White Women Do It, Too: 8 Things Black Women Can’t Get Away With

April 16th, 2011 - By LaShaun Williams

It seems like every week there is a new study about black women ranking number one in something perceived negatively—abortions, births out of wedlock, multiple baby fathers. And, among the popular defenses is that black women are not alone in these statistics. “White women do it, too” is one of the most common excuses.

Black, white, yellow, brown—we are all one in the same in that we come from the same species; but, it would be silly not to acknowledge that we do come from varying creeds. We are culturally and genetically bred differently; and, society has been conditioned to see black and white women in conflicting regards. Thus, we are impacted differently by similar actions.

Here are common things white women do, too, that we just can’t get away with:

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  • mixedsingle_com

     

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  • LoveIsCrzy

    it’s sad though. i hate the fact that we let this happen. black men are  changing now; they dont look at black women as desirable…they only want sex. which is so sad, because a white woman can have sex and get married to that black man. we are looked at, generally by all men, as sex slaves.. A man who cant love a black woman is not a “good one”. I’m so sick of hearing that,white women do not get the “good” black men, they usually get the scum of the earth… but, because they’re generally rich and famous, sometimes they (the men) feel they need a white woman.. as a trophy to symbolize their successes. i’m not saying interracial love (TRUE LOVE) is impossible or that a black man with a white woman is a “bad” man.. i’m just speaking from experience.. i’m currently am engaged to a black man.. who once had a thing for white girls…but you wouldnt imagine the things did to date me..nor how long he waited! I’m curvy with natural hair; the total opposite of his “type”… i’ve had him wrapped around my for nearly 3 years now.. and many more to come! lol   

  • middleagedblackwoman

    #9 Be fat. Never mind the porker white girls out there. They get to be plus sized models  and go on reality shows. We get lampooned by Norbit and Madea and stay home every Saturday night

    #10 Date or marry outside the race. White women who do sp are open-minded and truly in love. Black women who do are either sell outs or self-loathing or simply tramps.

    #10 Be OURSELVES!  As long as Black women continue to be judged more than anyone else we might as well forget ever being accepted for ourselves. If you act Black you are “ghetto” and falling into stereotypes. If you try to improve yourself, have good diction, have a good career and actually made it through life without making mistakes 1 through 8 then you’re “acting white.” Darned if you do, darned if you don’t. It stinks.

    • Guy

      I agree with you on some of your points. As an outside observer of the African-American culture (Northwest European-American male here), it seems that your culture is hardest on itself. To be different from the “mainstream” Black culture is to be criticized. I think homosexual Blacks have it the hardest…everybody seems to be down on them.
       
      I was raised without prejudice by pretty decent parents. I’m married to a Latina and my brother-in-law is African-American. Hopefully, more and more people are like me in society – caring less about skin color and more about character. I read Madame Noir regularly and I often am surprised by the things I read. Like the thing about Black women not being able to walk around without a smile without being thought of as mean. That one blew me away! I’ve never even considered that. Whether or not a Black woman smiles all the time does not affect my opinion of her. Maybe I’m the minority here with respect to this type of thinking?
       
      But I do have to disagree with the thing about low-rise, skinny cut jeans. They are just as hot on Black women as they are on white women, if not more so! And your # 9, to me, is flat wrong. I find Black women beautiful, including those that are not skinny. In fact, although this may be a grossly stereotypical and insulting remark, I think Black women with a little extra weight carry it much, much better than White women. Overweight White women generally look sloppy to me while overweight Black women look very sexy.

      • http://twitter.com/girlwonder614 cute_n_ creepy

        Very well said! Made me smile a little too! ^5

      • monee’

        Yes, believe it. I’ve been walking down the street minding my own business as usual and was told ” smile, it can’t be that bad.” Now I want to look mean (but I won’t) because you pissed me off. Do I have to smile at everyone all day..geez? Sometimes when I do attempt to smile at people in passing, I get the look like…seriously? no one is that nice.

        • Katie

          I’m lilly white and I get that alllll the friggin time! It’s really annoying!

          • Susan Bailey

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        • http://www.facebook.com/hellalinday Helen Lindsay

          Thank you ,Thank you, and Thank you !!!

    • maria

      #10s are the truth.

      I kinda disagree with your #9 though. I feel like Black women are the only women allowed to be overweight/curvy in the media. Think Amber Riley, Queen Latifa, Oprah, Octavia Spencer, Toccara, Jill Scott, Raven Goodwin, Raven Simone and the list goes on. When is the last time you’ve seen a fat white woman on TV that wasn’t the token-fat binge-eating comedic relief? Even singers Beyonce and Rihanna are waaaay curvier than most white singers. And pretty much any white singer over a size 4 is promoting weight loss. White plus size models stay famous for 2 years max, but everyone remembers Toccara.

      • Beautifulchocolate

        The reason we have so many successful big girls in Hollywood is actually insulting. The mainstream doesn’t consider us a sex symbol or threat to the holy white woman. So we do get a pass to be fat, because they figured that no one wants us anyway.

