Karrine Steffans: From Superhead to Supermom
Karrine Steffans is most known for her nickname: Superhead, after blowing the whistle on men in the industry in her debut book: Confessions of a Video Vixen, which became a best seller that garnered her an interview on Oprah. After Confessions, she went on to write 3 more books: The Vixen Diaries, The Vixen Manual and SatisFaction. She just released a new book: Drink F#$@ Sleep, a collection of essays featuring other women and their stories of how alcohol influenced their sexual escapades.
Karrine is open about her sex life, but one thing we never get to hear her speak of is her son, and just the mention of his presence brings tears to her eyes. Here’s an excerpt from our interview:
So what would you tell your son about the type of women he should look out for?
Karrine Steffans: The only thing I tell my son, who’s 14…and he’s really 14. He’s not like one of these 14 year olds who ride the subway and smoke cigarettes. He’s really a sheltered, normal 14 year old. He’s not on the internet. He’s not allowed to watch anything on TV except for Nickelodeon and his TV only has like 3 or 4 channels…parental controls. So he’s sheltered from the world and I do that on purpose because he’s only gonna be my kid for a few more years and then I gotta give him out to the world [and] when he goes out he’ll be a little green, at first, but life is long and you’re an adult for a very long time. You’ll figure it out. I don’t want you figuring out how to be an adult at 14. Figure it out when you’re an adult.
So when we do talk about relationships and as he gets older, women…I tell him I want him to treat every woman as if she were his mother, no matter who she is, and you have to treat her as if she’s been hurt because she probably has. You have to treat her as if she’s been raped and spit on and called every name in the book. You gotta treat her as if someone came in here and ruined her already.
Go into everything feeling like that because it’s probably true and what that does is, it gives you a sense of empathy…treat her like you would your mom…
You seem very emotional when you talk about that, does that hit a button for you?
Karrine Steffans: It’s my kid…and um…my kid is such an amazing kid. I think about him growing up and going out into the world and when you have kids you try your best to tell them the things that you hope will keep them when they get out there…so I’m very emotional about that because he’s my kid [so] I want to make sure I’m telling him the right things and giving him those things [and so] it does make me emotional to think about my son being a man.
What about that day when he comes to you after being outside in the world and he says: someone said your mom, they call her Superhead?
Karrine Steffans: Nothing. That’s what they used to call me…There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that and I don’t mind it. It just doesn’t matter. They’ve called me worst things. You’re talking to someone who’s been being put down since she was born, by her own mother so the things that bother other people don’t bother me. I’ve made it already. I’m already here you know [and] by most accounts I should’ve been dead a long time ago, so whatever that is, it doesn’t matter and I instill that in my child…things that matter and things that just fucking don’t and he’s a remarkable person and he gets that already.
Words By: Dominga Martin