Let’s Get It On!: Keeping the Kids from Blocking Your Sex Life

July 28, 2014 ‐ By Yolanda Darville

Hot, steamy date nights.  Romantic walks in the park.  Fogging up the windows.  Remember those days?  No??  If it’s been so long that you can’t remember, then chances are that you are married with kids.  Let’s face it.  We love our kids.  But those same demanding kids are the reason that many of our marriages lose the passion that makes marriage fun.

But your sex life doesn’t have to take a backseat to the Disney channel and homework.  I recently read “Sexperiment: 7 Days to Lasting Intimacy with Your Spouse” by Ed and Lisa Young.  It’s a great book designed to help married couples ramp up their sex life.  The book had several recommendations for couples who find their time with their romantic time being hijacked by their kids’ needs.

Here are several pointers that I loved:

 Take 10-20 uninterrupted minutes daily to talk to your spouse.  Finding uninterrupted talking time with your spouse is much harder than it sounds.  The book advises that once you arrive home, give the kids a hug and kiss and immediately talk to your spouse about his or her day.  If the kids interrupt, just say “I’d love to talk to you about your day once daddy and I have our special time together.”  This helps your kids understand that mommy-daddy time is important.  It also helps you and your sweetie communicate and stay connected which is key to intimacy.

Keep a standing weekly date night.  Family time is wonderful.  But every couple needs time alone away from their children.  Scheduling a date night will allow needed time to focus on your spouse and build the intimacy that leads to an amazing sex life.  So pull out those calendars and call the babysitter, pronto!

Plan an annual kid-free mini-getaway.  It doesn’t have to be big and expensive.  It just has to be kid-free!  Check out your local bed and breakfast or hotel to a passion-filled weekend with the one you love.  Your kids will be just fine with grandma for a day or two.  And you’ll be sure to reignite the flames in your relationship.

Parents who are passionate lovers have happy marriages and happy families.  And they model a great example of what marriage should be to their children.

So put the kids to bed, pull out the Marvin Gaye, pop open the bubbly and have fun!

Mommies – How do you find time with your man despite the kids?


Yolanda Darville is a mom, writer, communications strategist and blogger focusing on philanthropy and empowering women.  Learn more about her on her blog www.bahamamommyinc.com .



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  • ladybug

    The author must not have infant and toddlers bc the whole sorry but daddy and I are having uninterrupted alone time will not work lol. What works for us is having a nightly bedtime for our kids of 9pm. That way we have a few hours to ourselves to watch movies, talk, or get it on before we go to bed ourselves. I think peoples s e x lives suffer when their kids don’t have bedtime or worse sleep in their beds. It sucks because you don’t get the spontaneous drunken daytime on the countertop s e x anymore lol. Only when you have a sitter.