Houston Woman Marries Herself To Celebrate 40th Birthday

January 26, 2015  |  

With her 40th birthday approaching and no potential husband in sight, Yasmin Eleby chose to gift herself with the elaborate wedding she’d always dreamed of. However, instead of vowing to love, forgive and honor a significant other, the Houston resident made the lifelong promises to herself.

The ceremony was held at the Houston Museum of African American Culture on Saturday, January 3 and included 10 bridesmaids and three ministers, who assisted with the spiritual ceremony. She was walked down the aisle and given away (or as Black Art in America put it, given back to herself) by her mother. Entertainment for the evening included live music provided by guitarist Ben Black, poet Deidra Smith and singer Rennette E. Lucien. The ceremony was coordinated by event planner Darrell Colone.

“I really don’t have the words to adequately describe the plethora of emotions that I’ve felt over the past few weeks, particularly on Saturday, January 3rd,” the bride gushed on Facebook. “I was overwhelmed with the outpouring of love and support that was shown to me during my celebration of love and life. Shana, Sandra, James, Deidra, Rennette, Brandy, Ben, and Darrell: every word that was said and sung was absolutely perfect for the occasion.

I couldn’t imagine the ceremony being any more poignant and meaningful. You really gave me, as well as everyone in that room, some valuable advice and things to think about. When I was singing ‘I Believe I Can Fly’ and got to the second verse I was instantly struck with the realization that I am indeed ‘flying!’ I’m doing so many things that I only dreamed about and never thought would be possible. I want to encourage each of you to spread your wings and fly! You are not too old and it’s not too late to try something different, learn a new skill, travel to exciting places, etc….

Don’t be afraid to take risks. I’ve learned that family and friends are always willing to welcome you back home if/when you decide to return. Thank you once again to each and every person that took the time out of their busy schedule to help me celebrate turning 40! A special thanks to all of my beautiful sisters, sorority sisters, and friends that stood up with me. I truly appreciate your sacrifice to be with me that day. It was great seeing so many friends (old and new) and family there.”

Interestingly, Eleby first announced that she would be marrying herself back in May of 2013 on Facebook.

“Did you guys really think I would get married without letting anybody know????? I want all y’all to dance at my wedding so I wouldn’t do it without you! So be ready by 2015!!!!!!” she announced to friends.

Facebook

Honeymoon plans are unclear, but according to BAIA, Eleby enjoys traveling and intends to visit Cambodia, Laos, and the jazz festival taking place in Dubai this year.

While some have applauded the bride, expressing that her ceremony demonstrated the ultimate act of self-love, others have criticized her for being “desperate” and making a mockery of marriage.

What are your thoughts on Yasmin’s decision to marry herself? Check out more photos from the ceremony on the following pages.

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  • Tabasko2000

    the biggest problem here is that she wont have anyone to blame if this marriage does not work…LOL

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  • helovedthephonecompany

    The emperor has no clothes in this one and neither does the groom because THERE ISN’T ONE!. To me this just seems like a celebration of giving up and having the party you would have had if life had turned out the way you wanted. I find this very sad.

  • Fromu2me

    Weird. And Desperate.

  • coolyfett

    Ohhh no!! This really happened?? Smh…..why black people?

  • SlimveggieLuv

    All she had to do was by two tickets to the carribean for her and her bestie so she can go get her grove back. Just bring him back to the states by getting him a green card and voila. Sounds desperate but not as weird and desperate like marrying herself.

    • DayTripper

      Read the book “How Stella got her groove back’? Look what happened to the author ..lol. Can you say “green card” and alimony?

  • I Know What You Are Thinking

    I am all for “loving and honoring” yourself. In fact, if everyone truly loved themselves this world would be a much better place. But, I must say that I have an opinion about this. Yes, it is her life and money that she spent, but in my opinion it could have been spent more productively than on an elaborate wedding, cake, decorations, etc. etc. How about going on a trip with a couple of your friends or having a celebration with just a couple of your friends? A least throw yourself an expensive party and save your money for something you’ve wanted for awhile. Invest it. Buy yourself something nice that you have wanted for awhile. #2. Forty years old is not too old to marry. I married the love of my life at over 50 and we are still going strong almost ten years later. I made a declaration that I would not live the rest of my life single. But that’s us. Many others have married over forty as well. If you truly want that special someone, and you have real love yourself, then you would realize that you are worth the wait. And, a marriage ceremony with that special someone and spending time with that special someone on the honeymoon is the most precious thing and there is no better feeling. I am sorry; but to give up at 40 years old is defeatist, and you’re not really honoring yourself

  • Rachel Remy

    This had nothing to do with marriage and everything to do with wanting a wedding. She could have thrown a “I am happy and single party” or used the wedding money for a great trip. Too many people view the wedding as the biggest accomplishment in a relationship.

  • redscream5

    She should have married her Narcissistic Personality Disorder to her Binge Eating Habit.

    • 1Val

      DEAD!!!!
      ROFLMAO!!!

    • May I have a sip of that tea? LMAOOOOOOOOOO

  • TamBam

    I’m just curious. What happens if she meets a man and falls in love and actually wants to get married? Does she divorce herself or nah? This is a very unique situation!

