Will.i.am Thinks Women With Condoms Are Tacky

38 comments
May 5, 2011 ‐ By Christelyn Karazin

 

There’s a lot of spitting and cussing about wll.i.am’s comments during an Elle magazine interview about how “tacky” it is for single women to have condoms in their homes.

How vulgar.

I mean, really.  It’s soooo tacky to have some forethought and desire to preserve one’s health.

But I guess it’s not “tacky” that 73% of black children are born out-of-wedlock, many of whom were conceived because some black woman also believed it was tawdry to protect her vagina just in case her and her date got caught up in the heat of the moment.  And how crude of her to not want to be vulnerable to the high incidence of STD and HIV transmission within the black community?  Who the heck does she think she is, a white girl?

“His attitude is exactly that judgmental and condemning attitude that black men have about black women’s sexuality.  It puts black women in a box and makes the woman have to pretend to be something she’s not in order to meet the approval and acquire the affection of a man,” says Deborrah Cooper, relationship expert, radio personality and operator of SurvivngDating.com.

The sad truth is that young black women are force-fed this bull-donkey in church, and well-meaning family members that ‘good girls’ don’t buy condoms.   And when you get knocked up because there were no condoms in the side table, you can say it “just happened.”

The performer said this in his interview: “I just think, like, if you’re into someone and you guys get to that level, then that’s something you should converse about together and say, “Hey, maybe we should get some.”

Huh.  Okay; so you’re hot and heavy with a guy, clothes are off, and certain body parts are…uh…activated, and you expect people to stop getting down to have some type of DISCUSSION?

What do you think about women who have condoms, Madame Noire readers?

Christelyn D. Karazin is a health writer and the co-author of Swirling: How to Date, Mate and Relate Mixing Race Culture and Creed (to be released February 2012), and runs a blog, www.beyondblackwhite.com, dedicated to women of color who are interested and or involved in interracial and intercultural relationships. She is also the founder and organizer of “No Wedding, No Womb,” an initiative to find solutions to the 72 percent out-of-wedlock rate in the black community.  Join the #NWNW conversation on Twitter.

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  • LindaRivers

    First off, I think you entirely missed Will.I.Am.'s point.

    He was referencing "communication" when he stated: “I just think, like, if you’re into someone and you guys get to that level, then that’s something you should "converse" about together and say, “Hey, maybe we should get some.” I am very surprised that you, a professional communicator does not understand. What woman white, black, blue or purple wait until things get hot and heavy with a guy, clothes off, with certain body parts activated, BEFORE they think about PROTECTION for their partner of themself. Not a very smart one, that is for sure.

    Will.I.Am. has my support on this one!

    • sheri

      i just said that in my comment! im glad someone else noticed it!

  • lexi

    What the hell is he smoking? it's tacky to protect yourself from unwanted pregnanices or stds?? I don't even know how to comment on his stupidity. You don't wait to talk to someone about using a condom. That isn't something you discuss. You dicuss being tested for HIV and you always, always, always have a condom. It's not even a question to not have one. He needs to get out of the dark ages and smarten up. He thinks it's tacky well I think his gumby hair, over usage of autotune and futuristic clustermess ensemble is tacky.

  • Lil Mecko

    I am a single black woman who recently ended a 9yr relationship, so I want to be happy and I'm not looking for another serious relationship right now. I love myself enough to protect myself. Just last week, I went out and bought a box of 48 Multi colored condoms!!! so that's what I think about it. I don't plan on picking guys up and taking them home, but I plan to be prepared to take care of me. I'd rather have them and not need them, then to need them and nnot have them.

  • Guest

    Who the hell cares!!! Just as long as SOMEBODY shows up with or has a condom when it's time!!! Puhleeeeez!!!

  • http://www.lapurse.com/categories/INFINITY-SCARVES/ adnan

    I think its good if women have condoms, it shows that she always tries to be safe and healthy.

    • Deecha

      That's how I see it, adnan.

  • A woman

    Hold up, did Will.I.Am say its tacky for black women to have condoms? NO. He said single women, white, black, whatever. I think this article is written in poor taste just because it automatically makes that distinction and it becomes an article about race rather than addressing the main issue, women vs. men. I completely agree with you about the health conscious thing, but that should apply to all women.

    • QuestionsThenActions

      The distinction does not matter. Will.I.Am is wrong in his thinking PERIOD, whether this is geared towards black women, Asian women, Hispanic women, etc…

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  • Hump

    Goodness gracious ladies, we can tell from the responses who's not waiting until marriage to have sex (I'm telling Jesus..!!) .., many of you all took this very personally. Go ahead and give me the thumbs down, but hear me out. The reality is the majority of we men feel this way on some level. We know we are not dealing with virgins, however, on some level we take comfort in knowing a woman we have feelings for (not a jumpoff) has had as few sexual partners as possible.

