Ways All Women Are Lazy About Beauty Routines
Have you ever found yourself thinking, “I’m really screwing up as a woman today”? It’s okay. I’m sure we’ve all done these hilarious things when we’ve felt a little lazy about our beauty routines.
Peeing in a romper
Do I really have to take my entire romper off, straps and all, just to pee? Nah. I can just pull one part of the shorts to the side and hope for the best…
Taking off makeup at night
I’m lucky if I wash my face. And when I do wash my face, whatever doesn’t come off with soap and water is staying on there. Besides, those little makeup removal wipes are expensive and always dry out before you use them!
Putting on new makeup the next day
Some of last night’s mascara is still on. Perfect! Less to do. You might cake a little more on top, but why waste some strong Maybelline Great Lash?
Shaving the whole va-jay-jay
That crevice on the side of your va-jay-jay that connects to the inner thigh just requires too much work to get to. My shower is small: I’m not stretching to shave. That place can just stay hairy.
Shaving the knees
And there is definitely a part of my knee that has never been shaved. I gave up about five years ago. That spot clearly doesn’t want to be shaved.
Keeping the shower bun
Sometimes I throw my hair up in a pineapple on the very tip top of my head to keep it off my back when I shower. And sometimes I get out of the shower and think: Actually, I’ll just leave it like this for the day…
Brushing all your hair
Why brush all of my hair when I can just run the brush over the top to make it look under control before throwing the rest in a bun? Genius. And yes, I do have a nest in my hair.
Going to a salon for to get your bangs trimmed
I could drive 20 minutes to the salon and pay $10 to get my bangs cut. Or I could just do it myself, and deal with the unevenness. If I swoop them to the side a bit, nobody even notices.
A run in your stockings
Stockings aren’t cheap. Unless there is a run on the bottom of the leg where people can see it, I’m still wearing them. I’ll accept 10 runs on my butt and around my toes before I will invest in another pair.
Reapplying polish to raggedy nails
Why clean off chipped nail polish when you can just cover it up with new polish?
Sometimes I wake up and think, Putting on a bra is just TOO MUCH today. So, instead, I put on three tank tops. Yes, it is somehow easier. YES, IT IS MOM!
Drawing in eyebrows
Hmm…pluck the eyebrows, or just add more pencil to the “good areas” to draw attention away from the “bad areas?”
Pay for the salon, or buy the dinky $5 root touch-up products at the drugstore to hold me over a bit longer? The latter. Okay, the latter three times in a row.