  • nick

    She probably had an interesting honeymoon….

  • LOL!!

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  • Denny

    And what was the point?! Shouldn’t she be committed herself as a complete woman and person anyway?

  • Jayda Brown

    This is taking loving yourself to another level.

  • Sean Hawkins

    Got one question, if this were a black man, would you same women defending this chick be defending the black man??? Nope. You’d say he’s thirsty, he’s insane, he’s ______ FOH!!

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  • Ikea is cheap ish

    Narcissism on steroids. Me, me, me and what about me. Not only is she indulging in the fairytale gender trope of little girls not just wanting but needing to ‘get married’ because the big day is all about her. Her off kilter ego is so pathetic that a groom would actually take a few seconds of the day being not about just her so why have one. This is like a man wanting you to high five him for bringing a po-n tape as his girlfriend to a family gathering. Get over yourself. You didn’t accomplish anything and you want us to congratulate you for being with yourself as if you just met you. Stop.

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  • Jonesy

    I think this is fabulous. It is a wonderful and uplifting thing. I thought about doing this for a few years. As a woman in my 40’s and single I completely understand. Many women dream of one day getting married. We date men assuming one day we will meet the one. The problem is that most men don’t want to settle down and get married. They want to be players for life. To me this ceremony shows the love and respect she has for herself. Even if she never finds a man who is worth marrying or who wants to get married, she knows that she has to love herself and live her life. Buy a home by yourself, travel to the places you’ve always wanted to see. Don;t keep these things on the sidelines waiting for “the one”. At the end of the day, you want to know that you love yourself fully and you don’t have to wait for someone else to do so. She won’t “settle” for an unworthy man just to say she’s married. To IllyPhilly and anyone else who sees this as desperate or depressing, it is anything but that.

    • 1Val

      The best thing single women need to do for themselves is tell themselves the truth. In other words own their mess. Too many single women LOVE to play victim of no good men and place ALL onus on men for their inability to sustain relationships. Here’s a novel concept whatever occurs in your life you permit it to do so.

      I know black women way past 40 who have been married, getting married, married multiple times, married and happily single. I refuse to believe any middle aged woman with a dating history hasn’t been involved with at least one man who wanted to wife her. I also disbelieve it is strictly the men who have commitment issues. Plenty of women sow their wild oats just like men are saddled with emotional baggage.

      Its great to be self reliant accomplished women. But its even better to be truthful honest with themselves women. Many women similar to men look good on paper while being emotional wrecks. Its one thing to think well of yourself quite another to be narcissistic. This marry yourself nonsense isn’t depressing just pathetic.

  • eestoomuch

    Stunt queen of 2015. She will be makng the talk show rounds in a minute….i have a question though? *in my porsha rhoa voice* your vagina is so rotten, no one will claim you???

  • CK. ®

    Watch her find a man next month…then what?

  • Guestest

    Well i’m a firm believer in doing whatever makes you happy as long as you are not huring anyone in the process. Congrats to her Lol

  • AJ

    It’s a stunt. She’ll jump on the first man that’ll want her.

  • khadija

    why she aint just have a party and wear white …. she weird

  • F Burns

    OMG guys her lifestyle doesn’t match up with mine so she’s crazy, desperate, and needs to be saved from reaffirming and supporting herself! Guuuuuys liiiiiisteeeeen! She’ll never find a man if she does stuff I disagree with even though she’s probably no longer looking for a man! (/sarcasm)

    If this is what she wanted and it made her feel good, then more power to her and I hope all the haters just feed her fire.

  • idontknowwhattosay

    ?????????

  • CurlsnGirls

    Is that Idris in the cutout? Girl, nooooo.

  • She couldn’t find gay male best friend, at least that wouldn’t make her look so looney tunes. Sorry, this makes no sense, and screams desperation.

  • ITrue

    It’s stupid. She’s happy and she can do what she wants with her time and money. But it’s stupid, not empowering just plain stupid. Everyone has the right to be stupid.

  • Simone Mackey

    I thought it was out of the box and creative. I say “you go girl!”

  • blah

    To all the women judging this woman on here: this is HER day and HER wedding, not yours. You all need to mind your business and let someone do What they want to do. some of you are still probably married to your cheating/abusive/unloving or half- loving partners. Nobody appointed you to a position to judge anybody single Or in a relationship. How would feel if people judged you for being in a messed up relationship?? FOH. Leave single people alone.

    • guest

      scorned much?? BTW How are you telling people to mind their business about an article in a comment section? You are special.

      • blah

        And you are an idiot.

    • If she didn’t want her business out there she would have minded her own business. You sound super bitter, perhaps you could marry yourself, take yourself off the market so you don’t ruin a good man being the way you are. I am so glad some of you independent women don’t need a man, you can marry yourselves and take your misery off the market.

    • whatevs

      Wedding, marriage…joining together of 2..this is just…

    • truthvsreality

      HER Wedding. What wedding – she didn’t marry anybody?

      Defintion of a wedding: ” a ceremony at which two people are married to each other” “to marry (another person) in a formal ceremony” “to unite (a couple) in marriage or wedlock” “to become united or blended”

  • angel garcies

    so if she dates someone else it would be adultery.

