When Women Earn More Than Men: 15 Tips For Making It Work

March 9, 2015  |  
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You shouldn’t care about who wears the financial pants in the family, but sometimes you just do. When women earn more than men, the road can be tough. Here’s how to cope.

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Know That He May Have Trouble Being Happy For You

Men are supposed to be the breadwinners. They hear it as often as you do. And from time to time, it may make him feel resentful.

Keep those feelings from becoming a big issue by letting them roll off of your back. Instead of getting upset, have a conversation about what steps you both can take to make him feel better about his role in the relationship.

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Find Role Models

Women breadwinners are far from alone. If you can, find a couple who’s dealt with the same issues. They’ll have plenty of wisdom and advice to help smooth out the road ahead.

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Don’t Apologize

Be proud of your accomplishments. Don’t let judgments or shade make you minimize your accomplishments to emphasize his. When you’re feeling proud and secure, you’ll only add strength to your relationship.

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Never Bring It Up In An Argument

Every couple should put “No Trespassing” signs on some issues. Bringing your breadwinner status up in anger will leave him feeling resentful long after the argument is over.

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Put The Emphasis On Love

Relationships are about more than money. Invest time in activities that bring you closer as a couple. They’ll remind you of why you’re together and take pressure off of the relationship.

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Don’t Get Mad

Someone is going to have something to say. It’s best to find a way to tune out negativity. Instead of getting mad, just smile, nod and move on. Showing the world how good you are together is all the comeback you need.

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Spouses Get Equal Say

“I make the money, I make the rules,” can leave the other spouse feeling like they don’t bring anything valuable to the relationship. Married couples should have equal say on finances no matter who brings in the money.

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Make His Contributions Clear

Feeling that one partner doesn’t pull their weight is the number one source of resentment between partners. But money isn’t the only thing that partners bring to a relationship.

The best way to battle resentment is to make sure that both of you are clear on how they make up their half of 100%.

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Talk About Tension

Write down how you feel, then imagine his point of view and write down how you think he feels. Have him do the same. Once you’ve cleared the air on paper, you’ll be better equipped to talk to one another about what’s bothering you — and how to fix it.

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Help Him Come Up

Taking the time to invest in his future while building yours is about more than being a supportive partner. It’s an investment in the future of your relationship.

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Know That He Might Not Want An Upgrade

You can lead a horse to water but he might not want to drink. Not every man aspires to a high-paying job or even full-time work. Get clear about both of your goals and ambitions. It might mean downsizing your goals, or moving on to a more upwardly mobile relationship.

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Vent Your Frustration Elsewhere

Can’t help but feel frustrated that he can’t contribute the same amount to the household? Those feelings aren’t just natural, they’re bound to pop up from time to time.

Instead of letting those feelings turn your attitude, take out your frustrations in kickboxing class, on a dart board or whatever outlet leaves you feeling better.

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Know How You Really Feel

If you’re frustrations with your partner seem endless, it might be time to examine your feelings. Are you really comfortable earning more than him? If the issue feels like more of a mountain than a mole hill it might be time to reconsider your relationship before the resentment builds up.

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