Like most of us in various Internet communities across the country, the good people of Very Smart Brothas, were discussing Wiz Khalifa, Kanye West and their recent comments directed at their shared ex, Amber Rose. The article was good (as expected) and generally expressed what I felt about the situation (minus the love I have for Amber Rose). Essentially, Panama, the author of the piece, was arguing that it was super wack for both Wiz and Kanye to attempt to slut shame or berate Rose now that they were no longer with her; especially Wiz, considering Amber is the mother of his son.
Both Kanye and Wiz knew she was a stripper and both decided to date and perhaps love her anyway. But the minute the relationship went sour, all of a sudden her being a stripper was a huge problem. And not only was it an issue, Amber, a woman they had both publicly and repeatedly acknowledged as their lady, was suddenly dirty and unworthy of their time and affection.
Lame.
But it was in the comment section that I found something I wanted to ask you all, our readers and commenters, about and see if you agreed with the statement: You never know a man until you tell him no.
Hmm…
Now that is interesting.
You might be wondering did Amber tell Wiz and Kanye no? Why yes, yes she did. She’s said that she is the one who broke up with Kanye. That’s a hard no. And in response to his infidelity, she told Wiz no [more] when she filed for that divorce.
But it didn’t just happen with Amber and these rappers. It happens to us, “regular women” everyday.
I believe the commenter or someone responding to her referenced the men on the street who, when they’re trying to holler at you, call you all types of Queens and Goddesses. But the minute you tell that same dude you’re not interested or have a boyfriend, then suddenly you morph into a bitch who was ugly anyway.
Beyoncé even had a song about something like this about a man who flipped when she said they couldn’t have sex. It’s called “Yes.”
Ladies, sing along if you know it:
I said yes to your number and
And yes to you dating me
Yes we can be together
But you got to wait for me
The first time I said no,
It’s like I never said yes.
In the name of fairness and equality, we could say the same is true for woman. No one likes rejection. But men, who have largely been programmed to place much value on their pride and ego, are perhaps more likely to take a bruise to the ego far more personally and lash out because of it.
I was discussing this notion with a man earlier today and he argued that a woman can learn just as much from a yes as she can from a no. Basically, he said you don’t know a man until you see his reaction to all of your responses.
Fair.
But I still think watching someone when they’re not getting what they want is far more character revealing and informative than watching them when they’re satisfied and content.
But those are just my thoughts. What do you think about the statement? Do you think it applies to men and women equally or does it tend to be more egregious in men due to pride and ego? Share your thoughts.