  • staci

    I feel so sorry for the women in this country. Both black and white women who want to marry are complaining about the lack of compatible men. My sister in law (who is white, in her mid 30s) complains that too many white men want Asian women. And two of my closest friends, also in their mid 30s, are seriously comtemplating freezing their eggs. I saw the writing on the wall when I was 30. I didnt want to be single nor a baby mama so I sought out a husband. Now Im in my late 30s and a happy married mother of three. For you young girls coming up who want marriage…dont let others call you thirsty and dont end up a baby mama. Take care of yourselfs, bodies. And date interracial if you wish.. Also leave pooky and em alone.

    • 1Val

      Enough of this bullshixx!!!
      ANYBODY can get and stay married it is not rocket science.
      I tell all my single friends if they had married men who wanted to marry then instead of pining and waiting for men who did not want them then they too would be married women.

      • staci

        Personally, I think it’s more than women turning down marriage proposals or letting a good man pass them by. It’s really hard for many single women who desire marriage. A 40 yo woman marrying herself may just be the tip of the iceberg.

        • 1Val

          Its hard for single women who desire marriage who fail to date with purpose to marry.

          If you want a husband don’t date men who are disinterested in marriage. Period.

          I have a cousin who has been married a five times. Her first husband died, divorced second husband, third husband died, divorced fourth husband and presently married to the fifth husband. Of course, she is well over 40 years old.

          • staci

            yes, I agree. date men who want marriage. Some women believe it is ok to have a bed mate in the meantime.I dont agree with that. I do believe their are great men out there; I dont subscribe to the “all men are dogs” mess. I do suggest dating well and dating often.

      • F Burns

        Just because a man “wants” you, doesn’t mean he’s good for you.

        • 1Val

          The greater issue most single women have rejected men for whatever reason who was into them.
          Its really not an issue of single women being unable to find a husband its about single women not getting men they want therein lies the problem.

          • staci

            yeah!
            Before marrying I was oftnn told as long as he is a nice guy and loves you that should be enough. But I didnt want a man with kids, a reformed ex con, or low wage earner. I truly wanted a smart, hard working, fun (sociable, likes to travel), decent wage earner, attractive, confident, etc. And those are the men I dated before and eventually married. These men are out there.

      • Bravo! The very women I see complaining about there being no good men have their standards set on stupid. She makes 30,000 a year but want him to make 100,000. She wants a “real” man but spend all her coins on weave, nails and eyelashes. She wants to wear the dress AND the pants in the relationship. She brings nothing to the table but drama, BS & a to go container and fork. I learned a long time ago, women that exude the air of having it all together are really broken and confused. Don’t believe me, one example: Halle Berry.

  • TL

    She didn’t marry herself. . . she celebrated her life as a single person and enjoyed a day she always dreamed of. If it makes her happy and allows others to celebrate with her, that’s great! I wish her the best!

    • NO! She married herself, nothing in there states she is a single person, hence the wording “married herself” People are making a mockery out of comittment and marriage which is why so many have given up on marriage. What’s sad is she is celebrating being alone and lonely. Not fooling anyone but herself and those that participated in this mess.

  • dirtychai

    This is weird, but…I suppose it’s better for her to throw herself a celebration and move forward, than to be anxious, settle with somebody, and ruin both of their lives.

  • mmmdot

    Good for her. At least she knows that she is not insignificant without a man – unlike some folks who mistake being alone for being lonely.

    • hollyw

      LOL girl it’s some straight lonely and sad folks on here, you can tell ain’t no telling what they’d do if they got to 40 and was still single! Probably slit their wrists smh.

      • mmmdot

        LMAO! Pretty much. It’s sad to see women who truly don’t think they’re worth anything if they’re not married or don’t have a man. The thirst, desperation, and insecurity is REAL. Smh.

  • slim pickings for a sista

    This ain’t the 50s no more. Black men have more options than they ever have and they are definitely utilizing it. And don’t get me started on the black men out there that frankly aren’t marriage material any damn well….

  • DC

    But if she does happen to meet somebody, does she have to get divorced first?

  • Fromu2me

    Complete and utter foolishness and desperation. The people involved should have used this money to take her to the psychologist.

    • IllyPhilly

      CTFU, I never thought of that, but it sounds like that would have been a good idea.

  • Dominique Thompson

    Her money, her business. Would I? Probably not.

  • Sara

    Cause a plain ole birthday party is just passe?

    • I guess so, should have married myself when I turned fifty, but my fiance wouldn’t be too happy. SMH

  • enlightenment

    Is anyone else confused? I don’t thoroughly understand the meaning behind this “wedding.” All I got from the quote above is a bunch of Thanks yous and vague lines of encouragement…but what is the REAL explanation from for this self-marriage? Is she making some kind of statement to society? Is it just a “I want to marry myself because it’s funny.” ? Was it just a marriage-themed birthday party? Was it a “I always wanted a wedding…so I’m gonna have one with or without a man?”

    I can’t really comment on this if I don’t know the motive lol.

