How I Finally Got My Sexy Back After Having A Baby

March 21, 2015  |  

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Last weekend I was at the mall running errands with my son and decided I wanted to do something nice and buy my husband a gift. I know he has a thing for Chucks, so I wandered into a shoe store and found a pair I thought he’d like. I took a pic and sent it to him via text asking him if he liked them. He called me back immediately, but to my surprise he wanted something different.

“Babe, thanks for thinking of me, but if you really want to buy me something, buy yourself some sexy lingerie and sexy panties. That will be the best gift!” I must admit I was pleasantly surprised by his answer. I asked him if he had anything specific in mind and his answer hit home: “Anything that isn’t for breastfeeding or the baby…something sexy for me.” Wow. Were my ratty nightgowns THAT bad?

Yes, they were. When I stopped being in my feelings after hearing his response, I had to admit that I haven’t been the sexiest mama on the planet. While he always tells me what a great job I’m doing as a mother, I’m sure I could be doing more to be the sexy woman he married. But after I had my son, outside of work, I live in sweats, oversized t-shirts or comfy nightgowns that have plenty of stretch jersey material and not enough satin, silk or lace. I wear loose-fitting garments that allow for quick, easy access to my boobs so my son can nurse – not form-fitting ones where my husband can admire my cleavage like he used to.

Now granted, he knows my breasts are serving a different purpose right now, but that doesn’t mean I can’t keep it sexy for him as well. I’ve never been a makeup person, nor does my man like an overly beat face, but a little mascara and lip gloss never hurt anyone either. And lets not talk about my hair. As a naturalista, there is a certain routine I must maintain in order to look decent when I go into the office. This includes twisting my hair up at night so that I have nice waves in the morning. However, on weekends I rarely unravel my twists – so I tend to look like Celie from Friday to Monday. Not really a good look. Why is it I can rock a nice twist out for my coworkers and not my husband? I guess I just took certain things for granted…which can extinguish the spark in any relationship if you’re not careful.

Don’t get me wrong, my husband thinks I’m beautiful no matter what – but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t put in the effort to get my mojo back for myself as well. While being exhausted with leaking breasts doesn’t make me feel the least bit sexy, sexy shouldn’t necessarily be a feeling so much as a state of mind. Admittedly it’s hard to get that back when you have a little one to take care of – everything else just seems so trivial in comparison. But getting your sexy – or even your sanity – back after having a baby is a must in order to build confidence and make you feel great about yourself. And it also helps your relationship, whether you think your man notices or not. Mine did, and I had no idea I was walking around like a frumpy old lady until he made his request known.

So, I left the shoe store and walked into a store I knew that sold sexy lingerie. In my size. So what if I’m not back to my pre-baby body – they sell sexy in many sizes these days, so surely I can find something he’d like. I then went home and took a nice scented bath; and then I washed my hair, oiled it, twisted it up and then unraveled my luscious waves. I smeared on some lip gloss, lined my eyes and swiped on some mascara. Next, I nursed my son and put him to bed early so that I could slip on my new baby-doll nighty. Finally, I took a nice cat nap so that I’d be rested when my husband got home.

Needless to say he enjoyed his gift immensely, and I felt like a million bucks for the first time in a long time since having the baby. Those little things went a long way, and it wasn’t as exhaustive as I thought it’d be. I’m sure my husband will be expecting more of that in the future, so I’d better get my mind right from here on out. Damn I wish those sweats weren’t so comfy, but if I want to get my husband a gift, what better gift than giving it a little more effort? And it wasn’t just a gift to him…I was treating myself as well.

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