Why I Love Black Women

May 18, 2011  |  

I started writing my personal (unconditional) love letter to black women back in September of 1983 when my mother brought me into this world at Good Samaritan Hospital. Next she brought me home to my grandmother, and sister who sought to protect this little ‘high yellow’ baby named Cedric. Black women comprise the foundation of my very existence. When I think back to triumphant/trying times in life I can always link my perseverance to the black women I was surrounded with.

The first image I saw of beauty was not some Euro centric, blonde hair, blue eyed woman. Nope.  The beauty I have and will always be in love with is that of a darker complexion. No need for code terms like exotic, I love my women undeniably black. I love all shades of blackness and I am sure that my wife will be a black woman. So you can understand my frustration when I saw the “scientific data” presented in Satoshi Kanazawa’s post “Why are Black Women Less Physically Attractive Than Other Women” recently on Psychology Today. (You might have read the response piece here on Madame Noire.)

It caught my attention because of the firestorm it created on Twitter; I was tempted to disregard it because I have no desire to invite nonsense into my psyche. To my dismay I did check it out and the first thing I found alarming was that the author was claiming that these findings were objective, which I found troublesome because I was always taught that beauty was in the eye of the beholder. Secondly, I have to question the “objectiveness” of those who participated in this study, growing up in America and across the world we have been conditioned that white is beautiful thus black is not. How can something be objective when so many have been conditioned that beauty looks more like Lindsay Lohan than Sanaa Lathan?

Obviously I disagree with the findings that black women are the least attractive group of women and rather than give more attention to such a negative article, allow me to explain why to me; black women are the most beautiful women to walk this earth. I don’t have to put other women down to lift my women up; they stand tall on their own.

What makes someone attractive? That question has as many answers as there are stars in the sky; every man has his own criteria by which he abides. For me a woman needs to be beautiful inside and out.

Here’s what I mean when I say beautiful inside and out:

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  • Aphrocentrik

    Sounds like you are essentializing! Surely you are aware of the fact that NOT ALL WOMEN are this way!? Eeeew.

  • Robert Sercombe

    Except for the part about being given birth by a black woman and brought home to black women, I could have written this. And I'm a not-young white man wed 22 happy years to a fantastic black woman. Everything said here about strength, beauty and brains applies to her, and to most of the many black women I've had the privilege to know; but there's something more. My wife has been my *example*. Without trying to be, without ever trying to change me, she's shown how much better her approach to many things is, and I've worked at changing myself. To whatever degree I've succeeded I credit to her. She has shown me what love means and how deep it has to go to be worthy of the name. And strength, and courage. And beauty? Don't even get me started. My standards have changed.

  • Diane Jackson

    This just brought a tear to my eye, I applaude the beautiful man who wrote this. I hope other men will follow in your footsteps!

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  • fraud

    Too bad he is married to a white woman.

  • Mad Trucker

    I am a black man and I love black women but for me its the hair issue it seems like black women hate to have hair past there ears and now they are shaving one side of their head sometimes both sides of their head with just hair on top or cutting their own hair and putting bags of fake hair in personally I DO NOT like fake hair even if it looks real its just hard finding a beautiful black woman with long hair

  • I think this article was very well written, and uplifting. I appreciate Nativenotes taking the time, and having the courage to write this about us.

  • MelaninEnriched

    "I only wish ALL of our Black Men felt the way you feel..It seems as though when they're broke and damn near homeless we're good enough. However, when they become the top paying athlete, etc they give it all back to the White Race as if to say we're not good enough to share their blessings"

    This is sooo very true. 'Nuff said

  • Keshia

    This was beautifully written. I'm proud daily to be a Black Woman, but this article made me beam a lot brighter. Thanks for the beautiful words.

  • Linda D

    Brendolyn, you took the words right out of my mouth on this subject, thanks for the comment.

  • Jon

    Coming from a white man I find black women the most atractive woman on the planet!!! I think this article is dead on and hits the main keys of why I prefer black women over other women. I mean come on there beautiful from head to toe, they are brilliant and they have strong souls!! Black women rock!!!

  • Amelia

    I am a white (eastern european) woman and I never thought black women (or any other ethnicity for that matter) were in any way inferior physically than anyone else. I grew up in a place where it was OK to be racist and I despised that about my people. I could see no logic behind racism even as a child, so I never believed it. If anything, I find black women's bodies absolutely gorgeous and African/African American models are amongst some of the most beautiful women in fashion and it makes me wish that more black models could make it to the top. All the black women I know and am friends with are beautiful people, inside and outside, very strong people who do not let themselves be walked all over. Also, my favourite and the strongest woman out there, one who actually changed poeple's lives for the better and perhaps influenced the course of history is Oprah. She is an educator, taught at university and is probably the toughest woman, who took "educational philanthropy" to the highest level, something no one else has been able to do so successfully. I can't even get into the ridiculous debates over black women's hair because for me – natural is gorgeous and I've always preferred natural hair on black women. It's too bad a lot of other people cannot see what I see.