  • Tira Masu

    First of all: why are all the women fat in these photos?
    Second: I wish I had the kind of money she spent on her wedding to spend on my wedding. We only had one live musician, and we could only afford her for 2 hours. This lady had 3 live performers – dang…

    • Lineysha S

      And she had the wedding at a museum, which is pretty costly. For that money, she could have pulled a Swizz Beats and threw a House Party themed bday bash AND hired the original actors to make an appearance and perform. Aside from Tisha Campbell, the rest aren’t really doing anything, so I’m sure she could have gotten a great deal. IJS

  • Immobilier Jacmel

    here comes the judgment and the negative bs….3-2-1….lets go!!!!

  • Guest

    here comes the judgement and the negative bs….3-2-1….lets go!!!!

  • Trini_Angel

    I’m all for self-love and wanting the best in life but she probably needs to lower her standards a little with regards TO WHAT SHE’S ACTUALLY LOOKING FOR IN A COMPANION!! We women tend to stick to the cookie-cutter, fairly tale that was embedded in our heads growing up, waiting or prince Charming to come with the full package riding on a horse when in reality ‘Prince Charming’ can be the best man on earth but he’s a plumber, going to night school and living paycheck to paycheck but he’s got ur and his best interest at hear when it comes to being in a relationship……and just to add: This is me ( a black woman) speaking from experience who did ‘lower’ her standards and found the ‘perfect’ man

    • KingJames

      I get exactly what you’re saying. I’m hesitant to tell sistas to “lower” their standards. But, I too found my “perfect” mate when I stepped outside my own box. My Husband was previously married and has 3 kids, which he has primary custody of. I DID NOT date men with children, because I just looked at it as a lose/lose situation. However, my Husband is an AMAZING father and he still manages to put me 1st. His ability/willingness to put me 1st makes me love him that much more and keeps me focused on putting HIM first. To me, putting him first means not making him choose between me and his kids. Our blended family is turning out beautifully (I was so worried about it) and my step kids are truly a blessing in my life. I never pictured myself as a stepmom, but I love my new family and my Husband is completely worth it. He loves the Lord, he loves me, and we love our kids.

      • Smile

        Just Beautiful. That encouraged me and made my heart smile:)

      • staci

        I dont think marrying a person with kids is lower ones standards. It is a preference thing. Many, incl me prefer men without kids.

  • sunni_daze

    This is so sad and pathetic. What happens when she meets the right man and he wants to marry her? Can you divorce yourself, bump that is this mess even legal?

    • Happy Monday

      No marrying yourself isn’t legal. She can’t get a marriage license or anything so it’s symbolic. Lol! I think it was for attention really.

      • IllyPhilly

        This was waaay too much for attention. She could have put out a twerk video or something for attention. LOL

    • Brenna

      It was clearly symbolic. But the more interesting issue is the way everyone keeps calling this sad and pathetic. YOU people are the ones who have some serious issues, the way you are determined to gainsay the woman’s own very obvious positive view of the matter.

      • sunni_daze

        Like I said. Sad and Pathetic. Its screams I’m lonely and no manwill ever love me so, I’ll take drastic measures to seek attention for my loneliness. Symbolic of what? She married herself FOH.

        • 1Val

          I’m with you.
          How can anyone spin insanity as female empowerment?

        • firelion

          If she wants to throw a bday party then throw a bday party, but this whole (I love my self so much I’m going to marry myself is either sociopathic or extremely self absorbed). The golf cart with the fake man says it al…
          Its funny how Brenna feels she has to go at anyone who says something negative about this. (must be related)

          • truthvsreality

            Hello that Brenna chick is related or looking for someone to valid her own state of loneliness. This mess is straight crazy. Ole girl could have taken 1/10 of that money and invested in a few dating services, single cruises, party bus, something……

      • Vandellish

        I’m just curious to know how you would feel about this if a man did it?

      • hollyw

        Agreed. Like, they obviously get something out of it, trying to make the lady markedly different from themselves, even implying mental illness, which I’m sure vast majority don’t know anything about. And of course, it’s got to be 99.9% women, doing the bashing lol smh. Like, really? This makes you “sad” lol?? Other than just another weird story to read?? Now, THAT is pathetic. A lot of folks need to get they lives…

    • Guestest

      C’mon now.. smh

  • ComeLetsTalk

    Child I would have used all that money on fabulous trip somewhere exotic. Marrying yourself, hey she likes it I love it. SMDH though

  • Taneesha Culture Clash Thomas

    i’m cool with it…you should definitely love & honor yourself…you deserve the best why not celebrate that.

  • Barbara Codner

    This isn’t empowering. It’s really sad!! She gave up…. 🙁

    • Brenna

      For cripes’ sake. That she married herself does NOT mean that she “gave up” on anything. Presumably you mean she gave up on finding love. That’s ridiculous. You’re projecting YOUR issues into it, courtesy of our cultural baggage that women are SUPPOSED to find romantic love and get married. If SHE isn’t unhappy–and the article pretty clearly indicates she’s not–then why should you and everyone else keep insisting that this is sad and depressing, rather than going with what the woman feels about her actions herself? Why are you all so hellbent on overriding her own stated emotions with your own?

