White Mothers, Biracial Daughters and The Hair Dilemma

April 20, 2011  |  

Rebecca Carroll, a writer at AOL’s Black Voices,  was a typical pre-teenager. She worried about growing breasts, which boys were checking for her and which Nikes she would add to her shoe collection. But unlike some other preteens Rebecca, who is the biracial daughter of a white mother, also worried about her hair. She worked tirelessly to get it to “behave” and look like Julie McCoy’s from ‘The Love Boat.’

All to no avail. Rebecca didn’t learn to fully embrace her full fro until she was in college, after a (black) girlfriend told her about the importance of moisturizing.

So when Rebecca learned that one of her white friends was going to adopt a black child, the question of whether she knew what to do with black hair came up.

Check out the rest of this story over at Black Voices.

Trending on MadameNoire

View Comments
Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN
  • Rita Ehn

    I am a 34 year old bi-racial daughter of a black father and white mother who have been married for 37 years.  I cannot even believe the ignorant comments I am seeing.  These children are here.  There is nothing you can do about how they got here.  Personally, I had a hard time bonding with my mother growing up because of our differences in race and tastes.  She also did not know how to do my hair.  I did not have a very good mother daughter relationship.  White mothers have to take the time to learn how to do hair, what their daughters are interested in, what music they like, etc.  They need to try their best to relate be a better and more understanding mother to their daughter.  I commend all the white mothers asking black women for help and advice and being concerned with all the issues their birracial children face. Many times my mother was treated so badly she was not able to bond with the black community and often kept to herself and was very withdrawn.  Your attitudes and behaviors are ignorant and detrimental to society and the only people who suffer are the children who did not ask to be here.

  • Sidni

    My Mothers White also.I’m 14 though.I think I figured my hair out around 2 years ago. OLIVE OIL! Don’t forget It!

  • Darryl

    OMG, I am a professional black male that married a white woman who knows how to take care of our daughter hair. From all of the feedback articles that I have read here, you would think there would be compassion for a mother who didn’t know how to do her own daughter hair. Also why is seeing a white woman with a black male an evil thing? I see different races of couple every day and that ok to some people. I was born in the sixties so I know about racism my parents lived it. Stop the hatred

  • LatinFire

    And I am tired of Black women complaining about every freaking thing! Whats important this young girl had a good home….So get over it…Maybe if you shut your mouth you can get a black man to like you…

  • tati

    Wow, the hate that still goes on today. I don’t understand why its a Damn you hell situation when It comes to dating outside your race. It’s a new generation get use to it. I am a black woman marrying a white man. It’s nothing wrong if you truly care and love someone it doesn’t matter what race or gender you are. We are not in the 50s so get used to it you will be seeing a lot more of us in the future.

  • Chris

    I Feel that this topic Is very direct an purposely put FOR A NEGATIVE REASON…1. Controversey 2. To futher Push the Ideology That black hair Is a Dilemma…When In fact IT IS NOT!!…..FACT1: BLACK HAIR IS A STRONG GRADE OF HAIR (NOT WEAK) WHEN TESTED TO THE SUNS HEAT REQUIREMENTS 2.OTHER WEAK HAIR TYPES CANNOT MEET THE SAME SUN REQUIREMENTS. So my question is for anyone with a hollywood/ sterotypical/willie lynch viewpoint on black hair to tell me which Word best describes you….STRONG OR WEAK? an every day we move closer to the sun? Last but not least…WHY ARE TOPIC LIKE THIS POSTED ON BLACKPLANET? SOMEONE TELL ME THAT!..PLZ..WHOEVER IS RESPONSIBLE FOR POSTING…WHY? I AM CURIOUS TO KNOW?

  • ShaNayNayNot

    There are NO biracial daughters. They are all colored freaks of nature sprogs. Jim Crow is correct in his "one drop' rule. Of course your sprog is going to have "hair dilemmas" as it is the product of an unnatural mating. Any human woman that breeds with a sub-human colored deserves the STDs, beatings and eventual death she will receive at the paws of her pet. Hopefully her sprog will go with her.

    • AMK

      Stop your racist crap! People are equal and there is no such thing as ”subhumans”. Your logical is stupid, ignorant and racist just like you! So get off of this forum with your racist self!

  • Pingback: White Mothers, Biracial Daughters and The Hair Dilemma | Madame … | Beauty and Healthy()

  • Prissy

    BLACK LOVE!!!! BLACK LOVE!!!! NEVER be ashamed to want to see your own people together!!! BLACK LOVE!!

    • deedee


  • Cori

    I am black female that has a biracial daughter. There are several interracial couples where I live. I honestly don't have a problem with BMWW relationships. However, it does bother me when WW can't befriend or get comfortable with our culture. One of the ladies in the park (who is married to a BM) said to me "oh your lucky. Your daughter got the good hair" WTF???? I said excuse me, and she clearly see I was offended and starting apologizing about her statement. That burns the ish outta me. How can u lay down with a black man have black children and subconsciously deem yourself superior. I don't get it.

    • sandalwood

      She might've just been trying to bond with you, albeit rather misguidedly. Most white folks are unaware of the concept of "good hair" (at least before Chris Rock's movie, anyway) and probably only hear other black people refer to it that way. She could've been parroting what she's heard other [black] family members/strangers/whoever say in an attempt to connect'. Doesn't make it right or better, though – she should've just said, "your daughter has beautiful hair" & left it at that. I think the whole concept of "good" and "bad" hair needs to be retired, by everyone!

      • Karlene

        You must me kidding. White folks "unaware of the concept of "good hair"?! They invented the concept of good hair, skin and features. I guess there are no history books of how whites treated Blacks for 1492 to present. You are either completely ignorant or playing dumb.

    • Sandy

      You knew exactly what you were doing when you were laying with that white man you disgusting bed wench.

    • Samantha

      Their husbands don't screen for racism like (most) black women in interracial pairings do before making the union permanent.

  • Prissy

    HELLO!!!! Say that AGAIN!!!! I agree with you! I am NOT EVER going to apologize for wanting to see BLACK MEN with BLACK WOMEN!!!! I am for all things BLACK! and more BLACK!

    • AMK

      I am too! I agree

  • Laura, who another person breeds with is none of your damn business. That's between them and God.

    Anywho, I know how that woman felt. It really did take me until college to figure out how to do my hair. For the most part I either kept it pulled back or in a massive, unmoisturized fro. Ah, the dark days…..

    • Eugenia

      Allison I'm with you whomever you choose to have a child with is your business, no one else's. If you like blk love, then enjoy yours and stay the hell out of everybody else's love. As for 'breed' who uses that word, that poster talks about people like animals which means something is seriously wrong with their mindset.

      If you have a friend or family member with a bi racial child help them out, hell I'm black and so was my mom and she had hard time trying to figure out my do my hair b/c I was the only girl. And I know ww that do hair better than bw, if she don't stop being a d@mn hater and just help out if need be.

      • LatinFire

        I agree with you..who uses breed? That's used on animals..Low lives get a life…and I am not even a black woman or a white woman I am just a woman…..