      • tiffany

        Yes, but you must admit white women are displayed on every channel, all forms of advertisement ad media, all pictures, all movies, commercials, all marketing products in stores, all tv sitcoms, all products in stores across the country, and paraded in every other races face as the epitomy of beauty. We all know that is not true. Why is it this way? All you have to do is take a look at who is in the boardroom that makes the decisions for what the US has available for entertainment
        Many people decide to lighten their skin because they don’t realize the effects of billions of images of white women being promoted as the most valued and beautiful throughout their life time, but I do. This is how young children believe by the time they are five they should be White and Black is bad.

        Now, we don’t hear of any White women complaining about that! As far as size is concerned Black women have curves that the average White women does not have, that’s why the world calls it voluptuous, and guess what they don’t have billions of images programming their mind for a life time, like white women do, for men to be attracted to a voluptuous figure.

    • CarlaKah

      But it’s not in Cosmo. It is written by a black woman who knows what she’s seen and been through. Every one of her points touch on occurences in society:

      1. Sex on the first date

      My brother and his friends have been saying it for years. They perceive mixed and white girls as “easier” but black girls as “sisters” and demand “sister/mother-like” behaviour from them. It is a reality we (black women) deal with.

      2.“Leaking” sex tapes

      The stereotypical black woman is already oversexualized in every way. The images about us in the western world are sustained by the different entertainers, movies and other media creations that chose or are chosen by strategic marketers to profit from an apparent struggle. The last thing that can help us is to be “caught” on tape. It’s behaviour that is secretly expected from us thus there is only a hoe-factor instead of a surprise factor.

      3. Speaking in baby voice.

      In black communities the strength of women is often protected, motivated and praised. A baby voice simply doesn’t reflect strength. It only works when the target group (men) consider it “cute” if you do it. Im not saying that there are no black women who succesfully do it, I just doubt doing it would work for the majority due to our backgrounds. And who wants to sounds like a baby, when you’re a woman? Not a woman who wants to be taken serious I’ll tell you that much…

      4. Getting a nose job

      According to a combination of statistics, researches, surveys and the media, black people still could use a healthier dose of self-love (think of the DOLL-test!). This is a great generalisation of course because we all have our own DNA and can variate from boulimic insecurity to narcisistic confidence. However, thanks to several nosy stories about MJ and the like, a nose job or cheek implants or jaw “correction” will often be depicted as a clear sign of self-hatred. I will not say it always looks horrible. The reactions in the black communities just might be “not so much” as Borat would say.

      5. Walking around straight-faced

      If you don’t care about how people perceive you or the consequences that come with how people perceive you, when “walking around straight-faced” then there is nothing to worry about it. For the rest of us, it may very soon lead to being judged. Have an angry/serious face most of the time and you’ll be described as a closed of/angry black woman.

      6. Cackling loudly on the phone

      True as well. When I laugh, I love to laugh with passion. Life can be beautiful, especially through laughter. I’ve unfortunately have this bliss seen cut short by people who deemed it as ghetto/inaproprioate. Especially when I’m in public.

      7. Wearing low-rise skinny jeans

      Not true. The right size, brand, width and length can get most women there. A muffin top is however a no-no anywhere….

      8. Getting knocked up

      Walking around alone with a young kid, while being young yourself, already gets you certain looks. I say just don’t care. Once you are a “single baby momma” then you’ve got to work a little harder to gain respect from people in the (church) community. Deal with it and move on. It’s not the end of the world.

      Most of the judgements come from our “own people”. It all boils down to have purpose in your life, being self-confident and knowing where you stand for and why. Think about none of the point (except for #2!) have any effect on your life if you are a succesful lawyer, doctor or politician.
      It is all about how much other people’s opinions affect YOU when you’re already being a responsible put together adult with clothes that fit and don’t show your crack, self-confidence, only an eye for mature guys when dating, a good eye for what cosmetic enhancements would work for your face and body and (the according to your own beliefs) needed houshold situation for a child.
      I say get yourself together and # 1 en #3 to #8 simply won’t define you. Ever.

      JUST MY TWO CENTS PEOPLE!

      • nsu1997

        We black men perceive white women as easier only if they are among those who deal with black guys (honestly most don’t) but the ones that do are typically easy and loose. But there are PLENTY of easy black women to counteract that so it’s really a non-issue.

        I also agree with you on the low-rise jeans. The original author wrote it as if most black women have big shapely butts. More than any other race of women, black women truly are in all shapes & sizes and most don’t have what I’d consider a big butt.

    • Jennifer

      10) that is only what black men think. I think in society the black man, white women relationship is still the least accepted, many think they are only date each other because of stereotypes and that is true for some but not all black men white women relationships. when black women date and marry white men it less often for stereoptypical reasons and because they love each other, interracial marriage between white men and black women is more likely to last.