  • hollyw

    Uhhhh…okay. Not like I have a grand opinion on it, because I honestly would like to hear why SHE made the decision to marry herself, which of course, is not included in the article. If I don’t know the bride’s reasoning, or if she even called it a wedding to begin with, then I ain’t gone judge…

    • Brenna

      Her reasoning is pretty clearly laid out in the article, actually. She asserts that this was a celebration of life and love, and if you read the rest, it’s just pretty clearly an affirmation of her sense of self-worth. I see no reason at all to need to ask her the question when her answer is already clear without her having to spell it out. And it’s also clear she considered this a wedding, since she stated back in 2013 that she intended to marry herself

      • hollyw

        …interesting. Firstly, thank you for that clarification, minus all the unnecessary superlatives.

        Of course, this article has been updated since my comment was posted, so just going back and being able to read her quoted thoughts on the ceremony, in her own words, added a lot more insight into her right process. Sorry me not providing an opinion or judgment, either way, apparently upset you lol… I’ll also have to say that, with the way this comment section has gone, including your posts and replies, I won’t be adding much more than that on. Good day 🙂

      • truthvsreality

        I don’t understand why she had to fake a marriage ceremony to celebrate her life and display self-love. She could had just celebrated her 40th birthday with her peeps, make the theme about her and all the positive things she plan to do with her life going forward and called it a day.

  • Selena McQueen

    I applaud this courageous woman. They always said do whatever makes u happy and if this was it so be it. I don’t think she was desperate at all and honestly if she wanted to spend her hard earned money on her wedding that’s her business. Women do worse “acts of desperation” such as chasing after a man who don’t want them or somebody else’s man. She was bold but like I said at the end of the day she did what made her happy u people should butt out

    • Leilani

      Finally someone said something positive!! I think this was awesome and inspiring and I agree with every sentence you wrote…let the woman be happy!

  • aleximaq

    This is a thirst trap…on every level….smh

  • itswhatevermakesyouhappy

    Do you baby girl do you……*walks away* #nojudgment

    • guest

      Agreed, as long as she is happy and not out shooting people or robbing, do you Missy!

      • Brenna

        Did you seriously just go and invoke the meme of black people out shooting and robbing people?

        • fgs

          Did you seriously just miss the point by inserting black people? GTFOH with that!!

  • rondav77

    Uhhhh….okay. I imagine after the reception, she went to her honeymoon suite and “made love to herself” to consummate the “marriage.” But what did she do once the pastor said “you may now kiss the bride?” Did she wrap her arms around herself and kiss her shoulders?

    • nikki

      Lol let that woman be.

      • rondav77

        LOL….if she likes it, I love it!

    • WrightOnTime

      You are displaying your ignorance.

      • rondav77

        Lighten up…my comment wasn’t meant to be cruel or ignorant. This is not something you hear about every day, so I thought I’d put a different spin on it. Just something to make people laugh on a Monday morning! There are more negative comments on here regarding this story…why didn’t you go after those people?

    • IllyPhilly

      Dead at kissed her shoulders.

      • rondav77

        That’s the closest body part I could think of. Kissing her own hand would be a little corny. LOL

    • Dominique Thompson

      Another article I read said details on how the marriage was consummated will remain private…. Seriously?! lol

      • rondav77

        Wow…that was actually in the article? That’s cool with me. I don’t need to hear about lavender colored dildos, beads and hot oils! LOL

        • Dominique Thompson

          LOL

      • BOB or in her case BOIH

    • TuckingFypo

      LOL! *cries real thug tears*

    • Brenna

      Oh, look, a nonsense argument from someone who doesn’t realize that the language of wedding vows is mutable!

      • rondav77

        Okay, Brenna….I see where you took the time to answer almost everyone who commented on this story. Which would be cool….if you weren’t putting people down and TRYING to sound like the most intelligent person in the world. Which you’re clearly not…I see a few grammatical errors in your responses. But that ain’t none of my business, though. *turns on Keurig to make tea*
        Like I said before, this was a story that is out of the ordinary….and some of us were just having fun with it. No one wishes ill will on the lady who married herself. If that makes her happy, more power to her! The fact that you need to come on here and try to belittle everyone says a lot about your character. And the fact that no one likes your comments (except for the ones that have 1 like, which you probably did yourself) should tell you that no one is buying into your philosophical garbage…and you’re not as smart as you think you are. Have a great day. *goes to sip tea, since it’s cold and snowing outside*

        • Can I have a sip or two, I’m parched!

          • rondav77

            I’ll do you one better…what flavor do you like? I’ll make you a cup. I’ve got plenty! 🙂

    • oscardgrouch

      ROTFLMAO!

  • Amarossa

    Couldn’t that money have been put to better use and donated to some black charitable organization? Seems like a waste of financial resources to me. People ought to be more focused on enriching the lives of the less fortunate, rather than chasing after the unattainable. Probably marriage is just not in the cards for her. So why not use that money to educate a black child?

    • WrightOnTime

      When a person has wealth, why do poor people like you come around begging that they donate to a charity???
      She can spend her money the way she wants to spend her money.

