Why Are You Attracting Creepy Old Men?

April 8, 2011  |  

You’ve probably been there before. Walking down the street, or through a mall, minding your business, when a man tries to spit some game to you. But not a young, virile man, that Hot fella whose attention you wouldn’t mind obtaining. No, instead, it’s someone the age of your father, or worse case scenario, older than your father (ewwww). He’s dressed in dad’s jeans or one of those old-school player hats when he grins that Cheshire Cat smile, watches you from behind as you walk past and visually picks you apart. He’s that creepy old man, and he’s set his sights on you. If you are hopefully 18+ (sometimes even younger), men 40+ are working harder than ever to get your attention, especially when you don’t to want to be bothered. It’s creepy old man radar, and you’ve got it. After conversing with one of my girlfriends and listening to my sister gripe about a large number of older men hitting on her in the bars, I’ve noticed that older men, aka, your daddy’s friends, are becoming more and more bold. But why do these men with their eyes and minds all strewn about in the gutter, get the perv face from us? And more than anything, why do some young women in their prime, ready and willing to date, only seem to attract much-older men?

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  • Gfcf

    Just leave us younger women alone!

  • Angel

    It’s very gross and not natural. Dumb young females don’t realize the whole purpose of finding a mate is to procreate quality children and age and die at about the same rate. You want to change diapers when he’s 60 and you rarely 40??? Or worst yet when he thinks YOU are too old for him and trade you in for a 20 year old? Stop giving in into this patriarchy that only benefits old perverts. Demand equality because if it did exist, we women wouldn’t be treated as disposable after 50 and it would be acceptable for us to seek a young man once we are older. Stop criticizing each other and demand respect and act like a lady.

  • FireSpinner

    My first experience of being hit on by an older guy was when I was 5. A man who did our family a big favor became a family friend out of gratitude, even if he was not the type of man our family would normally have befriended. He was 55 or so and constantly called me his “girlfriend”. He would creep me out with this talk and the way he would look at me, the way a hungry wolf looks at a roast chicken. Gross. I’m middle age, and now I have a suitor who could be my father. He looks extremely weathered and worn and even though his parts don’t work, he want’s to “make love to me all night long” wearing a strap on. I’ll pass thank you.

  • Charmaine

    I read this article thinking it would give me some insight. But it did nothing for me! I’m 18, turning 19 this year. I meant older, like he could be my grandfather or great grandfather; 50+ always hitting on me and coming through my line. I actually had this guy follow me across the Super Walmart parking lot while I was walking home today. Like, he could not get enough and it was very disturbing to me, because I definitely feel like a line was crossed.
    I don’t think this article was helpful at all because it’s making it seem like it’s okay for a lot of perverts to act the way they do. No, not every older guy is a pervert, but majority of the ones I attract are. They just are. And to make it worse, I always get told I look like I’m about 14, so “looking mature” is out of the question.

    • Charmaine

      Come to think of it, I’ve always been hit on guys way older than me. When I was 13, there was a grown man around the corner that would always seem to drive by me – whether I was playing outside with my friends, or just walking home from school – he would drive by me and just check me out. He knew I was underage because he would see me walking home with a bunch of middle-schoolers – it was a small town and everyone knew what time the schools got out. He just didn’t care. And it’s not necessarily JUST age that makes it creepy, it’s the persistence of being inappropriate with someone that’s obviously underage.
      I had a neighbor that would always check for me when I would get off the bus. He would always try to invite me over and when I would tell him “I can’t come over” or simply say “no”, he would suggest we didn’t tell my mom about it; it’ll be “our little secret”. I doubt anyone in their right minds would agree that it’s okay from some grown man to be inviting an underage teenager over and telling her not to tell her mom about it. It’s sick and I’m tired of it. Like I said before – this article did nothing but condone this kind of behavior.

  • Nobody

    I’m in my twenties. I met a nice man who I thought would make a good friend. He’s in his forties and happily married. Recently he started coming onto me. I have found myself in this type of situation with older men a lot recently, particularly those I came to respect and whose relationship or casual conversations I enjoyed. It is extremely disturbing to me. One asked if I had an absent father in my life. I see these men as father figures, and it grosses me out they’re using me as an ego boost. I will never be interested in a man as old as my parents or older. It makes me think he’s immature too.

  • bird

    the person is right saying a lot of older guys are, my words, sexual predator GOOFS just looking to use a young girl for sex n more easy to trick n fool when young cuz niaeve n yeah , crave the male attention didn’t have a good father figure, im one of those , used n abused, sure not ALL the time, but MOST OF THE TIME THIS IS THE CASE…n wats worse, the creepy abusive goofs point to the young girl n old guy who might have something more functional going on to JUSTIFY their situation…usually I wonder why a young girl is attracted to an older guy n they in denial n they motives not as “pure” as they want to lead thelseves to believe

  • Grace Lattimore

    I get hit on by older men all the time. it’s so frustrating, never ever catch the attention of guys my age. I’m plus size but I’m evenly proportioned & not ugly! I have even asked multiple older guys & they all say the same thing “I don’t know, it’s just something about you” my mom says it’s a generational curse, I’ve prayed about it…. that’s how bad it is, that’s how fed up I am. it’s been like this since I was 15 smh I hate it so much, I’m like why can’t it be a rich handsome older guy at least? Lol smh I’m just venting. no one else ever seems to go through anything like this

  • CLW

    A man in his 40’s is hardly an “old fart.”

