Serious Question: Can You Be Friends With Someone Who’s Jealous Of Your Life?

February 4, 2015  |  

Source: BET

During last night’s premiere of season 2 of “Being Mary Jane” we saw MJ picked up right where she left off at the end of season 1: wilin’ out. I truly didn’t think Mary Jane could get any worse than lying on the floor attempting to artificially inseminate herself with a turkey baster (after showing up at the home of the non-complicit sperm donor drunk),  yet low and behold she outdid herself last night in a very different way.

I can speak for myself (and likely a few of you too) when I say alcohol has been known to make one express their deepest, most inappropriate feelings at the worst of times. If you have friends who love you enough to see past the drunken stupor they’ll likely forgive you, depending on what comes out of your mouth once Jack and Henny go in. But there’s something to be said for the people who tolerate emotional drunkeness on a daily basis when a friend wants something they can’t have and takes that out on them, repeatedly.

We saw that last night with the introduction of Mary Jane’s friend Valerie who, to the naked eye, seemingly has it all — good looks, a great job, a happy marriage, and 2.1 kids. It’s understandable how an equally attractive, career savvy woman in the same age bracket would feel some type of way about not being a wife and mother as well, but is being in your feelings over not having a relationship worth losing a friendship? Or better yet, is Mary Jane the kind of friend that’s worth keeping around?

Jealousy is an awkward emotion to be the object of. While some might liken it to flattery, just as jealousy is a terrible quality to have in a mate, it can also wreak havoc on friendships — as we saw last night. Mary Jane could’ve gotten a pass for her drunkenly insecure tirade about Valerie being kept on a leash by her husband, but it’s the half-a$$ed apology that came a day later when she essentially acted as though Valerie should apologize for having the life she wants that sent me over the edge. Though Valerie stood her ground and told Mary Jane if she wanted something similar she needed to go out and get it for herself, that advice seemed to go in one of MJ’s ears and out the other as just a day later she showed up at Valerie’s home expecting her to be her emotional crutch after dogging her out twice in one week. Where they do that at?

It’s not surprising Valerie’s husband Chris had it up to here with Mary Jane’s antics at that point. While I agree with the Twitter commentary on MJ being obsessed, I’d also add she was being selfish, expecting everyone else to share the burden of her singleness without regard for their own problems or thinking about how she got into this mess with David to begin with –and not even acknowledging the fact that she spent months pining after a married man after they reconnected. Can you say missed opportunity?

And the thing is, anyone with a group of two or more friends would be sympathetic to these things, as I doubt there’s a single woman on the planet who hasn’t wasted more than her fair share of time on the wrong man or even questioned why her and not them when it comes to their romantic life. But when you alienate the very people who can have your back in such a time of desperation as what MJ showed last night, it won’t be long before you find yourself without a man or any friends.  Thirty minutes into the show, I personally was exhausted at the thought of tolerating a person like that, let alone calling them a friend and I’m curious whether Valerie is going to eventually hit her breaking point and cut MJ off or nurse her back to sane mental health. What do you think? Could you be friends with Mary Jane if you were in Valerie’s shoes?

PS: If you missed last night’s show, the full episode is below.

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