8 Ways You’re Not Being Yourself On A First Date

April 13, 2015  |  
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Being yourself on a date doesn’t just mean answering questions about yourself honestly. Without realizing it, you could be putting on a front to impress a prospective partner on a first date. Here are eight ways you could be showing off a different (aka, phony) side of yourself in order to make a love connection.

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Arguing about something you’re not passionate about 

When your date brings up a hot topic in politics or just something going on in the world, you take a very passionate stance on the matter. In reality, you really haven’t been following it. In fact, you do a quick Google search on your phone when your date is in the bathroom so you have something to say.

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It’s okay if you don’t know

Hey, if you’re someone who doesn’t really follow the news, that’s something your date should know. You’re not necessarily ignorant or naïve if you don’t always know what’s going on; you probably have issues you are very passionate about and others that get less of your attention. Just tell your date, “Honestly, I haven’t really been following that.” Your honesty will be refreshing.

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Ditching your diet rules

You want to order your burger wrapped in lettuce because if you get that bun, you’re going to have to do an extra 30 minutes on the treadmill tomorrow. But instead, you order the regular burger so your date doesn’t think you’re high maintenance or obsessed with your weight.

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Everyone has diet rules

Newsflash: even grown men get self-conscious about having a little extra jiggle on their belly. I wouldn’t be surprised if your date is relieved when you order something healthy because then he can too. You can stop pretending you don’t want a salad, and he can stop pretending he wants a triple cheeseburger. You both want something healthy because you want to take better care of yourselves.

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Pretending you care about partying

He’s telling you crazy stories about his penchant for partying. You don’t want to seem boring so you pull out some old wild story about a night you had too much to drink. But truthfully, you only have that one story to tell because you don’t really like partying that much.

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He’ll find your old lady ways endearing

You don’t have to like partying to be compatible with someone. Your date will appreciate that you’re not ashamed of who you are: You like to spend Friday nights trying new recipes, reading, and catching up on your shows. Hey, maybe he will be inspired to take a break from the party scene himself.

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Being “totally fine” about your breakups

You don’t want to seem hung up on exes or resentful in general. So, when your date asks about your past relationships you say, “They all ended smoothly and we’re on great terms!”

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Nobody has had only smooth breakups

A) Your date won’t believe this and, B) it’s okay to have less than positive feelings about your past relationships. It shows you’re human. Your date probably has some exes he doesn’t have the nicest things to say about either.

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Acting financially stable

Your date is going so well that the two of you start planning other dates. He talks about planning a group ski trip with your friends and his. You say you’re all in, but really, you’re kind of broke and you know you can’t afford all that.

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Everybody’s a little broke

There is no point in pretending your financial situation is anything that it isn’t—that’s a lie you can’t keep up if you keep dating. Also, there’s no shame in living on a budget. It’s very possible that your date has to as well. And even if he is loaded, he shouldn’t judge you for trying to get your money right.

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Being totally agreeable

Your date says something you find a little egotistical, rude, or something you just don’t agree with. You laugh it off because you don’t want to be argumentative on a first date.

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Say what you need to say

Your date will probably appreciate it if you point out the flaws in his thinking. If he doesn’t appreciate it, he’s not right for you.

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Acting like everything’s sunshine and rainbows

When he asks about your family, you paint the most pleasant picture of a clan full of best friends who love to hang out. When he asks about your roommate, she is someone you just adore. You paint the brightest picture possible of your life.

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He’ll smell that BS

Nobody’s life is all sunshine and rainbows. Be real. Tell him your roommate actually drives you crazy and that your parents are sort of nuts. He probably has similar people in his life. You guys can swap stories and get to know each other better that way.

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Being super “turnt up”

It’s a first date so you have to be really enthusiastic, energized, and on, right?

 

 

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Doing too much is annoying

Calm down. You don’t need to be bouncing from the walls to make a good first impression. If you’re feeling relaxed and have just enough energy when it’s time to go on your date, just be that way. Your date will probably find it relaxing to be around you.

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