    I'm appreciative of a woman who is open about her sexual health/ status/expectations, and then we can buy condoms together which are ideal for both of us. Condoms don't prevent all STD's and if you intelligent, beautiful, wonderful, gorgeous, fornicating, women don't take the additional step of getting your sexual partners STD status, then stop patting yourself on the back as if you are 100% protected. Come on, if you knew a guy had HIV, you would probably avoid him, rubber or not….

    In our minds, a woman who has condoms on the ready is promiscuous to some extent. That doesn't mean we won't respect her, it just means we more often than not put her in a different category. You should be concerned about your sexual health first and foremost before image and reputation!!! However, just keep in mind, our minds (the majority of us men) don't work like that. I got with a sister, and she pulled out a candy bowl full of rubbers. I was grateful (and disgusted) but I immediately knew how far the relationship was going (nowhere). After selecting the Trojan Spartan 300 Mega Donkey Kong Maxi Size Extra Large Shaka Zulu Remix condom (Okay I'm lyin !!!), I did the do. She was good for sex, but I would not have invested any more effort into her (time, money, affection, resources, etc…) .

    Sisters, women's lib is good, but let's not go overboard. You who are sexually liberated have mastered the science of getting a man to sleep with you, big deal, but the art of getting him to invest anything of value into you means you might have to look at things from another perspective. Stop hating on Will.I.Am and heed the words of the soulstress Betty Wright …. "Girls you can't do what the guys do, and still be a lady" – Betty Wright

    • lala

      ok so what do you recommend the ladies do about condoms?

      • Hump

        I would suggest getting a full STD test of any sexual partner, then purchasing condoms with your partner after sharing the results. If a man isn't willing to go through that to sleep with you, then he probably won't be forthcoming about other things as the relationship progresses. We'll also respect you more, because you respect yourself enough to hold off a few days on physical pleasure to preserve your health….

        Some of these posts, not all, remind me of a high shool's girls locker room where the girls cosign and high five each others behavior. It's like hearing Lil Kim, Superhead, and Nicki Minaj give each other relationship advice. I wonder do some of these posters have grandmothers, dad's, big brothers, or even true male friends to school them on how we think? School them on why Will.I.Am said what he said and how many men won't publicly admit to feeling the same? Or, school them on how a woman can get her physical desires met and still reap the benefits of a man respecting you at the same time? I'm just saying…

        • badmamajama

          I can't respect a man who holds a double standard, so seeking that man's respect is not important. Nothing should be more important than respecting one's own body.

    • meredith camille

      you know Hump, the problem with your statement is that you seem to be condoning this double standard. Yes thats the way it is, but that does not make it right. Men like you can kick rocks..
      Yes im sure everyone is gonna stop during the heat of the moment and go get a blood test…really? Once again like many cavemen such as yourself, you have left the woman in your scenario with little option. How can you in one breath say we should be concerned about our sexual health, but in the next breath tell us that we should be prepared to be downgraded to booty call status for doing so…seems like its not women who need to change, but men who have this stupid mentality are the ones who need to change. Its these double standards that keep many black women in situations trying to live up to a certain image that black men say we should live up to, only to leave us with the short end (pun intended) of the stick…

    • badmamajama

      You hit it before investing time or affection? I stopped reading there. You and whatever lady you are poking wasn't going to last anyway. At least she looked out for her health.

  • karen

    I say to you Will- I – Would Neva "Mr. raw dawg dirdy d*ickin", in the words of Lil Kim
    "Shut the F*ck Up B*tch!!"

  • hunni

    That's funny that I would see this article and I just bought me a ten pack of condoms today!! The bottom line is men don't mind slipping up in something raw doggie. They will play that "I don't have any condoms" BS all day…So to make things easier for ME I got a few Magnums, LifeStyles in my bag so there won't be any room for ERROR! BTW, when the last time has anybody seen Will.I. Am w/a woman of any race color or creed? *CRICKETS* Please. I wouldn't take any comments from a man that walks around with a purse that seriously. Will.I.Am–KICK ROCKS!

  • Deana

    Who gives a d.a.m.n what Ashy-Hand-Will-I-Am thinks about women and condoms, he's probably infected anyways, kick rocks.

    • hunni

      I second that notion, Deana!

  • cynthia

    Yes I believe he is borderline gay/downlow or whatever. Did you see his full interview in Elle about how he is concerned if a woman doesn't have wet wipes by the toilet and he uses the chocolate as an analogy? Yeah he would want to make sure the azz is clean for 'his' purposes'. He would be more concern with that than the cleanliness and health of the vjay. Wonder why free willy?