  • HenrikSmestad

    Hopefully, in the near future, all older people will look young and fresh thanks to the research on anti-aging done by Aubrey De Grey.

  • Arial

    I hear ya Anon I am 28 years old and have never had a sex life or boyfriend. No guys give me any attention or chance. Only the 40-60 year olds. It has always been that way. I am sick of it and it makes me feel sick and disgusted. I do not even feel like I am a woman.

  • tz

    a number of women who look like me date older men. when youre not getting attenton else where i guess you take what you get

  • Sones & BlackJacks

    same thing with me, im 13,and 50 year old guys try to hit on to me -_-

  • desha

    I have nothing against older men but those one who don’t take a hint, especially when you can’t walk away, like when Riding the bus, irk me. The ones that try to suss out exactly where you live cause they know its in the neighborhood. Who want to ‘ be your friend’ or just ‘talk to you a little’. Looking 20 years older than my dad, missing most of their teeth, smelling like old alcohol and looking like they haven’t bathed in a few weeks.

    That is disgusting.

  • grossed out

    Creepy old men are frightening, and they are relentless when it’s so obvious you’re trying to avoid them at all cost. It’s flat out disturbing and inappropriate. When you come across an older man who doesn’t get the hint and is stalking you, you have just met a creepy old man. They disgust me!!!!!!

  • Anon

    This has been the case for me since puberty. I could be 16 or 17 and getting hit on by men 30 and up. Men my age have almost never been interested in me, and I still have yet to figure out why. The feeling’s just not mutual. The men I’m into could care less and the ones who are interested are normally much older than me and/or not my type. It’s lead to my dating life being virtually non-existent. I went on a couple dates with a guy in college- not because I was attracted to him- but because FOR ONCE I was being asked out by a guy who was in my age group. Didn’t lead to much, since I ended up feeling miserable about the whole thing.

    It’s been pretty damn frustrating.

  • annommm


  • Normal Person

    Be grateful you are getting looked at all, toots!

    No. I’d rather be treated like a human being walking around. I am not gods gift to people and amazing swexy, but it still happens. Its not flattering to be hit on by someone who is creepy. You want to know what MAKES that person creepy? Their persistence even in the face of my sadness or discomfort or knowledge that i am underage or married. Its not right.

    And they are not out to find the love of their life when they do this. They are harassing me because nothing good could come of it even if I was interested. What would we have in common, what would we do together, and how the f**k are our parents going to react if we get married? Its a fantasy you should keep to yourself.

    I will f*****g let you know by reciprocating if I like it. So don’t tell me how to feel.

  • Object

    CREEPY people don’t consider your feelings when they persist despite ALL evidence that you are not interested. No, MN, i would have to say it has nothing to do with me that i get cat calls when i am getting kerosene in sweatpants and a f*****g muumuu shirt. Back the f**k off already.

  • Cu Sidhe

    Try substituting “old” with “black”, see how prejudiced that sounds.

  • ladyg

    My mother is 18 years older than me, to the day and has been single virtually all my life. So when someone approaches me, my first instinct is to assess whether they would be better for my mother. It is kind of weird, but I believe this is the reason I have never been attracted to an order man.

  • I Said

    When I was a lil' tyke I told this old man, "Pa-leese, you old enough to be my grandpa twice." I was scared as hell because I did not have my tennis shoes on and he was pushing a caddy, another gerriatric sign. I am grossed out with the creepers. I like men my age, not my father's, and not my lil' brother's.

  • Mimi

    This article…LOL!
    This article has described my dating life (well, lack of dating life) down to a 'T'.
    The only men who has tried to talk to me were men that were older than me. I have never been approached by a guy who was the same age as me (or at least, in the same age-bracket).Since the age of 13 (yes, I said 13), old men (men, who looks to be in their 40's & older) have always tried to 'talk' to me. I always felt offended by this, even now. For me, when I see an old man trying to spit game to women, who are decades younger then the gentleman, I think of one thing. He spent his teen years, his twenties, his thirties (and with some men, their forties), sowing his wild oats and now he wants to settle down and become a one-woman man. Instead of trying to wife up a woman in the same age-bracket, he wants to his Suzy Home-maker to be in her twenties (and for some men, the woman has to be in late teens).

  • Darkesthourglass

    There’s a difference between dating an classy older man and attracting a creepy old man. Some of these dudes are 2 years older than dirt, dusty as hell. I guess girls with absentee fathers fall for these types.