      • When you are a Delta and your moto is community, sisterhood and whatever else they pledge, your duty is to your community and not yourself. That money could have fed homeless children. I bet she is in church every Sunday praising God too. We were put on this Earth to extend love and compassion to one another, not perform such a selfish act of marrying one’s self. I guess she is so used to be alone that she is the only person who can stand herself anyway.

        • WrightOnTime

          I can’t judge this woman that deep based on how gossip sites describe her.
          Duty to the community??? On what planet?

        • Guest

          You can’t dictate what someone should do with their money.

          • Guest

            It’s not about dictating what someone should do with their coins, it’s the fact that she didn’t even think about how that money — wasted on a fake ceremony and reception — could have benefit a young black teen with books for college or help with tuition.

            She didn’t have the ability to reason on how this was a waste of her resources. This money could have been better serve helping a young black child or teen improve their education. She so self-obsessed with the idea of a wedding by a certain age she did (what I consider to be) something that was extremely selfish, desperate and makes a mockery of the institution of marriage. At the same time she made herself look crazy as hell.

          • truthvsreality

            It’s not about dictating what someone should do with their coins, it’s the fact that she didn’t even think about how that money (wasted on a fake ceremony and reception) could have benefited a young black teen with books for college or help with tuition.

            She didn’t have the ability to reason on how this was a waste of her resources. This money could have been better serve helping a young black child or teen improve their education. She so self-obsessed with the idea of a wedding by a certain age she did (what I consider to be) something that was extremely selfish, desperate and makes a mockery of the institution of marriage. At the same time she made herself look crazy as hell.

            Shame on her people for participating in this madness and not pulling her back in. They co-signed on this tragedy.

      • Selena McQueen

        Omg girl Yaaaaaaasssss smh

    • hollyw

      Would you say the same for a couple..? Obviously, most people’s money is better spent on the less fortunate, but if it’s not your money and/or you aren’t educating someone else’s black child, I don’t see why you’d expect her to.

      • I would. When I get married in July our invitation state to donate to charity instead of gift. That’s what we were put on the Earth for, to help the helpless and give hope to the hopeless. What you are blessed with is meant to be shared.

        • hollyw

          Good for you. My point is that the essence of charity is selfless giving, so that calling yourself to do so is fine, but dictating to someone as to what they should do with their money (b/c y’all don’t know nothing about what this woman does with her time, profession, or even gives monetarily to charities regularly), completely misses the point.

          Btw, asking wedding guests to donate for your wedding isn’t even remotely the same as being asked to give the money that would’ve gone to a wedding ceremony to charity, instead of HAVING that ceremony. Y’all too much lol smh.

          • You’re too much. Instead of respecting the opinions of others you come in here with your condescending tone and disrespect. Great for me because I walk the talk. What she does screams of desperation not realizing she takes herself everywhere she goes and the fact that after 40 years she hasn’t found one man that wants to marry her speaks volumes. I have also found the women that agree with this BS are lonely women who can neither get nor keep a man, which are you?

            • hollyw

              o.O

              LMBOOO you’ve been bashing this woman and every woman that doesn’t judge HER all across this thread and talking up your “charity” and what people “should” be doing with their own money and lifestyle, but I’M condescending and disrespectful lol?? “I have also found that women that agree with this BS…” lmbo what an extremely transparent way to try to suppress any dissenting opinions, like you did a poll on folks on here or something smh lol, good thing my self-esteem is too intact. You should’ve never repped Delta, you are embarrassing yourself right now. “I have also found, you know, in the real world, that people who talk up their charitable acts in a condescending manner are almost always overcompensating. So grow up and get a clue. And that is all, no other response, goodbye!

              • If your common sense surpassed that of dried spit you could see for yourself that I am not the only woman who has the view about this female. You must be one of those that can’t get or keep a man and have resigned yourself to settling for yourself. I could care less about your opinions, however when you start trying to belittle people with your sophomoric rants and half assed insults it’s really hard to believe you have any self esteem. Your blathering confirms that you are as ignorant as I thought. First genius, I am not a Delta, would rather slide down a banister of razor blades and land in a puddle of alcohol. Second dummy, you are worried about what I have going on when you should be worried about yourself and all those grammatical errors. And since I am used to having the last word, it would behoove you to go have several seats before someone get their feelings hurt. Here’s a hint: It won’t be me. Move along little rat/thot.

            • Guest

              Kudos, could not have said it better!

            • truthvsreality

              Kudos could not have said it better. You are on to something!

          • Nicky

            People kill me when they like to tell other people what they should do with their money.

            • hollyw

              Girl, yas, and they believe they can always spend it better lol smh. Just salty they are not making money like this woman!

              • truthvsreality

                And for all the money she has……she still ain’t happy. Half-crazy right now to boot. Remember Billie D. Williams said it best “Success is NOTHING, NOTHING without someone you love to share it with”. So you can lay in a cold bed with that degree, six figure job that can go away tomorrow, a 401K that can be drain in a Wall Street minute and a cardboard husband at a faux wedding….and congratulate herself on her material success. I’ll take my husband and children for 500 Alex.

                • Girl, let me have a sip of that tea!

