5 Things I Learned from Being a Teenage Mother

February 2, 2013 ‐ By Franchesca Lane-Warren

I remember like it was yesterday—I was locked in a stall in my dorm bathroom anxiously awaiting the results of my pregnancy test. As I closed my eyes I thought:

“Could I really be going through this?”

Just months earlier, I had left my small town as the first person in my family to receive a scholarship and to go to college. I remembered my parents beaming with pride. They were full of dreams and had so many aspirations for me. I was going to make a difference.

I opened my eyes and my life changed forever—the test read positive. I was pregnant.

Everything after that was a blur from the many tears I cried. My boyfriend (husband now) was supportive, but we really had no idea what to do. We considered an abortion, but neither one of us could go through with it. I wanted to keep our baby. After making that decision there was a whirlwind of activity:

I had to find a place to live, get a job and tell my parents that I was pregnant and that I was keeping the baby.

My mom cried and my father was silent – dead silent. After about a month they recovered from the news, after I vowed to stay in school and still “make something out of myself.”

Nine months later my son was born, but instead of life being easier it got harder — even unbearable at times. Here I was a full time student, part time worker, who still had dreams, aspirations and a baby. Being the strategist I am, I decided that I had to make this work. I moved to on campus family housing, got government assistance, and decided to live by the mantra:

“that hard times don’t last always”

During those hard times I learned 5 important lessons that have stuck with me. These lessons taught me how to be a great mother and wife despite obstacles:

When you have children, their interests are first. Period. Point.Blank.
This was hard for me. I was so used to doing what was good for me, that oftentimes I forgot I had a son who needed me to do what was best for him.

Spend time and love your children and everything else will fall in place.
While I was pregnant I read every website and book I could find about raising a child. When he was born, I tried to institute everything I read and I almost had a nervous breakdown. Do what your heart tells you.

Some friends will not understand or respect that you are now a mother—discard them immediately.
I was 19 when I got pregnant, (twenty when I had my son) so I was the first of my friends to have a child. Some of them understood my new journey, but there were some who could not. Simply, they couldn’t respect that my life had changed.

Every mother needs a support system, small or large.
For the first couple of months of motherhood I thought I was superwoman. I needed help, and since my parents lived 500 miles away I had to make a choice. Accept nearby support, or go back to my hometown with my baby. I chose the first option and life got better.

“Me” time is vital for your (and others around you) sanity.
Fast forward to eleven years later, and I am a mom of 3 children (11, 4, 2) who graduated from college, got a Master’s Degree (working on my PhD) and is a pretty awesome wife to my college sweetheart. As I look back during those times I can smile because my son helped me become a better (more responsible person).

Mommy Community Chat:What are some lessons you learned when becoming a young parent?


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  • keeponmoving

    I know this is late but Im in the same situation as we speak I turn 20 next month and I am 3 months pregnant, just last year this time I was away in school enjoying being a young and now I immediately have to grow up…thank you for this.

  • NicciNic

    Just gave me so much inspiration. Like serious business

  • BossyGirl

    Thanks Sheree!

  • Bossygirl1980

    Thanks Carlas!

  • BossyGirl

    Thanks Mike!

  • BossyGirl

    Thanks Mike!

  • http://www.facebook.com/shereepayneadams Sheree Adams

    I was 25 and unmarried and I too had tons of emotions running through my head. I will NEVER forget that day or the days that followed. Unplanned=panic Great read!

  • Mike Lowery

    This is me and my wife’s exact story… wow! the world is funny like that..

  • Carlas Mack

    I really enjoyed reading this post. I got pregnant my last month in college. I was scared and excited , but it turned out to be a Molar Pregnancy. I had my son 2 years later after I finished college and was married for a year. But I am glad to see that you stuck it out.