Friends, How Many of Us Have Them?
The phone rings. It’s 10pm in the morning and your friend, Tammy, calls you upset about her one of her kids dismal report cards. You desperately want to console her but you have a meeting first thing in the morning so you do what any ‘bad’ friend would do. You rush her off the phone and roll back over and go to sleep. The next morning you wake up feeling guilty and when you try and call and check on Tammy she dismisses you just like you dismissed her last night.
What you just witnessed was one example of how sometimes we as women aren’t good friends to one another. As mothers it’s important for us to have friends who can depend on to help us through those trying times. However sometimes despite how good your character is, every woman has had times when they have not been a friend to their friends. Sometimes it’s shown when we haven’t supported a friend at a special event or other times we haven’t been as compassionate as we could have been but despite the time it’s surely put a rift in a friendship of ours.
Most times we don’t realize we’re not being a good friend while other times we get so caught up being a wife and mother that we forget what it means to be a friend. However there’s a code that we mothers have to live by when interacting with our other mother friends. It’s a mostly unspoken code but no matter what part of the country you live in you have to abide by it or get labeled as the woman who’s not a good girlfriend.
- Always listen to our friends (and their problems). That’s a tough role but it’s a necessity as friend and especially as a mother. Listen doesn’t mean judge- it means to stop talking and listen. We’ve all had those moments when a friend calls stressing over their kid’s injury in soccer or their husband’s not helping around the house. Stop what you’re doing and listen.
- Never date a friend’s ex. This is probably the rule that can get you excommunicated from the Church of Friends quickly and without remorse. Never is it acceptable to date a friend’s ex- despite claims that you got it ‘okayed’ through your friend. All exes are off limits for the length of your friendship with your girlfriend. Seriously these relationships never end up well- just leave them alone.
- Support your friends at their important events. These events may range from baby showers to recitals but if it’s important to your friend, be there. As mothers we usually understand if you can’t stay the entire time but at least show up.
- Always tell your friends the truth- even if they don’t want to hear it. Part of being a good friend means saying what (sometimes) your friends don’t want to hear. So if your friend is in a relationship with someone who’s using her, tell her. She might not appreciate it immediately but your job is to tell her the truth.
Now think about it my Mommy Noire family, are the people you call friends really your friend?