                • hollyw

                  But whooo caaaares?? Good for you! Lol this is my point; she did, and what?? How does that take away from you and your dream of a husband and kids in any way? You imagine this to be tragic, but what’s truly sad is women all up and down here, and across the country, who need such validation for their lives that they’d get up in arms about ONE chick who threw herself some silly azz ceremony. Like, y’all really need to hear other people bash this woman, and argue with people who refuse to. Good grief, just go and live yo life! Kids, no kids, no husband, the husbands, a million charities or none. Validate yourself! THAT was the message she sent, cuz I am positive she don’t give a shxt about y’all feelings on the matter.

          • truthvsreality

            She wasted money on a fake ceremony. You can not legally marry yourself. You said she could have given to charities and done other things we don’t know anything about. I would find that hard to believe based on the behavior and actions of this person that the public has been exposed to from this irrational event.

        • truthvsreality

          God bless you sis. Someone in here with morals and a conscious, who thinks about others and believes in paying it forward. God’s word said “help my sheep, and I will repay”. Those in this world who are selfish and self-serving individuals wonder they have few blessings. They manifest the wrong spirit.

          • Thank you and God Bless you as well my sister. How can I profess to having faith and belief in God without loving my fellow brothers and sisters. People lose sight as to why we were put on this Earth. I cannot fathom having the best when there are people that are hungry. I get self satisfaction by helping others and my blessing are in abundance. Being selfish and self centered get you nothing but left alone. Self preservation is the number one law of nature, but so is extending compassion and love to others.

      • truthvsreality

        This is the kind of selfish, me-ism, backward, dangerous kind of self-centered thinking that is contributing to the failure of our black youth. It takes a village, neighborhood, block, street. But folks all about self. Well if you only in it for yourself you gonna be by yourself – just like ole girl!

        • hollyw

          ???

          Okaaay, but again, how is this more “selfish” than for a couple. Where is your logic? Oh please, this woman is hardly failing our “black youth” lol, you done made the widest generalizations about her and everybody else who is not ridiculous as you, and use fear tactics b/c you know your arguments have no basis. Get a life. For your information, it is single people who put in more time in the community and give to charities b/c they have more disposable time and income. So you better hope they stay single for as long as possible, to help out all those troubled youths you’re so worried about lol. Dummy smh.

        • Sip, sip!!

    • Brenna

      By that logic, why should anyone ever spend money on a lavish wedding ceremony at all, ever.

      Whether or not marriage “is in the cards” for her is irrelevant. People keep casting this as if she did it as an act of desperation, out of self-pity for not having someone to marry, but that’s more to do people’s cultural baggage than this individual woman.

      It’s a valid argument that the money could’ve been spent on something more altruistic, sure. But you’re framing it in terms of THIS woman having done something selfish specifically due to the nature of what she chose to spend her money on, and that’s where you go wrong: because if you’re going to focus on that, then the fact is, it wasn’t selfish and pointless because she chose to have a ceremony and marry herself, but because spending money on a lavish wedding ceremony instead of using said money to help other people is ALWAYS selfish, including when couples do it
      “for real.”

      • Brenna

        Also, why do you say that she is chasing after the unattainable? Her decision to do this shouldn’t be taken to mean that for her marriage is, or just that she feels it is, unattainable.

    • Guest

      Why are you counting this woman’s coins. You sound foolish making suggestions on what this woman should do with her hard earned money.

  • 1Val

    What a tragic and troubling display of insanity.

    • Fromu2me

      Agree, totally.

      • 1Val

        And I find it even more disturbing her family and friends being supportive of her nonsense.

    • Ajavee

      What is even more insane is the people there at her wedding ain’t nobody said to her “Yasmin you need to get a grip for real”.

      • 1Val

        Co-signed!
        Heck, I’m embarrassed for her.

  • Meesha

    Technically there is no way you can marry yourself. I mean I get it you want to show that you will always love and honor yourself. She coulda just thrown herself a 40th birthday bash and called it a day. In essence that’s what she did. What she gonna do if she wants to divorce herself later on down the line?

    • Brenna

      And I’m sure she knows that. There’s no need to go nitpicking technicalities.

  • IllyPhilly

    I’m sorry to say it, but this sounds depressing. .

    • aleximaq

      It sounds depressing because it is depressing…..

      • Brenna

        Nah. Whether it is or isn’t is purely subjective. Since the woman involved is clearly not depressed but sees it as a celebration of her life, it’s bizarre that others would find it depressing instead. It reflects nothing but your own issues.

        • 1Val

          More like her issues! lol. The photo of her standing by the golf cart says it all. For a woman “marrying” herself posing by a cardboard cut out of a fake groom rather than a picture of herself. She wants a HUSBAND!!!

          • Ajavee

            Exactly Val.

            • 1Val

              Her family and friends are nutty also.
              I would have declined her invitation by suggesting she seek therapy for her emotional issues than hosting a faux wedding.

              • Ajavee

                My thoughts exactly.

                • 1Val

                  Can you imagine attending a baby shower without a pregnant mother?
                  But folks attended a wedding without a spouse.
                  No wonder she thinks her actions makes sense without anyone in her circle to tell her the truth.