  • Sarah

    It is so terrible that women feel ugly or inferior because of their race, the media makes us feel like we don't measure up to society's standards or expectations. No woman (or man) should be made to feel bad about themselves because they are not a certain color, size, age etc. All people are beautiful, and we are all different. This article helped me to realize though, that maybe it is okay to love and appreciate one type of person over another, it is human nature to have preferences of beauty. We should not let the media or the majority decide for us. I just hope that one day all types of people, no matter what their ancestry and the history of their society, will be as free to express their own perceptions. At this time, however, it is understandable that this article would not be acceptable if it were written by a white man for white women. But hopefully one day we will all have enough hindsight and respect for each other that we can all be free and honest our feelings as this man has done.

  • AmbiVictoria

    Wonderfully beautiful and so sincerely well said. Thank You very much for noticing*

  • Darkesthourglass

    You can tell when a brother comes from a good family. I’m sure he was praised and well taken of. Well anyway, great job.

  • turqoisebrown

    Thank you for that thoughtful and kind article!!! Brothers you need to start standing up more on our behalf! All the hate that is being bestowed on the Black woman is unbelievebale. Where is it coming from? Must be doing something right or got something they want otherwise they would not be sprewing such hate.

  • Hey Ced, this was very nice and thought-through. Thanks for writing this and reminding me why I am beautiful. 🙂

    Keep it going,

  • Vanda

    Thank you young man for this article. If black women so unattractive why is the indoor tanning industry still thriving? Self tanners and butt injections why do these things exist? Lip and cheekbone implants why is this profitable? We black women are the sh*t and its time that we black women wake up and recognize.

  • lola

    i love this
    i keeping this on my computer

  • choclove91

    This was BEYOND beautiful!! I teared up reading this as a insecure black woman. I’ve never had a compliment as real & full of love like that before. Oh gosh I’m balling reading this and your well welcomed to say whatever you feel & as a woman I say THANK YOU and I truly appreciate this from the bottom of my heart, this was gorgeous!!!!!! 🙂

  • Nardeyah

    I absoulety love this article. I love black men and women(no homo). We our the most beautiful creation god made. He surely made us to stand tall against all nations on earth. Its proving in the bible. The tribe of Juda( So-Called Black Man of American) is the choosen ruler. I truely love how Madame Noire lift black people up. Shid its not about race when white people do it. So please everyone should respect when people like you( the writers of Madame Noire) write something to up lift Our people. We are one nation but also family by our nation…tribe of Juda

    • Paul

      We are all created even homos nobody is better then anybody we are all the same. If my color of skin would have made changes years ago none of this would have happend i am ashamed sometimes to be white. And that is why i am doing everything to make sure we as a nation blacks, whites, indians gays you name love and care for each other as my Hero DR. King someday we will all sit down at the brotherhood of love all of us. And god hopes that day comes but in my heart i belive it and know that it will no matter what.

  • Veronica

    Siply, Thank you 🙂

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  • Davina

    That other article made me so upset, but this one made me smile and feel proud. Thank you soooo much!!! MWUAHHHHH!!!

  • Dimples

    Thank you! It is nice to hear that we are not looked down upon, looked past and over and that someone sees and appreciates and loves us. Again, I say thank you!

  • BelizeanBreeze

    Elegant…simple…balanced…thank you King!-Signed another Queen

  • Robin

    Thank you your voice is sooo desperately needed!!!

  • justme

    Thank you!!! I am repulsed by the negative attitude that people are expressing toward black women. It is refreshing to hear a different p.o.v. And he didn’t have to put any other race or ethnicity down to recognize our talents.

  • sharon

    This piece bought a tear to my eye,THANK YOU brother for yor kind words!

  • Kala

    He is not saying black women can do no wrong but it's about damn time a black man had something positive to say about black women. So sad that so many of our black men feel that demoralizing black women, putting them down, and giving broad generalizations helps boost their already weak egos. What a lot of black men fail to realize is that no other race will ever take a black man seriously because he is so quick to put down what he comes from. So by saying all the negative things about black women he in fact in the eyes of other races is saying what he comes from is nothing so he is nothing.

    • africalicious

      U r absolutely right!!!!

  • Cassie

    Wow, this is beautiful. I wish all the black women who try to change themselves because of society’s definition of beauty would read this.

  • A black man who can't recognize the beauty in black women is disrespecting his mother, sister, grandmother and the beautiful black women who have trail blazed the path so that you could have a seat at the table. Pay some love and respect and stop being so selfish that you can't acknowledge greatness.

  • windy city


  • KeeKee

    Feels good to see a brotha write articles like this….To bad its not enough. I want to see MORE black men celebrate black women and help defend sistas against ignorant racist bullsh*t like that wack a** article.

  • Ms. Dulce de Leche

    This is simply excellent and beautiful. When we uplift our women we uplift our nation.

  • Ben


  • Evette Starks

    Beautifully put thank you for confirming what Black women already know, you rock !

  • lala

    Thank you so much for this article , if only things like this will gain a lot of publicity unlike that abomination i was subjected to reading my kanazawa or whatever the hell his name is

  • Ebony

    Kudos to the author… very uplifting piece… now… I think it only fair to print a similar article on “why we love our Black men”…and that there ARE good ones!! And plenty of them. If u have no one to write it, I will!! But great article!!

  • L@L

    This is beautiful!! Like Kala said it is so nice to hear beautiful words from a black man to a black woman. It is so easy for us to bring one another down. A nice refreshing read 🙂

  • Youngchocolate

    This really put a smile on my face : D

  • Kala

    So refreshing to see in print a black man uplifting black women! It is a breath of fresh air. As a woman I say thank you.