Does it seem as though you and your loving mate are at each others throats more than normal? Your fuse is short and you have no patience for the things he normally says or does that bug the $*&^ out of you. Don’t worry, you’re not imagining things, the hustle and bustle can easily turn from yuletide cheer to a screaming match that ends in doors slamming and a lonely night on the couch. I think what we want men to understand is that we are under an unbelievable amount of pressure at this time of year. We have to decorate the house, buy clothes for the kids and possibly you to take holiday pictures, we have to address a hundred envelopes and mail holiday cards, we’re cooking more, cleaning more, and there isn’t enough time in the day to do it all!
So can’t you just be extra nice around this time? Instead of giving us hell for spending exorbitant amounts of money, offer to help carry the bags in or have a hot bath drawn when we get home; we’re tired! Also, maybe we don’t want to go to your mother’s house and suffer through the stories that your uncle wants to tell just so he can get a grimy peek at our cleavage etc. I guess what I’m saying is that during this time, cut us some slack and give us a pass. It’s sort of like when we were pregnant and behaved unreasonable for absolutely no apparent reason as far as you could see. Here are some common things that couples fight about during this time, and how to handle them.
1. All About The Benjamins
Your husband probably thinks you’ve been spending way too much money over the past month or so and let’s face it ladies, you have. Either cut back on the spending or get better at hiding the merchandise.
2. In Laws
Even if you are somewhat fond of your in laws, having extra people hanging around the house can be overwhelming to an already tense situation. By splitting the visiting time, you can avoid feeling as though your space is being invaded by invading theirs.
3. Gift Giving
You can’t buy gifts for everyone so stop trying. Several years ago my family decided to pull names so that we all don’t go broke trying to buy for one another. If you adopt our tradition, you’ll only be responsible for one gift! (it really does save money)
4. Make Time For Yourselves
Be sure you’re not caught up in the hustle and bustle of the holidays to the point that you’re not spending quality time together. Go out of your way to spend one on one time with your mate to let them know you appreciate them.
Words by Sid Powell
Sid Powell is the NAACP-nominated screenplay writer of ‘Somebody’s Child’, a mother of two, and the owner of SIDPo Productions. Read more about how SIDPo Productions is ‘Changing Everything’ at www.sidpoproductions.com.