Monique N. Matthews recently dove into a topic near to our hearts—and beds—on Ebony.com. The author of the new book Sex Free: A (Not So) Modern Approach to Dating and Relationships, she highlights the number of celebrities who’ve gone public with their decisions to remain celibate, like Meagan Goode and Devon Franklin, Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon, and even single celebrities like Lolo Jones. Abstinence, she says, is becoming an increasingly popular choice for some because they’re trying to heal after breakups or because of their faith. Some are just sick of the nasty feelings they get after casual sex.
Matthews remembers her Sex & the City obsession and the expectation that as a strong, modern, black woman she was supposed to have a lot of sexual partners. She dedicated herself to not “catching feelings”, distancing herself from men she encountered. Ebony.com readers echoed Matthews’ insistence that romance is gone from interactions because society focuses so much on meaningless sex as a norm or an ideal.
What isn’t clear is whether or not the author is in a relationship and how her abstinence has played out in romantic relationships, even though she says it’s a way to increase intimacy.
What do you think: is abstinence the key to better relationships?