    • Dirty ol Bersterd

      @Darkesthourglass, There’s no difference except in your own mind. these old, stinky farts want sex as much as young hot guys your own age. the difference is old farts tell you you’re MATURE and it blows your mind, doesn’t it? Admit it, the old farts you’ve dated told you how ‘intelligent’ you were, how ‘mature’ you were, and that guys your own age can’t ‘appreciate’ your mind. Old farts are so full of it; they tell ALL younger women the same thing. Your best bet is to find a younger man who is doing well, or find a guy your own age. If you can’t then stop dating for a while and get your self-esteem together. Your low self-esteem is why you’re attracting these old, ugly men you’re not attracted to. Trust me. I used to be you.

  • The Beautiful One

    LMAOOOOOOOOOOO Damn, I don't have the balls to say anything like that to an elder. LOL LOL WOW! You're bold as sh!t…. 🙂

    • L-Boogie

      I agree. Need to grow some cojones grandes. Because I would tell you off but it will take you awhile to figure it out. LOL! You just go for the jugular.

  • The Beautiful One

    I think sexual and romantic relationships with men who were graduating college at the same time of your conception is just gross. Ewwww smh

    • L-Boogie

      That is so funny! I laughed out loud. HE HE HE HE HE!

  • CandidCutie

    There's older and then there is… damn old – LOL. 10 – 12 point spread not a big deal male or female. None of my twenty something friends are into guys who planning for retirement – they are not in shape, although they have skills in bed the generally can't keep up and umhm they look old and while I'm talking about hip-hop they're talking be-bop.

    For real old men lie about how much they're getting too. The one friend I do have that will date guys 40 and above – didn't have a father at home. Real Talk – a lot of young women are suffering because they are growing up without fathers. Also statistically, young women who date significantly older men are more likely to not graduate from high school, more likely to become un-wed and pregnant and are at higher risk of violence. These old dudes can smell a girl with a daddy issues and then just use 'em up like tissues

    • Lindsay Sullivan

      I’m attracted to men in their thirties.
      I am a high school graduate.
      I am a virgin.
      I am not a violent person whatsoever.
      That was QUITE an interesting…. ASSUMPTION though.
      Statistics cause generalizations.

  • Druck

    I thinks its up to the two individuals. I’m def not a faker like a lot of older dudes just grungy to score some young chick’s goodies. Im almost 40 and divorced recently. My wife of 16 years decided to step out. I have my kids, including one that she had before me. I have a job, cars and place. I like young women in the 21+ range but I’m also very picky. I bring alot to the table and she should too. I don’t need a mother for my kids, they have that. I cook, clean, iron, do laundry,etc. I just want someone to share my time with. She could be 20 or 40 if her mind is together. Don’t sleep on us just because of age. We can’t change that. If we have what you need to fulfill your life, let us in…

  • rene

    oprah says 'you attract who you are"

    • L-Boogie

      Rene, are you saying that I am sneaky because the way older men approach me? Interesting.

    • tz

      are you saying these women look old, ugly, and wrinkled? I get told i’m ugly by men my own age, but get hit on by older men. i look way younger than what i am. i’m 27, i look like i’m between 16 and 18 according to alot of people. where i’m from, people have fake butts, long weave, and alot of make up to go no where just for attention.i feel like i accidently stubbled on the set of a lil wayne video.

    • Marisa Yumi

      i’m not a creepy old man though

  • L-Boogie

    LOL! This article is actually very applicable to me at this moment. I do not think that older men are creepy I just do not like their approach. Most younger dudes either are too shy to approach you or are just plainly disrespectful. But some older men do not let you know what they really want they are sneaky. Do not be sneaky. ASK ME! I hate when men try to warm up to you but have other intentions. Maybe that is just men in general! LOL! But the reality is, a lot of younger women do find older men attractive they just do not like the manner in which they go about it.

  • Rastaman

    I am still a couple a decades from retirement, I got some gray in my hair, I have been called Sir for probably the last 10 years and I probably get the side eye from security whenever I roll up into a club. I have seen many young women in their 20s that have drawn my eye for minutes but I would prefer not to venture there myself. Most of my male friends are around my age and those that are single say they have no problems pulling 20 y-o women. In my socializing it is quite apparent that if I wanted to hit on 20 y-o’s it really wouldn’t be any more difficult than hitting on other women to tell the truth
    The “Holleratcha” dude hollers at young women because they holler back. The author may not and so may many of the commenters here. But in speaking with male friends they generally have an equal rate of success with 20 y-o’s as they have with women closer to their age plus like they always joke the young girl is not yet embittered. So in the end one can’t really argue with success.

  • guest

    Reminds me of the "CanIhollahatcha" guy from the Dave Chappelle Show. Its bad enough when its some young punk on the street with no home training, but when they are more than 15 or 20 years older its even worse… rotten meat indeed.

  • Prissy

    First, there is NOTHING wrong with those who like to date folk slightly or even greatly older than them. NO, I have never experienced that, but I have some friends who have and they say they liked that the older person they dated was "more mature", "comfortable in their own skin"…. etc etc. There are also those "old dirty geezeers" that just make you cringe out there as well. LOL.. It's all about doing what is comfortable to YOU. Why worry about what others think on what you're attracted to or dating?