  • Julia Locklear

    Women have no excuse not to take responsibility for their own health, protection, and reproductive habits. That Will.i.am would say this is disappointing. Women who are unafraid (as they should be) to act responsibly should be commended. I keep them in my night table and my toiletry bag when traveling because you never know but you do know that whatever happens, you'll be ready.

  • Tia

    I once was having a conversation with several young, single, black women like myself. The topic of buying condoms came up, and I told them that I buy the 12 pack at Walmart because its more economical. One girl replied “Oh my gosh! You buy condoms at Walmart?!?! I wouldn’t want anyone to see me buy condoms, I want everyone to think I’m still a ‘good girl'”. First of all, she has a booty bigger than everyone in the conversation, NOBODY still thinks she’s a good girl. Secondly, I found out months later that this same girl had had at least 3 abortions. And this was probably 5 years ago. So there may be more….ummm I’ll take my $5.99 pack of condoms over your $300-a-pop abortions ANYDAY!!

  • Loo

    Interesting… So does he also think it's tacky for men to walk around with condoms?

  • http://Twitter.com/ARosenBklyn ARosenBklyn

    Every woman owes it to herself to protect her health. Smart men, who are worth goodies, know and respect this. When I was single and mingling…. I literally had a nightstand drawer FULL of condoms. I'd buy condoms just bc I passed the aisle in the drug store!

    It says or implies more about a woman's respect for herself and her partner than it does about her chastity.

    Will.I.Am is a freaking idiot and I cringe to think that he would mindlessly sputter that dribble given the STD/HIV rates in the Black community.

  • Sillio

    will i am is a sister hata…lol..Me and my girl going on vacation…Travelocity giving away $1000 Giftcards for anywhere in US..just for giving them your email..haha..My whole fam got 1 http://goo.gl/8IQWl

  • Sillio

    will i am is a sister hata…lol..Me and my girl going on vacation…Travelocity giving away $1000 Giftcards for anywhere in US..just for giving them your email..haha..My whole fam got 1 http://goo.gl/8IQWl

  • Sillio

    will i am is a sister hata…lol..Me and my girl going on vacation…Travelocity giving away $1000 Giftcards for anywhere in US..just for giving them your email..haha..My whole fam got 1 http://goo.gl/8IQWl

  • Sillio

    will i am is a sister hata…lol..Me and my girl going on vacation…Travelocity giving away $1000 Giftcards for anywhere in US..just for giving them your email..haha..My whole fam got 1 http://goo.gl/8IQWl

  • Sillio

    will i am is a sister hata…lol..Me and my girl going on vacation…Travelocity giving away $1000 Giftcards for anywhere in US..just for giving them your email..haha..My whole fam got 1 http://goo.gl/8IQWl

  • Sillio

    will i am is a sister hata…lol..Me and my girl going on vacation…Travelocity giving away $1000 Giftcards for anywhere in US..just for giving them your email..haha..My whole fam got 1 http://goo.gl/8IQWl

  • Prissy

    Oh wow!!! This is SAD because (unlike myself) ALOT of people (especially kids) like and listen to his music. STDS/pregnancy knows NO color, religion, race or creed. Condoms at the local clinic (especially on my universities campus) are FREE. COLLECT them. KEEP them. and USE them PROPERLY!!! DO NOT ever listen to this "man" or any other buffoon that tries to tell you otherwise. SMH. HE is TACKY for even thinking that thought. *sigh*

  • fabu78

    I'm a single black woman that's doesn't want to die or get something I can't get rid of. STI's are not bias! The cleanest of the clean can have a disease, and for a woman to depend on the man to protect them both is ludicrous! My motto is " NO glove, No love

    • Sillio

      exactly…wil i am..is for the white girls..Me and my girl going on vacation…Travelocity giving away $1000 Giftcards for anywhere in US..just for giving them your email..haha..My whole fam got 1 http://goo.gl/8IQWl

    • Sillio

      exactly…wil i am..is for the white girls..Me and my girl going on vacation…Travelocity giving away $1000 Giftcards for anywhere in US..just for giving them your email..haha..My whole fam got 1 http://goo.gl/8IQWl

    • Sillio

      exactly…wil i am..is for the white girls..Me and my girl going on vacation…Travelocity giving away $1000 Giftcards for anywhere in US..just for giving them your email..haha..My whole fam got 1 http://goo.gl/8IQWl

    • Sillio

      exactly…wil i am..is for the white girls..Me and my girl going on vacation…Travelocity giving away $1000 Giftcards for anywhere in US..just for giving them your email..haha..My whole fam got 1 http://goo.gl/8IQWl

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