                  • Ajavee

                    Some folks do not get it Val. Seems like common sense is out the door.

              • Smile

                Ditto. I honestly think there maybe some mental illness here. It’s one thing to throw yourself a birthday party or do a girls getaway trip, but to throw a one person wedding- something that was designed to join TWO people together as one……. um yeah bless her heart but she needs therapy.

                • 1Val

                  With her “supportive” family and friends participating in her delusion no wonder she doesn’t know that she is insane. Nobody loves this woman enough to tell her the truth. “Baby it isn’t men its you that your problem. Please go get some help.”

              • Fromu2me

                Agree.

          • Guestest

            Well of course she wants a husband but because she doesn’t have one she is marrying herself. She looks happy in the pictures so oh well..

          • I Know What You’re Thinking

            You are absolutely right!

        • Ashley

          A celebration of life would be a party. Instead she took a ceremony that is meant to join a man and wife in a union, and celebrated herself. Simply put, she didn’t have a man but wanted a wedding for herself anyways. Anyone could have a large party and reception to celebrate their life, but a wedding with 3 pastors and 10 bridesmaids and a male cut out in the ‘carriage’…. That’s over the top and makes me sad. But I’m not single at 40 so who knows how lonely I would be and in need to “get married” I hope this is as fullfilling as she says it is.

          • I’m 50 and never been married. I didn’t put a time limit on marrying anyone either. I figured when the time was right and I was truly ready in mind, body and spirit, the one designed just for me would come into my life. When she made that promise to marry herself she showed that she all but gave up on herself and made herself less desirable. I can say that patience paid off and we closed on a home this past weekend and are now planning our wedding. What example is she setting for other women in her position? I know, “that’s okay if you’re not married by 40, you will have yourself”.

            • 1Val

              One of the sweetest ladies I know got engaged last Christmas. She is 70 years old and this will be her first marriage. There isn’t a time limit on love or marriage for women.

        • GrossGreg

          If you’ve ever dealt with depression, you know that you can’t tell whether or not a person is depressed from reading an article like this.

    • hollyw

      Sounds more bizarre, if you ask me, though I know it’s been done many times before… I mean, what would’ve been really depressing is if she had a ceremony and nobody showed up, ijs lol…

      • Bell Cole

        but they did show up… so what’s your point?

        • hollyw

          The point, which I’m seeing that you missed, is that it is not depressing, just extremely unconventional, to have a wedding to oneself. Esp. as long as you have friends and family there to come out and support you, no matter how zany or bizarre your wishes are. It happens.

    • HelloKitty

      No shade but this sounds like a woman desperate for attention. I don’t know how else to flip it. A wedding is for two people that commit themselves to each other. And that’s that. If she wanted to have a elaborate party in which she wears a wedding style dress and has a reception that is decorated like a wedding, then cool. But aside from that? I’ll be single 2000 years but I’m never going to sit up and marry myself. I’m just going to be single and live life and that’s that.

      • go home

        It’s not your business anyway.

        • HelloKitty

          Lol it’s my business when pictures are put on blog sites and social media. Don’t put out there what you don’t want judged. Be blessed go home

          • go home

            Are they your pictures?? Nobody asked you to lead judgment day.

            • Ashley

              Is the woman in this post your friend? At the end of the post it explicitly says “what are your thoughts”

          • ???

            What that woman did was HER decision. This is not your life.

            • It is when you have broads out here screaming there are no good men and bashing men. I find it hard to believe after 40 years no man wanted to marry her, which says more about her than it does the men. You must be her or a friend of hers, those are the only people who see this as okay.

              • DayTripper

                Maybe no man was worthy of her.

                • I guess not. No man is ever worthy of a woman who has standards that only Jesus can fill.

    • alt-K

      Agreed, it sounds very depressing because it is. I would have done a big birthday bash in celebration of the life I’ve lived thus far and have yet to live. But a wedding…smh.

      • Brenna

        No, it doesn’t sound depressing because it “is.” I wish you people would learn to recognize your own issues and biases for what they are rather than projecting them. This woman clearly is happy with herself and her life and there is no need for anyone to try to re-cast that into something else. If you consider it depressing, that is only because of YOUR internal crap, not because it is objectively so.

        • No ma’am

          You must know her.

          • Probably. If this would have been a man everyone would be screaming he’s thirsty, however because it’s a strong, independent woman she’s happy with herself? GTFOH, she takes herself wherever she goes which means the only people that can stand to be around her are those who participated in this farce. I bet a whole year salary they are talking about her behind her back just like we are.

          • Bell Cole

            I know her. She is a very accomplished woman. She teaches school in third world countries, speak different languages, well educated, Her whole family is just awesome! Loves God and themselves. I wouldn’t do it but of course I have issues. HEHEHE…

            • No ma’am

              Yet with all those accomplishments, she will forever be known as the nut who married herself.

              • DayTripper

                To her friends and family, probably not. To other strangers…well who cares what they think

        • Selena McQueen

          Thank you

        • GrossGreg

          But this seems to indicate that she isn’t happy with herself and her life. If she was, she wouldn’t find it prudent to have a wedding ceremony with a cardboard cut out of a groom.