Jumping the Broom Presents: How to Deal With Your Man’s Awful Mama

10 comments
April 21, 2002 ‐ By Demetria Irwin

Oh, the joys of dealing with a mother-in-law! It’s not always easy to get along with the former #1 lady in your sweetie pie’s life. She might not step aside to let you take that spotlight.  Take for example, the mother of Laz Alonso’s character in this spring’s “Jumping the Broom” (an adorable romantic comedy that will be released May 6, 2011). She has an iron clad grip on her baby boy and nobody, not even his future wife, is good enough to be with her little man.

Have no fear! Madame Noire is here to help! If you’re having problems with your future or current mother-in-law, here are five must-follow rules for getting along with the little lady.

Do not unfavorably (or favorably) compare her to your mother.
When your mom-in-law breaks out her “famous” mac n’ cheese, do not, under any circumstances mention that YOUR mother makes the best mac n’ cheese this side of the Mississippi. Maybe your mom can burn like no other, but you don’t want to knock your mother-in-law off of her pedestal. Just eat, smile and say “This is delicious!”

 

Humor her when she tells you the same story she’s told you 89,000 times.
No matter how old her baby boy gets, she will always tell that one story about how when he was five years old, he won that talent show. Even if you can repeat the story verbatim at this point, just smile and listen. Nod at appropriate points. Laugh when necessary. It’s not about being fake, just nice. Don’t give her the impression that you don’t want to hear her talk about her baby.

 

Only give sincere compliments.
People can spot a poser a million miles away.  Don’t give your MIL a compliment every 10 seconds about everything.  She will notice and she will assume that you actually hate her guts and you are just over compensating.  If you like something, say something, but don’t be ridiculous. Treat her like you would one of your favorite aunts.

 

Do not engage in family gossip discussions.
Now that you’re married (or soon-to-be married) you are part of the family, but you are not blood, baby girl and that matters to some people. Do not put in your two cents about Cousin So-and-So and her man problems when your MIL and her sisters start in on a discussion about her. Just listen, look interested and say something neutral if asked for your opinion.

 

Always keep a cool head.
If you have the “pleasure” of having a dragon lady for an MIL, you have to be the bigger person at all times. If she’s yelling at the top of her lungs and calling you everything but your name, you have to remain calm.  Let others see that she is the problem, not you. Don’t give your man’s mama a reason to talk greasy about you!

 

 

Have you ever had mother-in-law problems? How did you solve them? How did your husband react?

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  • Real talk

    You're right! I came into my marriage childless with a degree and a career! MIL and SIL can not stand that I am not a baby mama like them!

  • Jaytee

    I have to wonder why a husband who supposedly loves me would allow his mother to treat me the way some of you describe. For all those 'staying in church' MILs, the Bible states a man is to leave his mother and father and be with his wife. I've never experienced this type of treatment from my MIL or SILs but I guess I married a man who was raised to love and protect his wife.

  • DeepThinker

    My grandmother was very mean to my mother and while my parents were married, they never had any peace. My father had no backbone so when my mother tried to check her, my father never had her back. On the day of my father's funeral, as we are entering in the church, my grandmother paused and pointed to my mother and said "she was the start of all his troubles, may he now rest in peace". About 50 people stood there and looked at her with their mouths wide open. That affected me so much, I hardly want to be around my grandmother ever again.

  • Uncommon Logic

    I wish I could see you now… But since I cant.. I will LOLOLOLOLOLOL at you from the comfort in my home office… You have JUST proved his point. I have no idea of what bubble world you live in.. but please book a one way trip to reality. For real.

    Ill go even farther to prove his point of how women act.. lets take this to church… you can sit up and LIE and say you havent heard Mother Johnson take with her other board members about the "ungodly" females in church and how they BETS NAWT TOUCH HER Son with those sinful looks. Quit faking the funk chick.

    To sit up here and say that "nobody is good for their child" is utter bullschitnzil. And you know it.. When a son is being taken away from HIS mother… its a hard time to see him go… hell she raised him and carried him for 9 months… but a mother will always keep her cubs close by. Ready to attack when necessary. I can promise you.. if she is the ideal female who gets along with her boy.. mom will do whatever it takes to keep HIM happy to ensure that HIS relationship with MOM is still going to stay strong.

  • Shim God

    NOT all moma are bad, but no mom thinks a person is good enough for their baby..
    Walmart Giving Back After Laying Off Over 50,000 People.. $1,000 Giftcards – I Grab 2 of Them..LOL http://goo.gl/ggRyB

  • Shim God

    oh god..dealing with moms are the worse..and you're right..

    Walmart Giving Back After Laying Off Over 50,000 People.. $1,000 Giftcards – I Grab 2 of Them..LOL http://goo.gl/ggRyB

  • ShaNayNayNot

    The mammy sows are just chimping out because their spawns found a new muh cootchie to muh dik and they want their sprog's muh diks all to themselves.

  • InnocentTruth

    I'm going to pretend like you didn't attempt to disrespect me. Your assumption that I didn't attend school is incorrect. I have a Bachelors from the University of Maryland in Political Science and in December I am graduating from Georgetown University with duel degrees in Law and Public Policy. And if you don't believe me you and I can exchange facebook information. Moving on…..

    You may have felt you answered my question but you really didn't. All you did was create a wall of deflection. I asked you what would you tell your son in reference to females and you avoided the question. Your avoidance of the question informs me of your denial. This issue stems from mothers and/or females relatives of men not approving of female companions. Part of this is because women know how other women operate. The biggest critics of black women are BLACK WOMEN. I can take two groups of black women who are not familiar with one another and put each set in the same room. After scrutinizing each other for a few moments these women will talk about each other like a dog. "She think she cute" "She sleeps around" "She has fake hair"!
    You are trying desperately to ignore this point. The fact remains that women are conscious of how other women behave. Older women take this into account when judging a female for their son.

    • t_04

      I will say that, in general, women can be very critical of each other. I will also say that alot of that goes away with maturity. When you are working full time, running a household, raising kids, etc, you just don't have time or energy to waste criticizing other people. I hope that my sons will look to me as an example when they chose women to date and eventually marry. So, I'll expect her to be nice, educated, gainfully employed and carry herself well. I intend to be nice to her, but I have to keep it real – if my boys bring home some hoochie momma, all bets may be off. ;)

  • InnocentTruth

    Are you a mother? Given your knowledge of how young women behave in the community,
    if you had a son who was 16 and ready to date, what would you tell him about women? Would you honestly tell him ALL black women are wonderful and deserving of kindness and respect? Or would you tell him to tread softly with women and be careful with those he keeps company with?

No thanks