Girls Who Like Girls, Boys Who Like Boys – Discussing Sexuality With Your Child

December 6, 2012  |  

Maybe you’re familiar with this scenario; your child comes home from school and starts to inquire about boys liking boys and girls liking girls. He/she makes mention of one of their classmates who seems to act “different” than the other boys or girls.

Children are naturally inquisitive, but this line of questioning is undeniably more than that. Your child wants answers and you had better figure out how to provide them; quickly.

The first time this happened to me I was caught off guard and honestly didn’t know what to say. I knew immediately that my 5th grader was referencing a classmate who was gay. I decided to shoot straight. I took a deep breath and dove into the conversational abyss of sexuality in an attempt to help my son understand that people are different, I told him:

“…sometimes boys like boys and girls like girls.”

I also expressed my personal opinion on the matter letting him know that I don’t treat people differently because of who they like. I told him that we should love everyone and treat them with respect as long as it doesn’t compromise our own beliefs. I urged him to avoid making fun of kids who are different, even if everyone else thinks it’s okay.

In my daughter’s case it hits closer to home because her best friend is going through a bisexual crisis at the moment. I struggled with whether or not ‘sleepovers’ should be nixed altogether, once her best friends sexuality was disclosed to me. My approach has always been and will continue to be firm communication with my children about sexuality and everything else. If you limit what your kids can talk to you about, you’re creating roadblocks that you won’t be able to tear down when it really counts.

Are you comfortable discussing sexuality with your kids?

Words: Sid Powell

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  • Jacqueline

    I wish that I was able to talk to my parents about sex as a teenager and about alternative lifestyles. I think it would have made a big difference in my life as well as self esteem. As parents we assumed that sexuality our children are with the norm but that is not always the case.

  • LionessDelina

    Thank you Joshua. =)

  • Joshua Campbell

    I think this is a great way of addressing it. The truth is, there are those of use who were born this way, there are those who make choices, and then there are variables and experiences (some very tragic) in one’s life that mold their sexual preferences. I wasnt raised by parents who were so tolerant (now they are), your children are fortunate.

  • LionessDelina

    My oldest and I just had a conversation about this yesterday. We’ve had the talk before, but now that he’s older he sees more and understands more. I was glad to know that what we instilled in him at a young age, still holds true. He has his beliefs, yet still respects them. He still struggles with why. I don’t know how to answer that other than some people choose, others are born that way. No matter which one it is God still loves them and you should always treat others how you want to be treated. I also reminded him that it wasn’t too long ago that we were not accepted because of the color of our skin. It gave him something to think about.

  • Joshua Campbell

    truly crazy how early these kids are getting involved with human
    sexuality. Thank you for educating them… but when I was a kid I just
    wanted play soccer. I will say this, any parent who adds a negative slant on any form of sexuality… words will not change the person but oppress them and provide an internal struggle for happiness.