White Women Do It, Too: 8 Things Black Women Can’t Get Away With

April 16, 2011  |  
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It seems like every week there is a new study about black women ranking number one in something perceived negatively—abortions, births out of wedlock, multiple baby fathers. And, among the popular defenses is that black women are not alone in these statistics. “White women do it, too” is one of the most common excuses.

Black, white, yellow, brown—we are all one in the same in that we come from the same species; but, it would be silly not to acknowledge that we do come from varying creeds. We are culturally and genetically bred differently; and, society has been conditioned to see black and white women in conflicting regards. Thus, we are impacted differently by similar actions.

Here are common things white women do, too, that we just can’t get away with:

1. Sex on the first date.
Make that the first three months. Black women have to be especially strategic when it comes to giving up the goods. It is often an immediate dealbreaker if sexual intimacy happens too soon. Black men are turned off by black women they perceive as easy. However, for white women, it works a little differently. Black men cannot compare them to the female staples (mothers, grandmothers, aunts, etc.) in their lives; thus, there are lower standards. Doing backflips and tongue tricks on the first date can land her a significant other.

2.“Leaking” sex tapes.
There are no black Kim Kardashians. Superhead is about as close as it is going to get to a black woman gaining mainstream notoriety for sex; and, although scandalously delicious, it was short-lived. We are, unfortunately, still shadowed by the Jezebel stereotype. Sixty million dollars, ELLE magazine covers, Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards shows? Out of the question. Remember Montana Fishburne? Yeah, she’s making low budget Adult Videos and whoring.

3. Speaking in baby voice.
Paris Hilton used to do it and now the Kardashian sisters are using it to amplify their cuteness. Clear enough to be coherent and underdeveloped-sounding enough to not be intimidating, baby voice alleviates notions of an intellectual threat. Too bad black men typically like their black women to at least sound like they have a brain.

4. Getting a nose job.
Our noses are genetically-designed to be rounder, with nostrils a little wider. White women don’t look so strange because they fix their noses to look whiter, removing bumps and breaking bridges to make it smoother and slimmer. We often look ridiculous trying to surgically make ourselves look more like them.  Halle Berry is an exception. Most rhinoplasties turn out more like Latoya Jackson.

5. Walking around straight-faced.
Stereotyped as angry, bitter and flat-out mean, black women have to put in a little work to be perceived as personable and friendly. If we aren’t smiling, potential suitors assume we are unapproachable or upset. We have the burden of fighting a stigma. A straight-faced white woman translates to the public much differently. In fact, they don’t really think much of it; and, it’s not something that deters an interested brother.

6. Cackling loudly on the phone.
The boisterous, ghetto stereotype is one that applies to black women, alone. People hear us speaking loudly and turn the corner in fear of something popping off. Even though it is usually due to passion and excitement, the volume has to come down a few decibels. Or else you will be that woman. Since white women are viewed in a more demure, feminine manner, such behavior is not as damning.

7. Wearing low-rise skinny jeans.
These were not created with shapely, plump backsides in mind. Slim, slender, thick or fat—low-rise skinny jeans are a black woman’s recipe for plumber’s crack. They work best to highlight the barely-there bum and straight up and down physique. Our pants need to come all the way to the waist in order to provide complete coverage for the booty.

8. Getting knocked up.
The fastest growing segments of the homeless population are women and children, the majority of which are black. Class differentiations make black, single mothers more susceptible to poverty than white women. In many cases, single mothers (commonly referenced as baby mamas) receive little financial support from fathers and do not come from families with a significant amount of extra income to help. Also, a solid percentage of white, single mothers are divorcées, which is a dissimilar scenario.

LaShaun Williams is a lifestyle and relationship advice columnist, blogger and soon-to-be author. Her work has been featured on popular urban sites, such as The Grio, and she has made appearances on the Tom Joyner Morning Show and Santita Jackson Show. She is also the founder of Politically Unapologetic, where she unabashedly discusses pop culture, life, love and a dash of politics. Williams lives in Atlanta with her husband and young children. Follow @itsmelashaun on Twitter or visit her on Facebook.

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