’re cognizant of how they bid someone farewell: Put all of the above techniques together to come up with your very own signature “parting” strategy. The closing is just as important as the opening so leave them with something to remember. Be yourself and let your good intentions shine through.


Sid Powell is the NAACP-nominated screenplay writer of ‘Somebody’s Child’, a mother of two, and the owner of SIDPo Productions. Read more about how SIDPo Productions is ‘Changing Everything’ at http://www.sidpoproductions.com.

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