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  • Terminator258

    Yes, it is definitely true that there are white women, asian women, and hispanic women who talk loudly on the phone, get pregnant early and wear skinny jeans, but what I would really like to know if whether or not black girls, on average, act more like this than other races….?

  • TruthisReal

    If ya wanna know the End (stereotypical effect); look into the Beggining (originating cause): Plantation. Part of “their” ideology in regards to depreciating any element of value regarding we Nubian Descendancts was to implement all misogynistic ‘isms’ upon us. Why? Well back in the Bad Ol’ Days of Slavery; it played an effective role in minimizing any apprehension or guilt within the male slaves assigned the task of randomly copulating and conceiving with the females “They’s just hot black wenches anyway”.  As we have (sadly but truly) continue/d to be exploited to this day; just remember one thing my fellow MN Sistahs: WE HAVE THE FINAL SAY. Of these “8 Things”; I can’t honestly profess that I’d be inclined to encourage my own ‘black’ 9 y/o daughter to make a way of life anyway. To know that such is inadvertantly expected of her (at her Worst) simply reinforces my resolve to ensure she ‘beats the odds’. Who’s with me?

  • TruthisReal

    If ya wanna know the End (stereotypical effect); look into the Beggining (originating cause): Plantation. Part of “their” ideology in regards to depreciating any element of value regarding we Nubian Descendancts was to implement all misogynistic ‘isms’ upon us. Why? Well back in the Bad Ol’ Days of Slavery; it played an effective role in minimizing any apprehension or guilt within the male slaves assigned the task of randomly copulating and conceiving with the females “They’s just hot black wenches anyway”.  As we have (sadly but truly) continue/d to be exploited to this day; just remember one thing my fellow MN Sistahs: WE HAVE THE FINAL SAY. Of these “8 Things”; I can’t honestly profess that I’d be inclined to encourage my own ‘black’ 9 y/o daughter to make a way of life anyway. To know that such is inadvertantly expected of her (at her Worst) simply reinforces my resolve to ensure she ‘beats the odds’. Who’s with me?

  • GETOVERIT

    Maybe all of you just need to smile more, because if this many people come up to you and tell you to smile you’re probably a frigid b!tc# lol. There might be something wrong with your faces, not with us. Also, this is not a race-exclusive issue, I look at (white) women grimacing on the buses and trains all the time

  • Helen

     Black women do it MORE than non-black women.  Nobody said non-black
    women don’t do these things or that it’s only wrong for black women to
    do it.  And by the way, black MEN play a role in this behavior too just
    like non-black men play a role in this behavior.

  • TheTanningMom

    I highly disagree with number 8. I wear lowrise skinny jeans.

  • Gatorswifee

    blah blah blah waa waa waa! quit bytching and crying no on cares! just a bitter bytch rant.

  • John Cappel

    ….First off…only ignorant people believe this…..According to the economic studies and government statistics…..Caucasian Americans live off of welfare than most African Americans…secretly and publicly….it is not really  a race thing anymore….it only for those who are, just either ignorant or…….stuck in the pass…..this may have nothing to do with this..but as i was scanning all of these…’disturbing’ comments…i just had to say it. i am white, and my family has lived off of Welfare or ‘food-stamps’ and had good paying jobs…’law suit’ you may say.? who cares?? They are dead now anyways…

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_YKNWSCKRILWISMK4C6BWZXZ5VU Willis

    Halle Berry is different in the nose job department because she’s mixed. Her father is black and her mother is white. 

  • Happydiamond

     Because all you do you whites is think of money like prosts,ha ha ha!!

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  • Ronnie D.

    Stereotypes, stereotypes, stereotypes, and speaking of feminine, why did you put such a masculine, black woman, as the woman cackling on her phone? Also, Kim Kardashian isn’t white, and if she is, then she disproves your theory of skinny jeans, since she has as big a booty as pretty much anyone out there.

    • bully

      Kim Kardashian is part Armenian. Last time I checked, Armenians are White.

  • Msmykimoto2u

    Dang yall forgot about lotion….

  • Menaxoxo

    This is so fhuckin stupid. Really….? A black women can’t get pregnant or wear skinny jeans cos her skin is brown but a white person can?! Da Fhuuuuuck! 
    This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Who ever wrote this needs to be shot in the boob. 

  • Goregeousxoxo

    ohhh man, this is so stereotypical. who made all of these rules, anyway? where are you getting your data? I honestly believe anything goes when it comes to all of the topics you adressed. I don’t even know where to begin…everyone talks to babies and dogs in high-pitched voices. scientists performed a study on how the pitch of voice soothes babies and that is just the human response to cuteness. anyone who sleeps on the first date is easy, and skinny jeans…really?! oh my gosh, I would continue but I do not have the strength. it would be easier just to delete this.

  • Vpotenza

    all i know is – the girl in the skinny jeans photo looks black, as fas as i can tell, and she is ROCKIN those skinny jeans in way this white girl wishes she could!  there are no rules…